Chaos Attraction

A Scavenger Hunt Christmas

2020-12-15, 8:00 p.m.

Still sick of work and not caring! Trying to force myself to care about stuff I do not care about! Not wanting to work on the dregs of things left in the group email box that I still don't understand! Though I had NO Zoom meetings today at work, which is maybe the third time this has happened during the pandemic. Go figure.

No therapy today. On a related note to that, Mom wants to drop by my house during work again tomorrow to drop off...whatever. By which I mean "let myself in, I swear I'll wear a mask." GODDAMMIT. I really, really don't want to have to deal with apartment management and demand that I get my locks changed because my mom may or may not respect boundaries during a pandemic. Do I need to leave boxes by the door as a booby trap? (Great, then she gets injured and makes it all even worse....)

Back to Hallmark: my options tonight were scavenger hunt, time travel, royalty, or other stuff. Most of the front stuff won. The time travel movie I'm not done watching yet so will review later, and I'm throwing in some other ones from other nights I haven't posted yet.

Unlocking Christmas:

Kate and Kevin meet cute while she's getting coffee. Then they remeet at her work, where she's an orthopedic surgeon and he's a former military guy with a former(?) leg injury. He goes to the doctor--her--and is amusingly snarky about how he doesn't need help and he's just doing this to shut up his mother, and hey, can I leave now? When asked about his injury: "I kicked a shark in the face." She calls him on his obnoxiousness, but also it's funny? I will note that it turns out she's already met his mother, a realtor. I'm liking this guy, he is super perverse for Hallmark. Seems like you've met your match, says his mother.

Somebody leaves both of them a key and a riddle, individually. Kevin's not interested, but Kate and her new work buddy Liz quickly figure out it's referring to a mailbox. Oh, wait, Kevin figured it out too. "I know it's a small town, but it's not that small."
Clue 1: recreate a childhood memory for someone else. "I guess we're two people who just like to do things for themselves," they agree. Before I go farther: fifty bucks says his mother set this up? Okay, fine, they're going to. Kate has no family left, sigh. They agree to decorate ornaments for Liz, who needs some kind of holiday event for the weekend.

I'm not taking a whole lot of notes on this because I'm eating dinner, but these two are really cute and I'm pretty fascinated by this dude's quiet snark. I like that sort of thing.
They go to a museum (her hypochondriac patient owns it) and they check out a landscape with cute little houses. Next clue: send a message of Christmas cheer to a stranger.

Dinner with his parents; "Why don't we put a pause on the embarrassing Christmas stories?" "That's the reason why I came here!" You'll never guess that they decide to send cards to people in the military, which morphs into a video.

They talk about what they wanted as kid: plane for him, horse for her. Well, really, none of that has changed. She claims to be interested in doing Doctors Without Borders someday, which somehow turns into him being all "she's leaving in a year." On a related note, HE later gets a job offer (late at night?) to join a disaster relief team on the other coast.

"I admit that we are getting along better than expected."
It's time for the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party!!!! I have to say that this movie is doing pretty damn good at the ugliness, so kudos. Sometimes the sweaters are...quieter...than they should be. You'd think Hallmark would have a giant warehouse of those things somewhere, right?

Every time they enter words into the codex thing, I keep having flashbacks to the Sherlock Holmes escape room. Man, I miss stuff like that.

Kevin has a video interview, very 2020. (Also very 2020: the job is for "California Disaster Relief.") He's wearing....well, I don't know what one would wear to interview for that kind of job, but it looks cozy sweater-y? Then he and she go off to donate toys. They have some clue about receiving, which leads Kate to think "Oh yeah, my hypochondriac client's wife died this year and he doesn't see the point in celebrating, so instead he magically develops chronic pains and spends way too much time on the Internet." She tells him to embrace Christmas instead and he politely tells her off on that topic--which, legit on forcing someone to embrace the holidays. But also, clearly DUDE NEEDS A HOBBY OR A DISTRACTION OR A SCAVENGER HUNT to get him off of WebMD. If it wasn't a bit third wheel/romance busting, I'd say to bring him along or give him a job to investigate or something. That said, he goes out to see the lights and feels better in the morning.

