Chaos Attraction

Angry Bird

2015-12-15, 8:06 p.m.

Today was the office holiday party. I am happy to report the following:
(a) Food was delicious.
(b) I won the ugly sweater contest with this one. Woot!
(c) I did well in the stealing game.

Notable moments from the stealing game:
* One fellow saying “I’m suspicious of bags” before grabbing a bag.
* Notable gifts: a Nerf gun, a selfie stick, an Angry Bird, crayons and a coloring book (yes, it’s a trend even here), some kind of flingable rubber chickens I only saw as a blur, booze, a martini set, a giant bling snowman ornament that was broken within ten seconds of opening it, apparently, an R2D2 bank, a giant pillow, a Snoopy that played “Feliz Navidad,” a bear cookie jar, a bear neck pillow, a “rearview mirror” for a bicycle (whatever that is).
* I am quite happy with my results this year: I got a late draw (26 out of 31) and stole the angry bird from my old boss, who had no idea what an angry bird was and was delighted that I stole it from her. Then again, she ended up having a bunch of other stuff stolen from her after that, so I dunno how that went.
* Two people got stolen from repeatedly, one guy a lot towards the beginning and one girl a lot through the middle and the end. She drew #2 in the first place, but hoo boy, did that one go badly for her. I lost track of how many things she lost-maybe six? At one point my coworker yelled out “You’re a victim!” at her. I think she ended up with a bear cookie jar in the end though, so not too bad.
* My coworker got the R2D2 bank and was desperately hoping someone would steal it from her, and that did happen, so she and the geek who stole it from her were both thrilled.
* Really, the best moves in this game are stealing something you want from someone who doesn’t want it, and hopefully nobody else wants it either! Plus you don't feel like an asshole!
* My gift of a 15-minute Monopoly card game (“I’m not sure how that works…”) and a puzzle went to someone who would probably be into that, hopefully.
* I’m not entirely sure why a candle and a giant pillow got the most steals.
* The lady running the event stole the Nerf gun for her cat, and then when it was stolen from her was all, you’re taking away a toy from a poor cute cat, followed by “I have 206 pictures of my cat on my tablet!”
* Somehow my coworker in AA always ends up with some kind of booze related thing at some point, which is super awkward. She’s fine with it, mind you, but at the very end of the game she exchanged it for the last present going…which was the bicycle rearview mirror. Probably not great for her since as far as I know she lives way too far away to bike, but still better than a booze thing. I guess we should be relieved she didn’t get the actual booze this year, which has happened before!

Oh, and for the record, yes, my boss was out sick yet again. Guess I’ll just have to tell her later about applying. Sigh, but I don’t want to wait any longer with the deadline approaching. Anyway, I have now Officially Applied. Now it’s time for the quiet phase of limbo.

I think I’m going to have to go into this planning and assuming I won’t get the job, because getting my hopes up and then having them dash freaking kills me, and seems to jinx me or something to boot.

I was attempting to schedule a meeting with someone for my new volunteer position (I basically joined the giant org social committee so I can get event planning experience) and she only had a whopping two days of availability all next month...and of course they were literally the worst time all winter for me and I had to give her all these terrible explanations of “If I schedule with you on Day 1, I’ll probably be forced to cancel at the last minute and god only knows if I can even get out of the building that day, we’re gonna have to go with Day 2 even though that’s only somewhat less worse” and “I’ll probably show up late to our meeting because god forbid I leave ten minutes before noon so I can arrive on time” and...jesus, it sounds ridiculous that my time is so regulated because I have to be “flexible” in case someone’s siiiiick and in case someone notices that I used my break time to leave early.


I need out of this specific position, but I have to accept that maybe that’s exactly what God wants me to be doing in this life. Or at least, there’s probably no rescue and focusing on a rescue only makes it harder for me to deal with the indefinite here and now.

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