2020-12-27, 8:13 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
One of my emails referred to this week as "Betwixtmas," which is accurate. Another thing I saw referred to this week as an "interregnum," which is also accurate. I've only gotten five emails today at all (mostly there's like 25 pieces o' mostly spam/mailing lists by halfway through the day), which should tell you something about the sheer amount of lazeballs going on.
Vacation Day 9:
Exercise: I went back to doing it again today, and this is where the new watch really kicked in. I should probably note that in the beforetimes, I usually ended up walking around for about 90 minutes a day, and I timed myself at doing something like 117 steps in a minute, and I would hit 4 miles and 10,000 steps in 90 minutes. Alas, this does not show up on any pedometers on my phone(s), as I discovered in early pandemic that pedometers don't register all the steps when you are only going short distances and having to turn around a lot. I timed how many steps I actually do and it's about the same, so nowadays I just walk around indoors for 90 minutes and then assume I did 10k.
However, the new smartphone watch actually kicked in and did something today while I did that, and it said that in 90 minutes I did 3 miles, 6000+ steps and 454 calories. Well, that's better... I forgot to lift weights (such as that is) while doing it, but oh well. At least I read a book for a change--per my therapist, I'm reading "The Little Paris Bookshop" via library Kindle. It's not bad. Definitely a library read for me as opposed to something I'd have purchased--I'm not a person who's obsessed with Paris and the premise is rather sad--but the overall concept of a guy running a floating bookstore where he prescribes you what to read based on your issues is a gimmick I do appreciate.
I haven't used the stove at all today, but I did try to rewarm the last of my chicken in the microwave and....a hole burned in the plastic. WTF?!? This has not happened before either. Ughhhhhh, I don't WANT to call them for help, I don't WANNNNNNNNNNNNA especially now. I mostly lived off Baby Yoda cereal (a combo of Trix and Lucky Charms? Yellow puffballs and little Yoda-head marshmallows) all day, which was excellent at least. I'm not normally that into cereal, but yum.
Today was the second meeting of....Collage Club, I guess? (I think this is gonna be a weekly hangout.) I will note that Doreen said she was going to do another Zoom after two hours and after over an hour and a half of check-in time and meditation time on request* I finally asked, are we actually going to uh....do collage? So some collage actually started, at least. Doreen left after 2 and Sarah** left after maybe 2.5 hours or so, so after awhile it was just me and Meg and Jade.
* This week was on gratitude--a topic that makes me grumbly--what we're willing to let go out of our lives (answer, nothing, I guess?) and what does our guardian angel want to tell us--I got the word "trust" and that was all. I preferred last week's, but this was kind of a spontaneous request that Jade was pulling out of her "I do hypnotherapy" hat, so we'll see how it goes next week with planning.
Meg probably had the most progress on her collage bowl, as she'd done a lot of pre-glaze painting on her bowl and painted more on it during the session. Sarah had done some stamping. Jade I guess has picked out stuff enough for 3 boards but wasn't ready to put stuff down yet, I'm not sure what Doreen was doing exactly? I ended up finishing mine after we were down to three people, which I did as a diptych, taping two cardboard boards together. Not sure what I am going to do next week, but whatever :P
Meg was saying that she thinks Sarah's husband is autistic, as he doesn't seem to be able to handle well...caregiving type stuff at all, and Sarah had to pay their bills while in the hospital because he couldn't handle it. (Which is definitely A Thing I Do Not Approve Of myself, gotta admit. I've known a few dudes like that and I even said, what happens if I'm in the hospital and my last ex has to deal with the money?) I asked how Sarah felt about it and it sounds like Sarah just deals, but hey, her life choice there. She is also concerned that Doreen said she wasn't even going to start worrying about moving until fall, given the pandemic (legit reasonable, I say) and doesn't seem to really be working on trying to move on, and she can't picture what else she'd like to do or where to move to.
I said "Hey, remember reading Toil and Trouble" (which I just reread) and how he talked about how if he couldn't see something happen, it wouldn't?" The other book I was reading last night, the new Robert Moss book called "Growing Your Dreams," said the same thing. So I said what she should do is work on helping Doreen see other options. (After all, part of why I'm stymied at work is I literally can't see anything better out there than what I've got. Also because "regular paycheck and health insurance and lets me work from home during a pandemic" are requirements as far as I'm concerned, And the reasons why I stick with the job aren't as obvious as the reasons why I hate it, which come up daily. And which is why it is hard for me to feel real, cockle-warming gratitude for being employed.) So hey, that's what collage is for, I guess....at least picturing locations is easier. Jade said she'd look into a meditation about this.
Regarding "vision boards that actually work," Meg said she was hitting YouTube and some guy writes himself letters like it's already happened, and he writes down his doubts and burns them. I pointed out that for various reasons, fire is not something I want to be doing (and as Meg pointed out, NOT MY ELEMENT), so can I just like, rip 'em up instead? "Write in sand" and "Get an Etch-A-Sketch" were suggested.