Kevin gets the job. Kate also gets a late night job offer phone call--a slot opened up for her in somewhere that I am guessing is not CA. Who the hell makes job offer calls at night?! Meanwhile the Rumor Mill gets around before K&K can mention their respective job offers to each other. "This is exactly why the two of you need to talk," says Liz. And speaking of, she overhears him talking to the job people and leaves right before he turns it down. I HATE "THE BIG MIS." It's so freaking old, it's older than dirt and I am tired of it. Confrontation and awkwardness and storming out the door ensues. Then later his mom tells her he didn't take the job.

HEY WAIT A MINUTE, DAD SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE SCAVENGER HUNT. "Your mother and I were so good at keeping secrets." He says that they had the same scavenger hunt thing happen for them when they were newly together. Aw, that's sweet. Speaking of: hey, remember how I said the hypochondriac guy needs something to do? Kate recruited him to loan out his uh....Christmas vehicle because Kevin always wanted to ride it. "Btw, my parents did the whole scavenger hunt." Both of them are turning down jobs. "My home is right here with you."

AWWWWWWWWWW that is so sweet even though you kinda barely know each other. But still, really cute. I like this movie. I have to say, if I had to hook up with a Hallmark dude, Kevin here is about as close to what I'd go for IRL--he's nice but has some edge/funny to him, even if I stopped writing down stuff much.

One Royal Holiday:

Welp, this is the first royal encounter I have ever seen at "Danny's Donuts," a roadside gas station, before. Anna gets a free cruller ("I don't accept free food from strangers...." well, that's legit in your case) and offers it to him, multiple times before getting him to accept it. Mom would love to have it. Apparently they taste like "Galwickian Yule Cakes." Anyway, the Galwickian royalty can't make the airport, so Anna offers her dad's inn an hour away from here. The driver won't take them there, so Anna offers a ride. "James" won't mention that they're royalty. Anna raves about the "Pajama Ball" her family puts on. When they arrive, they tell her dad they're royalty while Anna's in the house. Uh-HUH. "Oh, for goodness sake, James! Just tell her! She's going to find out soon enough!" Anna laughs upon hearing.

"What's in here, an anvil?" "No, it's the crown jewels." 'REALLY?" "No, it's just shoes." Royal Mom Gabriella is a delight.

James comes down looking for the "pillow menu." "But that's a great idea," her dad says. "I'm sure I can survive one night. "You're very brave!" says Anna. The mayor of the town (Anna's bestie) is over, recognizes them. "I picked them up at Donny's Donuts." The mayor is eyeing Christopher the security guard, and they both light up upon seeing each other. AWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I love how Gabriella is totally fine with dressing down and serving herself. "Before I met the king, I was a normal girl with a royal bloodline I didn't know about," she says. I AM INTRIGUED BY THIS BACKSTORY. Meanwhile, James has no idea on how to be around other people and can't dress down. Why do I get the feeling that James just....doesn't.... eat.... ever? Should we check him for anorexia? I think I'm concerned at how he's constantly being offered food and turning down food. I can certainly figure he won't eat the donut, but it is dinnertime. He eats on a tray later.

I'm amused at the green screen "we're snowed in!" door they just showed. The show notes that they will clean up Main Street and run a parade first before they can plow the way out of the inn. "I have always wondered what royal people do all day!" Anna says when James says he has work to do. "We have elaborate picnics," James says. "That almost sounded like an attempt at humor!" "Tell no one." Also, there's damage to the airport runway. (Really, James's "working" is trying to write a speech to "connect with the people.")

Um, if James's dad died last year, how is he not the king? "We're going to the parade." "Is that a order from the Queen?" "No, it's a request from your mum." Gabriella and the mayor also immediately hit it off. "Try being a single crown prince in his thirties," James grumbles. Prince Harry would love to have a word. As for why James has so much angst about writing a second speech, here's how the first one went: "I allowed my staff to post my speech on the Internet. Then I read the comments."

Good news, bad news: Good news, the royals can leave tomorrow. Bad news: there was a roof cave-in and the only place to throw the Pajama Ball is at the inn. Good news: Royals never get to deck a tree, so let's deck one! Bad news: trees blew down last night and took out the one bridge out of town! (James reasonably wonders at the logic of ONE WAY OUT OF TOWN. True dat.)

OH LOOK, JAMES NOW HAS THAT KNIVES OUT SWEATER. Christopher offered it to him.

We find out that Anna was in the same hospital as James's dad in the day when he was in a Boston hospital (they were visiting there/donating money originally), but never met him.

