Chaos Attraction

Cleaning Day

2006-12-30, 8:58 a.m.

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9:45 a.m. Thursday:

I'd just like to know: whenever I am at someone else's house, borrowing their shower, why is it that I can NEVER find shampoo?

Seriously. I will be in there all wet, and there will be fifteen bottles of body wash and conditioner and NOT A DROP OF SHAMPOO ANYWHERE in the damn shower. Not even in the sample packets that have been saved in there for a coon's age. What the HELL is up with that? Happens at my aunt's house, and apparently now it's happened at my mom's house.

I had to resort to washing my hair with...well, you really don't want to know, but my hair smells goddamned horrible now.

Also, I hate that I am apparently too stupid to operate a washer and dryer at this house. Yes, I can read. Yes, I can crank the knobs here and there. Yes, I miss washers that let you pick "hot" and "cold" instead of "Knits? Casual? Delicates? Jeans?" Because I am not doing separate loads for each fabric when none of them are all THAT picky, thank you. But even if I read the damn knobs and do what it says ("push button to start dryer"), why the fuck do they not work?

*sigh* Now you know why my mother always thinks I am stupid.

5:15 p.m. Thursday:

Anyway, today was Cleaning Day #1. Thank gawd Mauricio was over so I could go in another room rather than be yelled at in the kitchen all day. Before he came over, she was pulling her usual stuff- ordering me to read the paper so she could throw it out, then said to clean out the dishwasher when I was done reading the paper, then berating me several times for not reading faster. That's the first time in my life someone complained that I read slow. That's what he walked in on.

Anyway, he kept her occupied packing up the kitchen, and I was in the bedroom going through the paper avalanche on the computer desk. I am not kidding when I say that you literally can't see about half of the monitor because it's covered in papers, nor can you sit in the computer chair because of piles of papers. So Mauricio told me to go through them and take out whatever could be thrown out and toss it, without Mom hanging over me to forbid me from throwing any of it out.

I'd say I kept about 55% of the pile. The other 45% was old catalogs, old receipts, e-mails, and forwards that she'd printed out 8 times apiece. I say, if it's saved on your computer, YOU CAN TOSS IT. It's a shame I don't know of any paper recycling joints in the area.

Of course she'd come in periodically and bitch that I wasn't sorting, organizing, and filing all of her papers for her while I was at it, and demanded that the stuff to be shredded be sorted as well. I ended up chucking stuff into folders marked "Medical/Dad," "Death/Parents", "Funeral," etc. Fun, fun. I love spending my so-called vacation doing this.

At this point in time, the computer area is cleaned enough so that I can see it, anyway. There's a big box of bills, and a big box of miscelleaneous papers I wasn't even going to attempt to file, but at least it isn't so damn bad.

I shudder to think at what will go on when Mauricio isn't here, though. He seems to be getting sick, which is freaking me the hell out. We're gonna kill each other without a referee here.

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