Meg told a story about her son Michael winning 3 dozen duck decoys. He's happy about it, his dad was all "3 dozen decoys, just what I don't want." Jade said that in England, they were pairing off single people with a family who was willing to "fix them a plate" for Christmas, which I thought sounded like a brilliant idea. Jade also said to me that even though we haven't hung out a whole lot much online in the last four years since I met her right before she moved to England (I introduced her and Meg, of sorts, when I wanted to go into a hippie store that Jade was working at and we all hit it off. Meg has been more in contact with her than me, though.) except for when I've been at Meg's, "my soul knows your soul." AWWWWWWW. Meg said that we can say painful things and not judge for it.
Anyway, that was more like 4 hours today, but I deeply enjoyed it. Slept in, hung out crafting, exercised, watched Hallmark: what else is there to life? LITERALLY NOTHING.
A Star For Christmas: I didn't take notes during this, but this is an UP TV from 2012 in which a perfectly nice average girl baker named Chloe has some ridiculous Christmas action movie filming in her town and the hottie star of it volunteers his services to fix stuff around the building, then turns out to be famous. Then the paparazzi follow them around. Then his costar (Brooke Burns) tries to get him back and fails--that girl vacillates between totally manipulative and "that's actually kind of charming in a weird way, go figure" behavior. Somehow she ends up with the baker girl's totally lame brother? There's a lot of running and ridiculous action scenes.
Christmas Tree Lane: an Alicia Witt I haven't seen yet.
In the grand tradition of Old Things Are Best At Hallmark, Meg owns a record store on "Christmas Tree Lane." I was wondering how she makes a living, but I guess they also sell musical instruments in there too. Apparently the area isn't as popular as it used to be, and now all the stores are being evicted to be demolished for a coworking space or something. I confess I am kind of stumped as to why throwing a concert and having a tree decorating competition is going to save all the stores from an eviction notice, though? Unless they're raising money to pay for lawyers, I guess?
Meg starts hanging out with Nate, a handsome businessman who's moved back to town to join the family business...and it sounds like he's unaware that his business is the one ripping down CTL, since he's sympathetic to the CTL plight. They hang out a lot and are really pleasantly cute and friendly together. Andrew Walker also does good dude Hallmark.
I'll note that as I was watching this, I came across this video. All the "fuck you's" while watching Hallmark really amused me.
Almost an hour in, Nate has been assigned to the demolishing of Christmas Tree Lane. He TRIES to tell her.... and then she finds out when she goes to his work. He has a compromise idea to suggest to his dad. "The only way to reinvent this neighborhood is to start over," dad says. Dad then cites remodeling old buildings, which I kind of feel like may argue for Nate's idea? Nate gets a new idea: use the apartments over the stores and have people move in. But no dice with Dad.
Almost two hours into the movie and THEY FINALLY GET A PRO BONO LAWYER! (Nate's very nice college ex.) However, it's ONLY Meg's singing at the concert that convinces his dad to relent. Huzzah, CTL is saved!
Heart of the Holidays:
Sam is an NYC stockbroker who finds out that her boyfriend is now running the new company she just got hired at. I can't be dating the boss, she says! Everyone will think I just slept my way to the top...especially after he is all "we just had to can a bunch of people, but don't worry, YOUR job is safe!" She runs for it.
She goes home to her hometown, where literally everybody has nothing much else to worry about other than Sam running into her baker ex, Noah. Which she does frequently. Basically she left without telling him or else she never would have left town and she really wanted to. Then there is some drama about the food bank, which leads to the line, "I'm throwing a magical Christmas soiree at the food bank." Within 24 hours.
I'm pretty bored with this one. Why did I watch it? It has Vanessa Lengies in it, who I have never been into other than in "Stick It" (a delightful movie about sticking it to gymnastics judges, something anyone who's ever watched gymnastics has wished they could do). It also has the movie star guy from the Christmas star movie in it, playing someone who is okay but not that interesting. He was more fun in the other movie. Which is a shame since he directed this one. Maybe he's just not that fun of a dude IRL, I dunno. I will note that Sam keeps asking everyone in the hometown, "Did you ever think about moving?" and every single one of them is all "Eh, I never really thought about it" or "I never wondered what else was out there." I know it's Hallmark and everyone rhapsodizes over their idyllic small town, but they all seem like very boring people. Noah has done nothing but pine for 8 years, apparently.
The requisite Ex Comes Back And With A Job Offer (note: somewhere else not working for him, at least...I think it was fundraising for a nonprofit or something....?) happens. She decides to move back home anyway. Shocker, I know. Funniest bit in this movie: "Go get him honey!" Befuddled old guy: "Go get who?" Other lady: "Really?!"