Chaos Attraction

Trash Angel

2020-12-17, 8:10 p.m.

I had to go to Kaiser to get a shot today. I am happy to say that it went uneventfully: wasn't raining, I was out of there in 20 minutes, hardly any people around, huzzah. I still can't see for shit with glasses and a mask on in winter though, even indoors it steams up now (sigh). I was going to wear my new Christmas mask, but it's got a funny head tie behind it (one string that weaves through the top and out the sides--a style I loved in summer....) and that isn't working so well for the glasses steam issue. Grrr.

At work, I mentioned that I have been throwing weird ingredients into omelets (ramen, potato chips) and Grandboss thought I said I put rum in omelets. I said she gave me a good idea for vacation ;) (If I had rum anyway, which I do not, sigh.) We also discovered that Adventure Girl is 24 years old and wears elastic waist jeans, which is a very smart thing to do in 2020.

Other than that, my Outlook email at work refused to work today and the webmail refused to work for half the day, so that was fun. The tech tried messing with it for an hour and got nowhere, so it has to "escalate." That was my day. At least I got through my pile o' crap by 5. As they say in Les Mis: ONE DAY MORE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still waiting on scheduling for the three-time-zones, international collage online crafting party. It's definitely not happening Saturday, so I signed up for that boundaries workshop (I look forward to Florie's opinion on bulldozer types like my mom). However, looks like it's being rescheduled to Sunday at 11 a.m.....which may hamper any plans to go drop off a present that day at Scott's family store. On the other hand, I'm going to have two weeks off so I could just go to THE store whenever the hell I want to, I suppose. Or just go really fast, run in, drop the bag, get my cross stitch fabric and get out of there by 10:30, which might be better for my own safety these days to not linger :( Or get my hopes up for more. But that said, I probably shouldn't assume I can get out of there quickly. Also, while I am nearly done with his present, I want to make my own dragon and photograph them together, so giving myself more time could help with that.

Tonight I watched a storytelling show called "The Antidote," which I saw in October before Charlotte's Web, anyway.

Deanna, the host, told a story about her boyfriend of 14 years supposedly moving with her, then jaunting off to Europe for 3 weeks, claiming he got her a cactus that was confiscated by customs when he got back (did he REALLY get anything, I say. Others said he must have picked that up in the airport and "'cuz nothing says Europe like a cactus"), and then no, he doesn't want to be here, he just fell in love with someone else. And she guessed who. Ughhhhhh. Happily, she's fine with it because he and she are living a life she would not be into, and played "thank u, next." I like her, but her ex is a tool.

It was clearly a "stories of Chicago" night. The first one involved sports so heck if I know. The second one was a couple going to stay in the woods in Ohio for Christmas, getting high on strong pot, and then seeing a group of people out in the woods with torches and pitchforks and FREAKING OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, as you would. The third one was about a guy realizing that his dad probably should not be driving when he's going 25-40 mph on the freeway....

Tonight's Hallmark:

Christmas Town: there's a Candace Cameron Bure I haven't seen before. It starts out with Lauren getting a job, moving, and DUMPING HER BOYFRIEND VIA LETTER IN THE MAILBOX. This last bit is thwarted when he actually shows up, forcing her to actually use words in person to tell him. Like I know she said he's been hard to get ahold of lately, but JEEBUS. "I shipped all my stuff there, I got a new apartment..." "That's RASH." "It really isn't. Not if you'd been paying attention." Look, I'm not happy about a disappearing abandon-y boyfriend either, but that's COLD. She'd rather take the train for hours than be with that dude.

Speaking of: I've been on Amtrak a ton of times, and never before have I seen Amtrak just boot everyone off the train and be all "We're having you stay at some charming little inn overnight, because something came up." Grandon Falls is "Christmas Town." She meets Travis, a foster parent. Despite being told by the conductor about vouchers and the inn.... "There are no rooms at the inn." "That's thematically on point."

She ends up staying in a shopkeeper's attic. While in a shop, she spots a photo of her dad. "Grandon Falls has a way of making miracles happen." She asks the shopkeeper if he has the broken angel her dad got there. Lauren decides to stay a few more days...I never would have guessed! Lauren hangs around the cookie shop and somehow instantly gets a job(?) and bonds with the foster kid, since she was one too.

Someone got a box of $5 worth of crap. "What do you think?" "I think the seventies are calling back on that one." Oh, look, there's that angel of Lauren's AND IT'S ABOUT TO GO IN THE TRASH.... OH NOOOOOOES THE ANGEL TRASH!!!! (I feel like that's the reaction I'm supposed to have here, but I live in a college town so I assume someone will just pick it up.)

