Chaos Attraction

Office Toy Melodrama

2004-12-18, 1103398499

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Once upon a time, I had some office toys.

I had "Mr. Right When You Want Him", parked on the left side of my desk.

I also had "Crazy Cat Lady", parked on the right side.

Ironically, the same person gave me both toys. Yet never the twain could
met across the long expanse of my desk.

One day I thought, "Isn't it sad that they will never meet?", and thus, a
story was born.

Meet Crazy Cat Lady. And her eight cats.

She has so many cats, they don't even fit in her house any more.

Her house has a lot of litterboxes.

Her friends were worried about her. They decided to do something about it.
They found a number in a newspaper ad saying "Perfect Man!" and wrote to it, enclosing $5.99.

And a week later, some aliens showed up in Crazy Cat Lady's backyard.

With them was Mr. Right. (You knew he couldn't be from THIS planet, right?) They sent him in.

Crazy Cat Lady's cats circled her in a protective circle, so he waited politely on the fringe. Noting the slippers on her feet, he asked, "May I take you shoe shopping?"

Crazy Cat Lady was baffled. What was this strange being on her lawn, saying, "I could listen to you talk all night?"

One of the cats got up the nerve to approach. Mr. Right complimented him on his weight loss.

While flattered by the compliment, the cat still wasn't pleased. "We don't
need you," he hissed. "We can take care of her on our own!"

And sure enough, the cats then went on to fend off an invading horde of devil duckies that had stowed away on the alien spaceship.

Mr. Right apologized for the devil duckies, and said that the cats could defend their mistress very well indeed without his help.

The cats were flattered, and finally let him through and into the circle.

And they all lived happily ever after together.

At least until the smell of kitty doody made everyone pass out.

The End.

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