Chaos Attraction

A Baby Yoda Christmas Day

2020-12-25, 8:22 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Vacation Day 7:
Hours of sleep: at least 10, huzzah, catching up from yesterday when I went to bed at 8ish (sheesh).
Exercise: yeah, gonna skip it again today, bugger it, can do tomorrow. Most of us do not exercise on that day anyway.
Patchwork sweater: Did more blocking.
Butterfly sweater: Only noodled on this a bit.
1000 Piece Baby Yoda: Let me tell you what this box has just opening it:
(a) 8 separate bags of Legos--thankfully it divides the project into sections per each bag.
(b) An entire book of instructions, 162 pages!
Section 1: appears to be the inner base of the thing.
Section 2: one side of the coat.
Section 3: another side of the coat.
Section 4: a third side of the coat, which is what I am on now as I close up this entry. The instructions are fairly clear, (though I think a few pieces went missing), but it's very...stacked on top of each other a lot.

Other Activities:
I got a very lovely Christmas haul that I am quite happy with! I already opened Scott's, but here's the rest:
* Wine tumbler from Dianna--I opened it today and it's iridescent! I wasn't sure what this was exactly other than some kind of wine glass, but it has a sippy cup at the top. HAHAHAHAH ALCOHOL SIPPY CUP!
* Jackie: dreamcatcher earrings, bath bomb, flower press, roll of toilet paper (yup, she went there), Baby Yoda mug and cereal box!
* My cousin Alicia: a Baby Yoda mug and stationary kit. (Literally, a Baby Yoda Christmas.)
* My cousin Linda: giant craft bag with tons of pocketses.
* Cameron: balm and RAINBOW YARN called "Love is Love."
* Mom: disco bling earrings, several shirts, a little stuffed dog, the books I asked for, a back pillow, and several interesting tech gadgets:

* A face massager...this is a thing, I guess?
* A "Xooper Boy" which is...a pink, sequinned...speaker...thing? I'm really not sure. We'll see how it goes after it charges.
* A smart watch for the Samsung Galaxy phone. I'm quite psyched about this, we'll see how that goes after it charges too. (Everything is charging here.)
* A robot cat.

Yes, I did get a robot cat, like they get for old people. I know it's ridiculous, like "why don't you get a real cat?" (Answer: (a) if I can ever go back to my "real life" again I probably won't be home much again, (b) I am nervous about being a single pet parent and have always had a backup around when I had pets before. You read an article about "how to give my cat an enema alone...." and uh, 'nuff said.) But seriously, it's great. It mews but you can turn off the mews, it PURRS AND PURRS AND PURRS, it blinks, it holds up its paw, it's totally cute and yet well-behaved. (And even sheds a little. It comes with a brush.) It's ridiculous how much I was enjoying petting it while it purred. Especially this year, you know?

Today I decided to try to cook the rice from yesterday... It was supposed to cook on medium heat, so I turned it on to level 6 and it started smoking/steaming within 30 seconds, which concerned me, so I first turned it to 3--not really doing anything--4, ditto--and finally at setting 5 it seemed to be cooking slowly enough to hopefully not set off the fire alarm. I managed to cook the rice successfully from then without incident, thank gawd. I think what set off the fire alarm yesterday was my taking out the pan from the oven and putting it down on the still-warm burner, so I made sure the entire oven was off for awhile before cooking anything else again down below.....and then the fire alarm STILL WENT OFF AGAIN when I took the egg rolls out of the oven. GODDAMMIT. At least it turned off on its own again.

...I really don't want to have someone come in to look at the oven....but never mind on the idea of baking cookies today too, I think.

I did hear from various people today (my old boss Julie, cousin Linda, Mom, Merry, Robert, Hope, Loretta who STILL isn't done eating her Thanksgiving turkey....), and yes, even Scott. I was thinking, "you know what, probably not gonna hear from him today since I saw him yesterday," but nope :) I sent him various pics of the Baby Yodas and other odd presents, and mentioned that I looked on the yarn website and saw a yarn called "Cow Tipping," which eventually led me to mention my favorite yarn name, "Nothing Says Screw You Like A Rainbow." He said that damn near made him spit. Yay :)

Today's Viewing:

Dick Whittington: A Pantomime for 2020:
I didn't take notes during this, but I probably should have. I've never watched any British pantos before even though I used to know a girl who was into that sort of thing. I haven't been into a lot of the free online plays of late, but I found myself kind of getting into this. It is very 2020--the audience, such as it is, has masks on and there's definitely talk of what a year it has been, and "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa is turned into "Wash Your Hands." They did several quite good song parodies, particularly turning "Bad Guy" by Billie Ellish into a song for the Rat Queen, who frequently emerges from a toilet. The costumes and bling are pretty great, especially the bacon n' eggs dress. As for the plot, the title character ("a fine, upstanding name") has just moved to London and got robbed and has no money or home, but makes a lot of new, strange, colorful friends and then the plot seems to revolve around the mayor retiring and the Rat Queen wanting the job. Loved the music, and the dick jokes. Better than I expected.

