Mistletoe in Montana
2021-12-20, 10:36 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Today's Lifetime: "Mistletoe in Montana." The ads for this have been ridiculous bad and I'm up too early this morning, so here we go. Melissa Joan Hart is looking lovely and fancy as a rancher. Some guy is coming to the ranch with his kids AND HIS NANNY, which is BRINGING OUT THE SNARK with some guy named Jasper at the ranch. He starts bitching that the kids are probably spoiled rotten, picky about the food, and dad's "not gonna be single for long" if he has a nanny. Mary (MJH) is all, "Jasper! Don't make assumptions!...okay, that's probably true, but not any of our business."
The nanny, Debbie, gets out of the car and JASPER INSTANTLY FALLS IN LOVE. It appears to be mutual insta-love. I note that the kids seem a bit old to have a nanny. The teenage daughter in particular is distressed at the lack of Internet (it's only in the office). "It's not a burn, I love Survivor, I just never thought we 'd be living in it someday."
I note that the dad is an African-British software designer who wanted to go to a ranch in Montana. I am completely and utterly baffled as to his life decisions, ESPECIALLY when he says about ranch life, "It's just a bunch of yeehaws and giddyups." This is the the immortally bad line from the trailer and I can't help but think, if you think this about cowboys, why are you paying to hang out with them? She then shoots back that for him, a work emergency must be a paper cut or a jammed shredder. LOL. Later, he says he went here as a kid and pulls out a photo of himself and Mary and their moms. "You put the slick in city slicker. Did they teach you subterfuge in engineering school?"
"Does the stable always smell like this?" says teenager Becca. "Yes." Everyone bitches Becca up for not being awake at 6 a.m. to eat breakfast. I am so tired of the tyranny of the early birds, y'all. She also forgot to pack her phone charger and when someone hands her an old camera, is all "How am I supposed to take selfies with this?" "You don't." Dad continues to stick his foot in his mouth a lot and also wants to work on the Internet. However, he's a total showoff at archery--"I was on the archery team in college."
Jasper fishes to find out if the nanny is single. She is! "You're funny," she says. I'm amused at her green tinsel sweater.
Mary reiterates she'll NEVER leave this ranch for her entire life. So, no LDR then?
There is a Raccoon Incident. Ridiculous piggybacking ensues. "You've gone toe to toe with a maneating bear, but a raccoon petrifies you?!?" "There was a Raccoon Incident when I was a little girl."
Becca is introduced to the work of Ansel Adams, who did (a) not sing backup for Dua Lipa or (b) use filters on his photos. Becca's whole plotline is now "don't take selfies." But by the end, she is all, "I know this sounds crazy coming from me, but I don't miss taking selfies."
Anyway, the usual vague romance, the usual "but I'm going back to LA so this can never happen!" stuff, then everyone else refuses to go home. Everyone agrees to move (again, kids not missing their friends?) to Montana and um, I guess they're gonna need to upgrade the wifi.... Also, Jasper and the nanny got married, so that's cute. Merry and the dad are engaged at the end too.
Today was the last collage club meeting (note: have been having twice monthly meetings online about manifestation...I have not done so well as everyone else has and have been struggling and having problems.). Meg was all "I don't want to talk about doing another one, let's just say goodbye to this," and frankly I think she wants it over with. Most likely because of me being a downer, since I think I've managed to yuck her yum big time and not wanting to meditate, i.e. "imagine yourself giving yourself advice." I hit my limit on that when everything I thought was wrong and everything I believed and told myself was wrong. Anyway, they wanted to share inspirational poems and did more vision boards and frankly, I didn't do anything. Pretty much because of play--the only thing I'm doing any more in manifesting is that. Also I am not into poetry in general, and not into inspirational poetry in particular. I'm a Dorothy Parker girl if I read poems at all. So....yeah. I feel like "the bad one" these days. It's probably better that it ends, or they continue without me being involved. Sigh.
I went to the theater before and after that and did more painting all day. Stairs, tables, walls. I'm exhausted (typing this on dinner break) and am SOOOOOOOOOO HUNGRY I CAN'T STOP EATING OR GET SATISFIED. And we have to do 3 hours of dance rehearsal tonight?!?! Seriously can't even right now, because the stage is covered in large sets/furniture. Even if the paint's dry by the time I get back, that's a lot of shit to clean up. I feel bad that it's 6:30 (I left around 5) and I haven't gone back yet, BUT I CAN'T STOP BEING TIRED AND HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. I want to collapse into bed.
Update, 10:15. SO. DEAD TIRED. Rehearsed the second half (chorus half) of Springtime For Hitler, which is mostly goosestepping and marching in a giant swastika. Am so tired. Am so very, very tired. Talked to Scott briefly afterwards--he's getting his booster Wednesday, whew. Also, Jean (costumes) tried a hat on him today and he said he was a size 7 1/2, which I had to go look up on my phone and go "aw fuck, I might have made his too small." Fuck, I may have to redo it tomorrow.
I am too tired to do anything else but go to bed tonight.