Chaos Attraction

Musical Improv Week 5: She Said Sausage, Let's Do It!

2016-12-16, 9:18 p.m.

Previous week here.

After the work drama, I had arranged to leave work an hour early this time too. It was predicted for a week that on this day we’d have some kind of Storm of the Century and FLOODING, so I figured it’d be bad enough I needed to drive in daylight. Actually, the traffic wasn’t nearly as bad for once--either everyone went home or they didn’t want to go out--but my car did spring a leak again. Gah. Slight one though.

Anyway...we found out that oh, btw, our class performance is on Saturday night. I tried arguing to have it postponed and everyone else shouted me down (and I got a bit of crap for considering not going). Grrr. I should probably explain that I was planning on going to Dickens Fair this weekend and Mom was going to be pissed at me for saying “oh, sorry, can’t go until Sunday.” Though since I don’t have to go to work next week (I AM DONE WITH WORK FOR 2016, DID I MENTION THAT?! I’M FREEEEEEE FOR SEVENTEEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!) , I don’t have to drive back home after that. Whee!

Anyway...Lincoln started out the class by being all, “Maybe I should just sing all of the lectures...Even if you feel like you sucks, pretend like you don’t...” Don’t apologize or stop, just keep going. Also, “If you can’t sing, sing louder” sums up all 5 weeks of class.

Lincoln said that the show is going to be entirely singing games, but he was introducing two new ones tonight--so uh, not a lot of practice, eh? One is called “Three Headed Pop Star,” in which a group of people sing one word at a time about someone in the audience who’s given them some facts about themselves. The other game is “My Musical,” in which someone comes up with some random title of something and then acts it out. There will also be more Gibberish Opera, Sing It, and That’s Not A Musical. And...there’s the entire show.

The “three headed pop star” thing was kind of awkward. I don’t think the group singing about “Dave” really came up with much, my group at least managed to come up with some stuff about “Yolanda” eating cupcakes.

As for My Musical, he made the first group go through several scenes: something about being able to do anything you want at summer camp, different types of people in a band, how Casey is such a bitch, and “she said sausage, let’s do it!”

In the group I was in, we ended up singing about a guy using a chainsaw to cut his hair, zebras driving a Zamboni (I played a hockey player being hit by it), Nancy got lost and we should call a detective to find her, and LG vs. Samsung having a phone war. Sample lyric: “My phone’s not exploding.”

He talked a bit about not trying to be funny and doing the first thing you think about, and talked again about last week’s “Tracy doesn’t get cut off” catching on. The girl who played Tracy was all, “I still have nightmares about that.”

Then we went on to Sing It. Boy, did I not do well in that one because the topic was about people in a cycling class trying to burn off baby weight and hoo boy, did I have no ideas about that whatsoever. It ended with Lincoln saying, “I don’t know how to heighten after eating placenta.” You don’t want to know.

I wished I’d ended up in the other group, because they did a scene on an island--either Hawaii or Jamaica, oh, you know those islands combined in 2030... This turned into some kind of spying thing and spiking drinks, with the following lyrics I wrote down:
“I wear a skirt, but I say mon.”
“You just sang a song about it!” (regarding the island combination)
“This is a beautiful island, why would I be a spy?”
Lincoln: “I can’t understand what words you are singing right now, but sing it! Showstopping number!”

He had us try doing Gibberish Opera with all nine of us on stage, which did not go so well when he decided we should act out The Tortoise and the Hare...which has a small cast. It turned into some kind of double crossing murder plot.

We ended the night with That’s Not A Musical! My group did Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, which turned into two Jedi befriending a forest creature, getting thirsty and deciding to go over to the creature’s house, and then discovering that “Darth Drunk” was over there drinking all the drinks. I slaughtered him without mercy and then we decided to have the forest creature join the Jedi, where we have a well stocked break room. Lincoln was offended that we had the Jedi drinking alcohol.

The second group did Toy Story, which turned into “Andy’s parents are getting a divorce and Andy’s dad got him a life size girl doll that goes under his bed.” (Amusingly, one guy did not figure out the RealDoll implications of this.) I have to say, the girl playing the doll did an amazing job of having a gasping expression, making the other toys wonder why she could never close her mouth. But “we’re very liberal toys.” In the end, it ended with very chaste dancing between Andy and the doll. Lincoln said he appreciated that it didn’t go to the point of fucking the doll, he just danced with her. “Everyone had a turn, you could say...” the girl playing the doll said.

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