Today's Hallmark: Project Christmas Wish:
"I'm a fun elf!" "Not so fun for me!"
A little girl named Max goes on the radio to tell the head of "Project Christmas Wish" (Lucy) her wish. Then it turns into Sleepless in Seattle because she wants to have a festive Christmas again since the last three years since her mom died have been a buzzkill. Dad's still, cranky, unhappy face when he hears this is....quite a thing. "This is bad," he whispers to himself. Lucas complains that he didn't give permission for this and he is unthrilled at the gossip that will come from it. "Fine. ONE Christmas activity," he grumbles. I think Lucy is just gonna do what she wants. "I see it as a jumping off point for negotiations." (Clueless fan, I presume?) "I've met prickly people before, but he's a walking cactus," she says about Lucas.
Meanwhile, everyone's parents are nagging them to date.
"Grandpa didn't say date. He said--"
"It's not better."
"I meant hate."
"Making it worse." Lucas rips him a polite Hallmark version of a new one after that.
Later, when Lucas is at Lucy's house, picking up her cat:
"You named your cat Mr. Mittens?" (Note: that's the name of an old boss's cat.)
"No, it's Spike. He's vicious so I'd keep my distance."
(Lucas then kisses the cat's head, making a Very Pointed Look at Lucy when he does it.)
"I think I'm already pushing my limits being Christmas Dad."
Max goes on the radio again and says she wants to change her wish--she thought Christmas would make her dad happy, but so far no, so... "I want my dad to be in love again." Lucy makes "uh-oh" face and then turns around to see VERY UNCOMFORTABLE LUCAS outside. I don't particularly love Lucas, but I do feel sorry for him. Nobody likes Christmas relationship pressuring. Now he's "Eligible in Elmhurst" instead of "Christmas Dad."
Meanwhile, Max finally made a friend "Unicorns and rainbows for the win," Lucy said. Ain't that the truth! Lucy says that after her dad died around Christmas as a kid, the family was quite broke. After someone gifted them with all the Christmas decor and food--from the town--she likes to do the same. What's your wish? he asks her. She's surprised and says nobody's asked her that for quite a long time. He says if anyone deserves to have their wish come true, it's her. Awww, that's sweet.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, when Mike the radio host gives Lucy shit on the radio for "not having granted someone's wish yet," Lucy promises that Mike will buy 2 dozen gifts. "You're killing me over here!"
I will note that there's a Hanukkah party in this movie. I am pleased this snuck in somehow. There's also at least one African-American Jewish character--I think actually two, I'm a little confused if the guy wanting a proposal is, but it sounds like Hanukkah is part of the proposal Lucy is setting up. Lucy eventually says her wish is that she wishes she could do PCW all year long, but it's not financially feasible.
"I guess the rest of the year I'd be just a stranger meddling in people's affairs--" Lucas: "DREAM JOB!!!!"
"All my friends are weird," says Lucy's friend whose boyfriend is likely to propose. Lucy calls her boyfriend to warn him to act casual.
I like how Lucas is lightening up here. He even juggles!
"Bedtime is not part of my Project Christmas List." "Nice try, kiddo."
Lucas kisses Lucy, and then freaks the heck out. "I should go." "You live here. I should go."
"Mr. Mittens, we at least have each other." (Mr. Mittens runs off.) "Thanks for that." "It's easy to move old wounds onto new people," someone says to Lucy, who's "eating a whole Yule Log." She doesn't want to fall for someone who's still in love with someone else. He doesn't know if he'll ever be ready. "I can't just wait around for you to figure that out, Lucas." "I can't just give you my heart" and wait for him to eventually do the same, "I have to protect myself."
"I'm being weird because I love you." "That doesn't really explain anything." The guy ends up spontaneously proposing ahead of The Big Promposal. AWWWWWWWWWWWW. "You're my soulmate and I know we're lifers." AWWWWWW. Then Lucas walks up and totally interrupts. Oops.
Lucy realizes she does want love in her life and she should ask for it. IF ONLY IT WAS THAT EASY, I SAY. Well, even if Lucas didn't work out, some good came from it, she says.
"Sometimes we wish for one thing and realize we wanted something else," Max says, her real wish was to not be sad any more, but sometime that's just something that has to happen. Genuinely cute/sweet kid, there. Oh, and the entire town has come up with a charter for her to do OCW all year long as a non-profit, full time job. AWWWWWWWWW. Lucas did it. He even brought a Christmas horse. (Note: she made a Christmas horse mascot and he's been giving her shit about it all episode, but I never bothered to recap that.) "It's what you would have done. Go overboard. And I want to go overboard with you. In...moderation?" (LOLOLOLOL.) Let's go for it! They do.