Anyway, forget about that, Lauren goes out and gets and decks a tree with Travis and the foster kid, wants to suddenly stay a few weeks and run a charity drive, blah de blah.
Wait, I thought her ex was most harshly dumped out of this story, but no, he's back and on the phone! He read her letter! He's not ready for kids yet! He'll write her another letter...and presumably come to Grandon Falls. Um, what, am I supposed to care about her ex? I assume we are supposed to want her to be with the foster dad, so why are we doing this?


Honestly, this one is kinda slow on plot and boring me. There is foster child angst. Lauren vaguely considering moving there (oh, I'm sure she will). Presumably she and Travis are gonna adopt the kid. Not a lot of humor in this one. It's....sleepy. Lord knows Candace Cameron Bure is doing her best to bring the cheer and sparkle, but usually she gets more interesting plots than this (magic, time travel, Santa's village, twin swapping). And let's face it, a movie throwing in any of that shit will probably get me to watch it. Alas, for this one, the plot is only 'hang out in cute town." Which, well, virtually all Hallmark movies do that, but there's usually more to the plot than that. Ah well, whatever.

Uh, how did Lauren magically get a job opening and an interview within an hour for a teaching job?! Oh, right, this town grants miracles. "You did something, didn't you...." Also, what happened at any school to have an opening in January? Just as I write that, Gloria's retiring. Oh yeah, and she wants to adopt the kid. She's specifically told to NOT TELL ANYONE (and to her credit, she doesn't), but Travis the foster dad guesses after he gets a phone call that someone's interested. He's all "you've known him for two weeks, isn't this kinda soon?" She argues that sometimes you just know. How romantic! I actually really admire her argument about how she knows what it's like when no one will stand up for you.

Oh. The ex is here. I'm supposed to care? I don't. The kid breaks out that broken angel and prays on it. I will also note that Christmas miracles aside, a friend of mine has been trying to adopt a kid (albeit internationally, which of course these days is...terrible) and uh...I'm gonna take a wild guess that clearing Lauren for adoption doesn't go that fast. This note says that due to the holidays and the kid's age, it happened a lot faster. HMMMMMMMMM.

"I'd like to be a part of this family too," says Travis. Then the kid gives her the TRASH ANGEL. She cries with joy. AND THEN IT MAGICALLY GLOWS once it (a) gets a wing glued on and (b) is on top of the tree. The end.

Five Star Christmas:

Here is the plot of the movie in a few quotes:

“I know it’s a shock seeing our home turned into a bed n’ breakfast.”
“You’re a park ranger, what do you know about a bed ‘n breakfast?”
“Do you have a website?” “What’s a domain name?”
“Bea Turner,” a BnB reviewer who reportedly works under a false name, is “in the area.” “We can pretend to be your guests!” say the four kids who had this sprung upon them.
“The odds are very slim.”
Then Beth Thompson (or “Beth Thompson?”) randomly shows up with a flat tire and hey, look, here’s a bed and breakfast, mind if I randomly stay here? “Maybe it’s just a coincidence.” Also she takes a lot of photos.
Jesus H. Christ, this family is terrible at acting as guests/workers/whatever.

Meet Jake Finley (or “Jake Finley?”), the movie’s leading man. He’s here for a geology survey. Or "geology survey."
Meet Grandma, who like everyone else was not warned about this, but doesn’t want to miss out on the acting experience. She immediately turns into a semi-vampiric grande dame.
Anyway: this is pretty predictable, Jake is secretly “Bea” (gee, never would have guessed), he and the lead girl hang around and chat a lot, one of the relatives gets pregnant, another one doesn’t know what to do with her life but she sure likes cooking.

I will note that Lucy is the only one who everyone at the inn knows is the innkeeper’s kid, which bums everyone out when she tells them they can’t go to the festival because they’ll be recognized as who they actually are. The brother and his wife decide they’re gonna go anyway (uh-HUH). Jake overhears her call her relatives by their names and Lucy fesses up that “Bea Turner” is in town and the family is impersonating, and please play along. Jake claims to have never heard of Bea. As for the rest of it, that explains a lot. I’m going to point out that Grandpa is so inconspicuous that he entered the Ugly Sweater Contest. And won.

Dear Jake: are you dumb enough to leave your laptop on to your “Bea Turner” review in your room? Yes, apparently you are. Lucy chews him out and he leaves.

Beth took all these photos because she wants to remodel. She is surprised to hear what people thought.
Dad confesses his admiration for Beth and wants her to stay longer. She will cancel on another boring Christmas with her cousins for that!
Jake gets Lucy back by singing “Blue Christmas” and singing/dancing with her in the street. That was random but cute. Also, his review was lovely. was okay....I guess....

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