Chaos Attraction

My Hair Is Bad And That's Why I Can't Catch A Man

2021-12-29, 10:14 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Wednesday recap:

Today's Hallmark: Time for Them to Come Home For Christmas.
Btw, why does Hallmark have THREE titles of "Time for X To Come Home For Christmas" and they aren't even a series? It's just three randoms with random titles slapped on. I think the only thing they have in common is some country music aspect to it (in this case, playing the same country song over and over again). I think it's played at least 5-6 times? I can't remember if it's the same song in every movie or not and I don't care.

I suspect I am in kind of "the dregs of Hallmark" at this point because I'm just watching this one to be a completist, especially since it's another holiday amnesia plot. Anyway, nurse guy wants to go home for Christmas and amnesia girl only has some article about a tree lighting ceremony as a possible clue to her identity, so nurse guy will take her along. The article has "Please come--Mark" written on the back of it.

Amnesia movies are boring, y'all. "Do you remember anything?" "No." Repeat, repeat, repeat until the last 15 minutes or whatever. Also, I dunno, I'm just not into Jessy Schram and her making scrunched up confused face? Brendan Penny is bringing the charm, but that's not enough to make up for the dull plot.

One hour and 21 minutes in, she remembers her name. It's Rebecca! 1 hour 30-ish in, we finally meet Mark and his wife Annie, Rebecca's sister. Apparently their Big Fight last Christmas was over Rebecca deciding to write instead of having a job and Annie ripping her a new one for being financially irresponsible ("who's going to help me pay for the nursing home?"). BOOOOOOORING.

I note that a dead character is named "Ben Bennett." Oh, come on.

This was boring as heck.

Christmas CEO: Yeah, we're in the dregs of Hallmark for me today. It's a toy store merger! The word CEO is thrown around a lot! Super exciting! Except for legal reasons, this girl's ex-partner/childhood best friend has to sign off on it and he stomped out and left and they haven't talked in 7 years.

You know what, I know Hallmark is pretending there's no pandemic, and I'm fine with that, but there was really no reason to say "Mom and Dad are on a Christmas cruise," because you just reminded me of pandemic. Anyway, suddenly Ms. CEO has to babysit her niece, who is bored as heck at business talk. Me too. "The cold pizza was pretty good, right?" Ms. CEO tries.

On the phone, Ms. CEO bitches that she can't find Joe Sullivan and he's dropped off the map. LITERALLY THE SANTA SHE WALKS BY IS ALL "Joe Sullivan? I know him." and Ms. CEO is all "Uh, that's a common name," and he's all "Oh, the Joe Sullivan that's the son of so-and-so? He's working down the street at a toy hospital." I have seen some commentary (notably "Christmas in Tahoe") about people who are supposed to be childhood sweethearts not appearing to be the same age. I didn't think that during Tahoe, but this dude looks drastically older than Ms. CEO. Anyway, Joe refuses to merge because he is anti-corporate and says he quit because all Ms. CEO cared about were profits. Ms. CEO is all "um, we have to keep the business going?" and I think that's also a legit assessment. He agrees to sign but only if she volunteers for a toy drive. Except he insists on calling it a "jamboree."

Niece is a songwriter, wants to do an audition, and just got told she can only sing "preapproved" songs. Even Ms. CEO rolls her eyes at this.

Ms. CEO's full name is "Christmas Whittaker," and guess when her birthday is. She finds it very suspicious that Santa is at the toy hospital. Even I'm all "not surprised at that."

What toys do CJ's Toys make? A fake phone that lets you call the dentist. Emma the niece calls it "super lame" and "boring" and Chris(tmas) is all "But our focus groups say that kids like things that interact!" I'm all "they all have their own real phones these days." 'The merging CEO shows up to the toy drive and wants to donate. Joe is unimpressed. "Is that a drone?" "it's a very expensive drone." Clearly both Merger CEO and Joe dislike each other at first speak. Everyone also gives Chris(tmas) shit for not having obvious toys around at a toy company. Since they clearly aren't at a toy factory building right now and are obviously at the corporate offices, I am unshocked.

Joe is annoying. He's trying to be Manic Pixie Dream Boy, but has too much annoying going on. I really don't like him. Even when confessing his love, he's obnoxious and stomps off in a huff.

Not that I care, but somehow the merger didn't go through...and she ended/quit her company so they can start another one again? Why not just convert the old one if you want to? I don't get Business Movies. This review explains its weirdness even better.

Making Spirits Bright: This one's about rival house decorating companies. The two guys originally had a company together--title drop--and then they disagreed over money vs. quality and one of them kicked the other one out. SAME PLOT AS CHRISTMAS CEO, APPARENTLY. Anyway, both companies end up in an housing decoration competition. The wives and children of the dads still sneak around hand hang out together anyway. There's also "Wade and his carnival light show," who I guess annoys everybody. The dude is quite smarmy.

I guess the dads aren't managing their houses on their own, so everyone else talks them into teaming up. I'm not sure how they are going to split a contract with the city (the prize) though. That said, the eventual light shows at the end of the show were fun. I've seen far crazier/fun IRL and on The Great Christmas Light Fight, but still, it was pretty, at least.

12:30 pm. Despite the news accounts, it ain't snowing here. Or raining, actually. Hmmm. Though at least the electric blanket worked, so there's that.