A Christmas Movie Christmas:

This one is from UP TV. Here is the advertisement: "Two cute sisters live together. One loves Christmas movies and the other calls them predictable. They meet. They fall in love. It snows. The end. This time's different. They magically wake up in a Christmas movie." THIS IS THE CHRISTMAS MOVIE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, Y'ALL.

"Christmas in Christmas Cove." One sister watches Christmas movies in her cubicle, the other is all "Isn't that the same actor from the other Christmas movie?" Lacey's date also ghosted her for Christmas Eve, wtf? Then there's "Return to Christmas Cove." "I'm DVR'ing "The Twelve Cats of Christmas." I die laughing. "You can't spend all of December in front of the television." "I have years of experience saying I can." Me too. "Don't be a Scrinch." (Scrooge + Grinch.) Little sis definitely wants to be in a Christmas movie. Oh, she's named EVE. Of course she is. "It's like you're hiding away from real life." "Maybe I am," Eve says. They have to go OUTSIDE to get warm, her boss doesn't know who she is... Can you handle that, Santa? The girls fall asleep in front of the TV and magic happens.

"Wait, did you go to bed with your hair and makeup done?" The girls wake up in identical Christmas PJ's and...looking pretty. They wake up to find "Gram-Gram" making them awesome heart waffles. "Do you remember our grandma smiling?" "Once, when she hit a kid on his bike." Also, who's sending Millie 12 Gifts of Christmas? Let's figure out that mystery! WE'RE IN A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!

"Holiday Falls," specifically. "Have you ever seen a town like this?" And the news today off the Holiday Falls Press: "Christmas Wedding! Prince of Norgravia to Marry Commoner!" Lacey has to be the sidekick!

"Cutest child in the world:" "What are you going to ask Santa for?" Lacey, after recognizing last night's Santa: "I'm going to ask him for some answers." Small child: "I'm going to ask him for my daddy back." GOD I HOPE HER DAD ISN'T DEAD. "You'll go home when you see the wish through," says Santa. Lacey is concerned about her job because "my boss doesn't give excused absences for MAGICAL CHRISTMAS JOURNEYS!!!" LOLOLOLOL. We're on Christmas movie time, relax! Also, here it's a week until Christmas. "I guess I need to find my storyline!" "Our Christmas festival is in trouble." "That was convenient." The local innkeeper is looking for Eve, so now she has a beau! Both girls swoon over "Chad Matthew Monroe...." (named Russell here) who also has the hots for Eve.

Grandma's Christmas tree sweater is AMAZEBALLS and I love it and want it. She also has a fridge full of nothing but cookies. She breaks out her "favorite" ornaments the girls "made." "Is it just me, or are these hideous?" "We were NOT talented children." Bonus points for the naked angel one. Eve has somehow developed the magical ability to decorate.
Lacey has a dramatic save by the candy store owner. Oh look, a hot guy for you too! "Yesterday, I got into a snowball fight with some kids!"

"How are you bored in a magical Christmas wonderland?" Lacey is pouting, but declines going caroling or making cookies.

I've been spelling it "Lacey" all along, but someone just left an envelope marked "Lacy." IT'S FROM THE HOT BAKER!" "I was on my way home from volunteering at the local animal shelter." "Of course you were." He's also "making some treats for the pups." "It's not a date!" she yells, as he clicks his heels after she agrees to whatever, I was too busy laughing.
I forgot to mention that Eve's cranky boss is somehow in this movie. He does not like their caroling.

The baker dude is stalking, or at least leaving notes. Lacey has...what is that written on her Christmas PJ butt?!

