2016-12-15, 8:21 p.m.
Well, the verdict is in, and I am .... guilty by association, apparently.
Yeah, I called it: they were going to slap my nose and get in some punishment anyway.
Long story short: I got written up but not to the point of discipline/starting firing proceedings, at which point the union bowed out and basically said keep my mouth shut and take the punishment already (slightly nicer framed than that, but...close).
My boss said he believed me, he asked my officemates and they were all, we never heard her yell at anybody but she sucks on the phone (thanks, folks), and between that and my previous record of sucking on the phone = I got written up. Not badly enough to start the chain of firing, this is just yet another office only writeup, and I got assigned to do a few things like take an online class and read some books (I'm down with that), and basically I think my boss was doing the best he could with this particular situation, which may not exactly have been 100% his call here.
He was extraordinarily nice about it, said he didn't want me to go out on vacation on a bad note, said various other people I deal with at work on a regular basis like me, etc. (Just not my office coworkers.) I like how I somehow leave these meetings feeling good with him. Dude is a sweetheart. I don't mean that in romantic context whatsoever, he's just super nice.
But that said: I am still rather pissed at being guilty anyway just because we don't like your voice. JEEBUS CHRIST PEOPLE, I'D GET A FUCKING VOICE TRANSPLANT IF THEY EXISTED. At this point I'm actively scared to use a phone if anyone is in my vicinity, and I should be scared. I'm now keeping logs of every phone call.
I am seriously considering putting up an ad on Craigslist along the lines of "Eliza Doolittle seeks Henry Higgins to rehab voice," except fuck if I know who knows how to do that.
I'll write up musical improv class later, I'm just not in the mood to keep going writing tonight.