Chaos Attraction

Lifetime Christmas Movies And Murder Drama

2022-12-23, 1:15 p.m.

I have inflated the Baby Yoda and he is adorable in this hotel room, fits right by the kitchen.

Friday morning: Slept until 9:30, at which point Mom woke me up insisting that we get breakfast. I do admit it was a nice spread here: waffle maker, yogurt, bagels/bread/spreads, breakfast sandwiches and bowls of eggs. I had to learn how to make waffles for her (oy) and she insisted on me eating...something, as usual. Then we read books in the lobby for awhile, then she went back to sleep in the room. Then she got a phone call, put it on speaker, and I got to hear about colonoscopies, diverticulitis and tooth-losing. *facepalm* It's Festivus, here's my grievance....

OH LORD THIS JUST GOT MORE INTERESTING THAN GORY STUFF. A while back my mom told me about some guy she knows who got assaulted by a jerky hick guy I went to high school with. Like the high school guy was kind of a dumb tool back in the day, but in a comedy sort of way. Like I wouldn't have gone to "tries to mow someone over with a car." Well, apparently that's the guy she's on the phone with and he's in some kind of appraiser/war with the family. Also, apparently HS guy's grandpa murdered his grandma and Mom thinks some other relative killed himself because he was tired of HS guy harassing him over his will. OH GOOD LORD.

I'd better wind this up, Mom is starting to make noises about leaving for the day and I doubt I'll make 9 p.m. deadline otherwise. I do NOT want to go to Hoarder House for hours and get into a fight, but that's inevitable.

Since there's no Hallmark Channel here, you get Lifetime movies that I saw last night:

A Country Christmas Harmony:

Alas, I am now forced to review some Lifetime movies, which don't quite have the same kinda quirk as Hallmark. I found myself watching A Country Christmas Harmony, which is your typical "kinda failed musician goes back to her hometown and her ex" movie. The one thing notable about it is that the heroine is plus sized, but she still gets hottie exes (girl clearly has A Type), so good for her. Otherwise it's same old, same old kind of thing, though I do think the "Sweet Sixteen Christmas" song about their teen love was pretty good and I appreciated that she made sure her assistant got to see his husband for the holidays.

Notable quirks:
(a) her other ex is "Brad Love," who wears his name in a heart on his hat and says his name is his brand. He's in this movie for maybe a few minutes.
(b) At one point our heroine goes to bang on the 10-year-old nephew's window, and he's all, why didn't you just use a phone? "You have a cellphone?" "Every 10-year-old has a cellphone." "Wow. A lot to unpack right now."

Cloudy With A Chance of Christmas:

features a morning show team going to Leavenworth, WA (a place I've been to, one of those German-themed towns, very cute) for a week. Our cast is Drake (same actor as in the last movie), the local boy/anchor, his partner Tatum (who has an unreciprocated thing for him), Bridget the weather forecaster (our heroine), nice boss lady Lisa, and her husband whose name I forgot, I think he's the camera guy. Drake has a crush on Bridget, but she hates him because she lost out on the anchor job and thinks it's his fault (frankly, I'm confused as to whether or not it was, but Drake was apparently fine with it not happening so as to not have the current ABC news team drama going on, I guess). Tatum keeps trying, Drake isn't caring. Bridget and Drake are doing more filming together, and it's obvious to everyone that hormones are going on. Tatum writes a script in which she and Drake talk and then Bridget has fake snow dumped on her, and there's this whole thing about how Bridget just wants to acknowledge it's fake snow.

I will note that Tatum at one point says to Drake, "I asked you to dinner but somehow you never had time to go with me, but you had time to go with Bridget?" and Drake actually apologizes and asks her to breakfast later. You see? Even if he's not into her romantically, if he blows her off, he can be called out on it, apologize, and then eat with her later. ISN'T IT NICE THAT SOMEONE COULD DO THAT. (Though I note that after she's being a bit shitty later he no longer wants to.)

Anyway, everyone makes up and apologizes for their behavior, Bridget gets offered her own show, she makes out with Drake, the end. I declare it "well, more interesting than the other movie that guy was in previously." Mom also wants Bridget's wardrobe.

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