Chaos Attraction

Santaland Diaries

2012-12-21, 7:43 p.m.

Okay....somehow I have two day entries when I only need one.... so what happened on December 20th and 21st are getting combined together in this 2-part makeup entry.

Thursday was a busy day. First off, I got my hair highlighted all over with somewhat blonder highlights. I always think of myself as a dark blonde, but in the last few days I have been all, "Damn, my hair really looks more brown now that it's short." The folks at the hair salon all said they like my natural color, though--go figure. But with the highlights, it now looks like the color of hair I think I have--brown-blonde. Very nice. It ended up taking 2 hours to do (most of the last hour was just sitting around). This was kind of awkward because Mom wanted to go to her office Christmas brunch, which we ended up being late to. Mom also got her roots done, but that took less time.

Anyway, I was going to go back home (and uh, make a present with supplies I got on Monday and have not had time or space to do since), but since we were too late already, that didn't happen. Also, Mom's bosses had to move the location of the party to two towns over. So we went over there and Mom dropped me off at the nearest bookstore down the street, where of course I had a good time.

Mom has been curling my hair the last few days. Today it got blown dry VERY straight, which is probably driving her nuts to see. Oh well.

We briefly went over to Mom's friend English Pat's house (she knows a lot of Pats) to taste some kind of booze cake. I wanted to see her adorable corgi, Lili, who we housesat for over the summer. But Lili kept barking pretty much all the time we were in there, wanting to go outside and play with the hose. At one point Pat turned on the hose and left it sitting there, rather than waving it around like Lili wanted. She wasn't happy with that either!

After some errandy crap and dinner, we went with Mauricio to see a double header of Lincoln and (once again, previously reviewed, still adorable) Wreck-It Ralph. I'm putting the review of Lincoln over here on a second page, so if you're interested, there you go.

As for Friday....Happy apocalypse day! If you're reading this, we're all still here! Darn it!

Here is my hair dyed and curled again, for the record:

Today after doing airport dropoff #1 for another one of Mom's friends named Pat, we eventually went back to San Francisco again for another play--"The Santaland Diaries," a one-man show based off of David Sedaris's essay. The rain was horrendous that night, and there was a lot of bridge traffic going slowly. Thank goodness for that, I normally would be quite glad to be in a car going over there. I hate to be a cliched hippie that goes on about the "vibes" of a place, but I swear, just breathing the air on the streets of SF gives me crazy vibes. I feel like I'm walking around in a sea of chaos, where anything bad could erupt at any time. There are a couple of places where I feel slightly less nuts--Union Square and Pier 39--but in general I am wigged out as all hell breathing the air on the streets. And me being in a car means I spend less time on the streets feeling terrified. But this time the traffic was so packed and nuts that I didn't even feel safe in the car.

We left early due to the traffic, but still ended up there early with several hours to kill before the show. The theater's website said there was little to no parking other than in a garage due to their being so many great restaurants in the area. We found two very expensive ones and a Togo's. We ate at the Togo's, which let us sit there until the theater opened. The dude that ran it was nice.

The show was almost entirely packed for a small theater, and was very noisy. And there were a lot of gay guys there who, can I put this? What with various pairs of couples looking very alike, I couldn't tell if they were boyfriends or father and son. And really, wouldn't that be horrendously awkward to have to ask? It started 15 minutes late, which was getting on Mom's nerves because the parking garage closed at 10. Unlike me, Mom doesn't bring stuff to entertain herself while waiting for things, so it was awkward.

As for the show... it's a more acted out version of the essay, with sets (and of course half the lights on stage were out), and of course, a green velvet elf costume, The piece is about working as an elf at Macy's. Speaking as someone who's seen Sedaris live 4 times, the fellow did the voices--deadpan horror, perky elf, Billie Holiday--very well. There are a few added bits here and there, like elaborate costume description, a bored Macy's announcer voice, stuff like that-- which fit in with the original material. And this dude could bug out his eyes in horror or craziness amazingly. It reminded me of a quote I heard about how if you can see the whites above and below the eyes--watch out! I thought it was very well done and funny, but Mom didn't seem to be as into it.

We got out at 9:25, which was a good thing. But...when we got back to the parking garage (which was supposed to remain open till 10), it was all locked up. We probably wandered around for 20 minutes trying to find an open entrance. Which we eventually found, and eventually found the car, which was harder to find when we couldn't get to the area the car was in too easily now. But we made it out before they closed, at least. Mom was all, "I was so scared," and I was all, "See, that's how I usually feel in this city."

Then it was pouring rain as we got on the bridge--very scarily. When we were driving on the lower level of it, it was so rainy that Mom was using the windshield wipers. For those who haven't been on the bridge, there is enough covering up top that it should not be raining indoors. But it really got scary once we got off the bridge, I'm surprised we didn't hydroplane.

I was ready to go home, but Mom was not-- she hates being home-- and she insisted on going to Kohl's, which was open until midnight. Not a lot of people there at that time, mind you. She kept asking me what so-and-so would want, but after 11 p.m. I didn't give a shit about any of it and just wanted to go home and sleep already. She didn't leave until 11:50.

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