Chaos Attraction

Glass Onion

2022-12-26, 4:56 p.m.

Late Xmas Day:

Went over to Roger's, Evan was there and we compared work situations, snacks we like (same snacks) and he told me that his friend Stephanie (see previous Thanksgivings) sent him a large box of 8 bags of Chex Mix, which he's confused about because while he's not anti-Chex Mix, my mom's version is his favorite (I hear ya, sir) and his usual crack is kettle chips, so...why Chex Mix? I found this very funny.

There was a bit of present exchange--I note that most gifts were liked, I got another book, another candy house kit (sent photos to Dawn and Loretta, said I'd bring to the next party) and Encanto Lego, which pleased me. Roger made it clear he liked the shirts we got him yesterday, but the slippers and Yellowstone shirt she got him, not so much. I got raised to not act like that about gifts, so that made me a bit uncomfortable.

Dinner was good (chicken, mashed potatoes, salad) and then we watched Glass Onion, which the parental units slept through but Evan and I quite enjoyed. Because that's a big ol' spoiler movie, that will go at the bottom of this entry. After that, Evan got the heck out of there (drove in fog, which...up to you, bud) and I sat around while the parental figures watched Yellowstone and its prequel and 60 Minutes. This is the second time I've watched Yellowstone at Christmas and I still have no idea what is going on with this show. Eventually we got to leave, but agreeing to have lunch with Roger before I leave.

I note that Mom continued to bitch me out about my speed (I was going 30 in a 35 mph zone and she starts babbling on about someone she knows who got a ticket here), kept claiming that I slam on the brakes any time I touched them at all, WOULD NOT STOP NO MATTER HOW MUCH I ASKED HER TO and pointed out that she doesn't do this to Roger*, I started driving ten miles below the speed limit. THEN SHE COMPLAINED ABOUT THAT ONE TOO and I told her that if she was going to keep bitching me out that I was going too fast, then I was going to go too slow. Luckily for me, very few people were out at 11 at night to road rage at me for that. I note that yesterday she bitched me out for going too fast at 17 mph. I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER TO DRIVE AGAIN.

* "He doesn't speed." "You literally complain to me that he speeds." "But not in town!" "He does too, on (name redacted) Road. I've heard you complain about that one too."


That Article is out today. Saw it on my newsfeeds. 500+ reads. I'm afraid to look. At least it's coming out on a day where my work is closed, so if anyone decides to stalk me at work they just get auto-away. I tried to buy a paper of it anyway IRL and every single store I went to didn't have that paper today. Go figure on THAT one. Is that a blessing in disguise?

Now it is 4:20 and I am finally back home, freezing in my frigid apartment again. WAH. God, I enjoyed actually having heat for a few days.

Mom tried to apologize to me for nitpicking my driving...and then immediately went into complaining that I drive too fast ANYWAY. *facepalm*

I got Mom out of the hotel room, got to Roger's, went out to this "country" restaurant they like but I don't think I'm quite as into (sadly it was literally full when we got there, sigh), ate the onion rings but not the actual sandwich I ordered, and then finally left somewhere around 12:40-ish. I didn't get back to my place until 3:45, what does that tell you? HOURS of traffic, apparently there was some accident on 80. I never saw it because GPS found me a "faster" route that directed me and a lot of people through the burbs of Suisun. This was crawlingly slow and probably just as bad. I didn't get back to town until 3:10 or so, and then I spent some fruitless time trying to find newspapers and then buy packaging to mail something, which they didn't have the right size of either.

Well, at least I made it home before the rains hit. We're told it's going to be horrendous rains and floods for the next week straight...yaaaaaaaaaaaay. As I bitched to Roger earlier, I know we all HAVE to say "we need the rain! We're in a drought!," but I hate when it pours so badly it flash floods everything. Do I have to like/want that?

I'm going to finish this off before I go to the theater. First night of tech tonight, god help me.

Okay, commentary on Glass Onion below...will be spoilerISH if not totally blatantly spoilery.

This takes place in May 2020, in a world where only once in a while, someone wears a mask. One character--the dippiest one--wears a mesh one and then is all "yay, I can breathe again" when taking it off. I'm not sure why they bothered to set this show in 2020, actually, since most of it is about ignoring the pandemic, as everyone literally hangs around each other anyway. The aforementioned dippiest one, Birdie, is throwing a giant party ("it's my pod!") in the opening. Then they all go off to a private island, Kardashian-style, without any quarantine. Some random dude (Ethan Hawke) shoots something in everyone's mouths and then says, "You're good," which is probably all lies, but is the vague excuse for everyone to not bother with covid precautions the rest of the movie. *eye-roll*

Literally the only reason to have this take place in 2020 is that the richest character was allowed to rent the Mona Lisa at his house because the Louvre is closed and needs the money. It's a plot point.

This features a group of friends called "The Disruptors," who used to be five not-successful people until they had this friend group, that hung out at the "Glass Onion" bar back in the day (since destroyed, the title "Glass Onion" is a clear office at the top of the "rich asshole house"). Two of them, Andi Brand and Miles Bron, started a big shot company. Miles is clearly supposed to be some tech bro asshole. I hear a lot of comparisons to Elon Musk, but I still think Miles is a brain trust compared to Elon. (For one thing, Miles still seems to have employees, and actually manages to accomplish his goals, even if they are um, bad.)

However, when Andi objected very strongly to Miles's plan to um...I'm not technical, we'll just say "using a power source that is highly likely to go Hindenburg," he got her kicked out of the company with "proof" that only he founded it on a napkin. The rest of Disruptor Club is enough indebted to him that they all perjured themselves about it in court, Andi is mad, and Andi lost the lawsuit. Other members of Disruptor Club have also objected to this, but after seeing what happened to Andi, feel stuck about it.

Miles sent everyone some "puzzle box" (JJ Abrams is jealous) to open to get their invites to this year's private Greek island gathering, which is going to be a murder mystery in which Miles gets "murdered." That includes Andi, who for many reasons you'd think would have been left off the guest list....

Also showing up for the event--I'll say his actual invite is....ambiguous... is Benoit Blanc, who is spending all his time in the bathtub playing Among Us with famous murder/mystery/writer/performer people before this came up. He needs a good case, darn it!

Benoit actually solves the fake murder mystery ah...over dinner? Hahahahahahahahah. I won't say how, but it amused me. However, after that, some actual death occurs, and there's a blackout, and shit gets craycray.

Then we see what I'd refer to as a Section 2 of the movie, in which we find out more about how Benoit got his invite and what else is going on in the investigation. Eventually we get around to the denouement, in which Benoit gets annoyed at stupidity, and our Ms. Brand ... well, I enjoyed the ending, let's say. I'm especially amused at how a frequently suggested desire of someone plays out. Muahahahah.

Probably about my only critique about it is that whodunit is based on the concept of stupidity, which Benoit is not in favor of, and admits he's not good at "dumb" games like Clue. I dunno if it's so much "whodunit" so much as "howdunit," I suppose? In retrospect that seems a bit weak, but also I probably would have done it the same way if I did mysteries.

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