I'm amused that architecture translates into making gingerbread houses in these movies. "I minored in architecture," he says, having built an elaborate castle. The man has craft skills. I'm impressed since he doesn't seem like the sort to ah, ever use any.

Gabriella just made a Galwickian Yule Cake. "I emailed the royal chef." "You have ruined donuts for me ever," Anna says.

WOW, James is chipper this morning. My, there's black ice this morning? Very dangerous. Can't possibly risk the Queen.
Christopher and the Mayor did a romantic "security sweep" last night. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I don't see too much instalove in Hallmark, but here it is.

Anna obviously chickens out on telling James...whatever....well, obviously they both know anyway, but it's time for him to go home. They don't even say goodbye in person on the morning, OUCH. Gabriella tells Anna she'll always be family and the chef has been left a present in her room. "Well, that was a bummer," the Mayor says, but she's already gonna go to Galwick. Mayor knows what she wants ;) "I think that unexpected detour was the best thing that happened this year," mom says. "Nothing made me happier than seeing you fall in love." "That wasn't real life," James says (true) and she says "That's the most real you've ever been."

Back at home (awesome castle!), James finds a reference to a nurse called "AJ" in his dad's last speech and he's all "I know it was her." Wouldn't Anna have remembered him....?

I forgot to mention that the Pajama Ball is now a combo fancy ball (for adults) and pj (for kids), because that happened. James's speech is sent to Anna's phone. "I didn't need to prove myself. I just needed to open my heart." Awwwww. No need to fly to Galwick--somehow he's still here. "Which part did you like best?" "The part where you came back to be with me." Awwwww. Anna says she had an AJ on her nametag because there were 2 Anna's but thinks she would have remembered him.... James shows a photo and says "he didn't have a beard then." It was her, duh. "If you met my son, he would treat you like a princess." Ah, look, another Christmas waltz! They do a lovely job of dancing. Then he gets her "royal slippers" for Christmas. Okay, that last bit is anticlimactic.

It was all right? I'm weirdly kind of fond of Aaron Tveit and his cheekbones for...some reason... though frankly, he was hotter in this. This is notably The Hallmark That Could Get Broadway Stars This Year, hah.

Christmas in Love:

"I get to spend our busiest time of year training someone from Harvard how to puff pastry?" Good point. Ellie does her best to suck it up and be cheerful about the CEO's son being farmed out to her bakery, but everyone is annoyed, including her. Meanwhile, the boss's son thinks automation is everything. Poor bastard is being sent to Missouri.
OH DAMN SHE LITERALLY HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH HER CAR. "These are my favorite shoes, they're Italian." "The ice doesn't care."

Anyway, Ellie is polite but leads Nick The Corporate around, rubbing in everyone's love of "Kringles" (what is this baked good? Still not sure.) and how corporate donated to the food bank and how everyone in this town sticks up for each other, and she also disses Nick when he mentions automation.

Hmmm, Nick appears to be using a fake last name. "Maybe pretty good is all we can ask for," Ellie says about her job. She generally seems to like her work, but...y'know....I dunno.... Okay, making wreaths (her hobby) and crafting is what she wishes she could do. I HEAR YA, GIRL. I should mention that Ellie loves SF (where Nick lives) and applied for an HR job there and didn't get it. She is politely still disappointed. Ellie raves that the CEO (Nick's dad) spent a month here and learned all the aspects of the job--everybody does it--and he's still reluctant. Take a hint, Nick, so he learns to get die hard about the icing and secretly donate to the food bank.. Ellie stays in her job because it's safe and generally happy, Nick tells her it's okay to want more. Nick keeps encouraging her to do a craft business and Ellie isn't quite all "what, and give up my health insurance?" but it's pretty close. Ellie, I've had that conversation with soooooo many people.

I really haven't felt like paying attention to the whole "Ellie's ex keeps hanging around" plot, but now he wants to date her best friend. Everyone is kewl with that!
Hot Mountie is a very affectionate, sensual kisser, AND they did that not at the very end of the show (1 hour 30 min in)! That's very hot.
OH SHIT MY DAD JUST SHOWED UP!!!!!! Nick thinks. They have a nice conversation later about how automation is not the way.

Oh, yes, this is where I walked in on trying to catch this movie years ago: Ellie goes into Nick's cabin to drop off a wreath, snoops on his computer, and finds....AUTOMATION PLANS. And Nick's real last name. Most women would just find porn.