I am in a wretched mood after yesterday. Rae keeps sending me happy "it's my birthday soon!!!!!!" texts (she has declared that we are celebrating hers today since I won't be around for it next week) and I am not in the mood to project cheer and happiness. I'm trying to finish her a crocheted Loki and it ain't gonna get finished because it is complicated. I wanted to make her both a Croki Loki (did that awhile back) and an actual Loki and the latter is complicated and I was hoping to have until oh, the end of this week to do it. NOPE.

And you know what? MOM IS SHIT AT MAKING SOMEONE FEEL BETTER. She called me up to tell me the entire reason why I can't catch a man is my frizzy straight hair and no man is going to see through to my better qualities if my hair is bad. (I note that it's been raining for days and there's no point in curling my hair under the circumstances.) I straight up told her this was bad/wrong/offensive/mean/'not helping anything/not what I wanted to hear and hung up on her, and then she sent me the world's longest text in response. I didn't respond. WHAT MAN EVER GAVE A SHIT IF YOU HAVE BAD HAIR? IT'S MY PERSONALITY THAT'S THE TURNOFF, really. She's all "if you want to catch one you have to care about your appearance" and frankly, there's not much point in trying to be pretty these days. It's wet, cold, we're all masked, I'm wearing sweats every day, who cares any more. And also, nobody cares. Seems like all the vaguely attractive people I have met of late are all taken (and I'm not feeling it for them anyway), so who cares. And frankly, in pre-pandemic I dressed like a pretty, pretty princess every day and had smooth, curly curly hair, and NOBODY EFFING CARED THEN EITHER, so what's the difference?

I am also sad about Lindsay Ellis. I used to want to be famous. Well, I still do on some level, but the way the world is going, I have decided to hide myself forever. This absolutely confirms why.

6 p.m. Went to go get Rae at 1 and we went to Panera for lunch (outside, I ended up eating half her lunch! Hey, she didn't want it) and then to Target so I could get pantyhose for tonight's shoot and so she could use some gift cards, and then to McDonald's for ridiculously early dinner, and then we dance partied and watched more Harry Potter. That was helpfully distracting from my bad mood. I did tell Rae what my mom said and she said, "That was mean." Damn right.

10 p.m. Rehearsal, act 2. First we did the publicity photos, during which I discovered that yes, Sabrina (Ulla) has several large tattoos, one on each arm and one on half her back. Steve had made a reference to them before, and yeah, that's quite obvious in her white dress, so I got to see how well that makeup works. Let's just say if you're up close you can still see them, I can only hope it's not seeable from the stage. She didn't even bother covering her back since hopefully that wasn't in the photos. We did do our old lady shot, so I'm in one photo, at least. I put the outfit on and look sufficiently guilty. Sabrina and I and a few others were making comments about being unrecognizable, which certainly appealed to Sabrina.

Things I found out:
(a) Apparently I don't have an outfit for the audition scene--"crazy shorts!" the showgirls all said--but since Jean (costumes) is out still, can't ask on that one.
(b) I counted the outfits I did have and it's eight so far. Jean (actress) has a spreadsheet she makes of all of the wardrobe things.
(c) I photographed my costumes and debated trying to come up with matching masks, but that may be a pain in the arse/not doable for the first three scenes I'm in in act 1. The first two run together and one has a quick change, and the third outfit is a muddy red dress, so why bother matching that. I decided to order some black KN95's online instead and I'll probably just wear black a lot. They talked about us having blue for the little old ladies and I have a blue tie-on mask, which I had on in photos, so fine. I'm not sure what to do in act 2 since it's (a) audition, (b) Bavarian, then (c) quick change to Nazi brownshirt, then (d) back to little old ladies again, and finishing in (e) prison guard black and white. Might just have to wear black most of the time here. The Bavarian outfit would be cute to match with something, but seriously not gonna have the time to switch, I don't think? I dunno. I'm debating ordering a tan mask online or something, but I dunno there. (Also, boring.)
(d) We're supposed to be actors doing walk-ins to the theater in the "break a leg" scene, added that in.

Things I noted about the show:
(a) "That Face" seems kinda ironic while masked. Also, DAMN, WHAT ARE THEY DOING BEHIND THE COUCH?!? Hubba hubba! (Also, I note "Hold-Me-Touch-Me is there.)
(b) Max's "Betrayed" number is amazing, even if Eddie was kinda running out of steam a bit. At one point he literally recaps the entire show. And then there's the bit where Steve comes up, briefly gives him water and a massage and then Max takes a selfie with an audience member before going back to it....not in the script, I note, but I do like it.
(c) Possibly the best line in the show(?) out of a lot of them is when Franz starts yelling at Roger and Carmen about making fun of Hitler and they are all "He didn't need any help!" True dat.
(d) I have now seen Roger's Empire State dress, which is apparently the same dress he was in 11(!?!) years ago and ah, I guess he's grown since then. It doesn't quite look Empire State-y, just vague trimmings. However, he's got on a lovely large crown and a wig with a literal bow of hair on the top. Dang.

Covid watch: no word on Jean (costume designer) other than she's still not in the theater and I presume the New Year's Day party she traditionally throws is off. We were told that Evan can return once he's had two negative tests. So far nobody else seems to have it (I note that I kept my mask on allllll day even with just Rae and only removed it for lunch outside, and otherwise just snuck food/drink under the mask) and the only other person missing was Other Jennifer, who I guess had a known conflict anyway.

Set stuff: Steve asked for volunteers, a few of us such as myself said we could come in on the 31st.

Scott did at least say hi/talk a wee bit/sit nearby me again, but otherwise same there.

Looks like other than Covid testing, I have the day free tomorrow unless anyone else (Ashley?) calls up. She did call today but she was on her way to karaoke #2.

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