"Noelle St. Vanderfloot," Dustin's ex, flaunts her way into the storyline. OF COURSE SHE DOES. "Eve Bell, like the bell, DING!" is all she's got. "I'm here to save the festival, of course!" "I love this town!" "But you've never been here before."

Lacy tells the baker that it's stalkery and weird. "I am explicitly telling you to stop." The cute wittle kid offers her a card (from Paul) and then it gets all facetious. "Thank you, token adorable child...and Paul."

'DON'T YOU EVER DRAW ME SLEEPING THROUGH MY WINDOW AGAIN." "Noted," he says, hiding the card in his pocket in a drawer.

Paul takes Lacy to see Santa. Why am I here, she asks? Have you gotten what you wanted yet? No. Wonderful things can happen if you give someone/something a chance. Why can't you just be straightforward? Hah, nope.

Eve goes to break up with the actor. He apologizes for coming off arrogant with new people and she's the only one he can be himself with. She relates. This is getting deep and sweet. Eve continues to date two guys.

"You can't double date with five people." Noelle overhears it all.
Paul is having a Very Serious Conversation with his uh....gingerbread men. Really, I guess we need to be Concerned About Paul, doing that all alone. Lacy hand drew him a card. "Paul, you are so sweet I could eat you up! Lacy." She almost drew one eating his leg, but....
Paul wonders why nobody's ordered any Christmas cookies for the festival. Noelle was supposed to do that...instead she brings up the actor. Paul says, "I have all your songs, including the one you released in Japan and tried to have removed off the Internet." "Eve, of course you need no introduction to your boyfriend."

"You cut the gifts for the kids for hot chocolate?" "Kids like hot chocolate. Don't they?" Noelle's bad. Also she blew the budget on importing fancy hot chocolate. "But yay hot chocolate though, right?" Dustin stomps off.

Lacy has issues. "I think my problems just followed me here," Eve cries. Eve ruined everything and Lacy pushed away "the best man I ever met." "So much for everything turning out all right in Holiday Falls." Neither of them wants to talk about it.

We're going to take a risk and save Christmas! Eve has a plan! Lacy goes to Paul and apologizes. "You never saw me as a screwup." Paul LIGHTS UP at the save Christmas idea. Noelle doles out the hot chocolate, at least. (Gram-Gram likes it.) The adorable little girl literally won't let the actor leave, which is amusing. "Russell, you don't wanna make a little girl cry." HAHAHAHAHAH LOVE THIS MOVIE. Somehow gits are being handed out and everything is fine! Noelle apologizes. Russell plays. The cute wittle girl's daddy comes home from the military (oh thank god, it's not a zombie), and even Eve's boss seems fine. Dustin shows up. Eve, alas, decides to go back home to the city. They kiss anyway, and magic goes off. Lacy's wish was to be a better person, and she thanks Paul. They kiss too.

The sisters wake up at their crappy home again. OMG PAUL IS IN THE APARTMENT MAKING BREAKFAST. He told Santa HIS Christmas wish, is how he's here.
Eve heads off to her office. "What are you doing here? It's Christmas," says her boss, who is also at work. She corrects her name that he's been getting wrong and speaks up for herself. He's amenable. She wishes Dustin was here. Oh look, he is! He thought he'd give city living one more try! Next year, "Return to Holiday Falls!" Santa waves.
LOVE THIS. This cracked my shit up. Good job.

And finally, I found a play to watch: On The Farce Day of Christmas. "Now this is based on a true story, so this gives you an idea of how sick some of my friends are," says the playwright.
Wendy and Gary are divorced, but she's paying him to pretend to stay married and go visit her parents in Utah for Christmas. Mom wants to know when a baby is coming, her boyfriend calls, and Gary claims his dream is to be a coal miner... in LA.
"I love your family, but you're weird." "For Utah."
Mom gifts them a copy of the Kama Sutra...with the page bookmarked that created Wendy. Wendy's boyfriend Chip keeps calling and sending gifts. Wendy seems quite over him, but is also convinced that Gary cheated on her, which he denies. It's hard to explain a woman answering your phone at 2:30 a.m. though. He claims a bride was getting abused on her wedding night and ran in.
"I have got this under complete control as long as nothing else happens." "You know it will."
Then Wendy's hottie high school best friend Karen comes by and all the dudes want to sleep with her, and Chip of course shows up to propose marriage in front of everyone after 2 months of dating....
I liked this one a lot better than his other play I saw (last week), Guilty Pleasures. You root for this outcome, really, and I was happy Wendy and Greg got back together.

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