Oh shiitttt, Nick goes back to his cabin and figures it out. Ellie's family kicks him out.
Nick has to make a speech: YEAR ROUND KRINGLES! This is how we evolve! We hire more people! This is such a fantasy and I am down with it. They agree to spend New Year's in SF and she agrees to quit her job so she can date the not-her-boss. This movie has three kisses, which is downright tawdry for Hallmark. Score for them!

A Godwink Christmas: Second Chance, First Love.

I almost skipped watching this, except the magic word "Hawaii" is mentioned in the description. This show probably has jack squat to do with Hawaii because Hallmark hates Hawaii, but am I gonna watch it like a sucker because it's expiring in 22 hours? That too! Also, "inspired by a true story" kind of suckers me in. (I looked it up. Here you go.)

Sure 'nuff, this is in...Boise. Dude, don't tell your kids Idaho is 'tropical." They are gonna know better. "I have a curse when it comes to jewelry, it just falls off my body," our hot lead girl says. Been there, done that many times, girl. Anyway, she's Margie, a regional vice president of some company, and she and her boyfriend Scott (JESUS CHRIST, UNIVERSE, I know I probably asked for it watching a "godwink" movie, but still!) are somehow assigned to work together at work after being in a secret LDR (I think). They're very happy about that, until (and this is the "godwink" part of the whole thing) Pat and Margie run into each other while out driving, and he finds the charm she lost in his car at prom 17 years ago. They agree to meet for coffee "after the New Year." Call it a hunch it may be a bit sooner. That's a rather intimate tree decorating moment they have there.

Anyway, poor Hallmark Scott (sigh) is getting a job offer out of state and he wonders if they'd have a future or be "really good at long distance" if he takes it. I forgot to mention that Pat had some kind of adventure tour business he sold to TripTik, was going to take some other job, then that fell through, so he's moved to Idaho in December (something even the movie comments on) for nothing. Margie's .... I dunno, friend, thinks Margie hasn't found the right one yet. And maybe she dates a lot of coworkers, I'm not sure. Margie loses MORE jewelry in the snow while hauling large gifts over to Pat's mom's house.

Someone explain to me how “working in national retail” helped her find their lost ornaments from Hawaii? Like is she in the shipping department? Pat is about to settle for a non-adventure job if he can get it. Pat’s ex-wife calls and Margie leaves, feeling awkward and out of place. “We’re just catching up.” “Aren’t we?” Margie thinks all of this is awkward. He wonders what would have happened had he never gone to Hawaii (no kids, uh....).

Bad news at work: Margie overhears an awkward phone call at work that doesn’t sound good, and then Scott says there’s no promotion in Indy--could they be training him to take her job? AWKWARD.

Good news FOR work: Pat runs into another Pat who knows his family and does something...adventure-y.... But can I relocate my boys again to Seattle? Uh, you barely just moved here, so why not? School hasn’t even started yet. Pat’s mom thinks the Pats meeting is a godwink. “You always seem to end up in the same place at the same time,” after 17 years. “People who are meant to be together are put into each other’s paths,” she says, and Pat comments that they may also be pulled apart. Speaking of godwinks, guess who needs to go shopping for Christmas presents? Guess who works in a store?

Later, the ex-wife shows up. And she’s met someone.
And “your charms are following me everywhere.” I just never expected you back...

Scott, what a sweetie: he’ll look for another job so as not to displace her. And he’s gonna get broken up with for that. It’s another Bill Pullman breakup.
Pat could get a job in Seattle! The kids agree that they certainly have not settled down in Boise yet.

As Pat and Margie run into each other YET AGAIN, his mom and her friend are both all, this is meant to be. Well, y’know, except for the new job in Seattle. Maybe Seattle is the godwink, says Margie. Pat returns her lost earring. “I’ve been finding you everywhere.” Margie leaves, and Pat talks Grandma into also moving to Seattle.

Scott is going to get Margie’s job and a promotion...but....they’re offering her a promotion too! GUESS WHERE THAT JOB IS LOCATED? EVERYBODY MOVES TO SEATTLE!!!!! “If a godwink lands in your lap over and over again, you’re supposed to follow it.” “We’re supposed to be together!” They both got each other snowmen for Christmas.
We’re told that the real Godfreys still live in Seattle and are happy together.

Would that this would happen to me someday.

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry
hosted by