Same old, same old post goes up while I take off to SF to hang out with Jackie and then go to the movies, same as every other NYE....

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Presented at a conference, drove without freaking out, even drove at higher speeds on public roads, had my first root canal, actually got over my gag reflex from hell, saw Wicked, taught beginning sewing, meditated regularly for awhile, got initiated, manifested stuff, including a LOT of feathers. I found #102 the other day. Not kidding.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Let's check last year's

Leave ONE weekday after work free in my schedule to go to the gym. Do not cram every single activity in from 5-6-7 p.m., every single day.

Have pretty much done this!

Make one crochet square every 15 days for 10 months to finish an afghan for 2009.

Only did this until about May or so, though I did make an afghan with the ones I did make.

Type up my prompt writing from writer's group 2, unless it's total suck, proves I at least wrote something.

Writer's groups have gone to hell this year. No.

Get my driver's permit um...sometime.

Did it! Amazing!

Will I make more? I am undecided as yet. Though I wish I could do hers, because for a few brief years I DID get invited to those parties and they were marvelous. However, circumstances definitely do not permit that these days.

I think the one main resolution I have to make is STOP SPENDING MONEY, though. Period. Or at least buy as little fun stuff as I can possibly manage. I should, for that matter, avoid going to anything fun where I can buy stuff (craft fairs, stores, etc.) because then I will be tempted. But then what in god's name will I do when I have to entertain Mom?! Awk-ward. This is going to make me batshit crazy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Boss's wife. Okay, so I don't know her, but you get the drift. And one friend is pregnant, but not there yet.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

A lack of pay cuts and more job security. (Yeah, right on getting those.)

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

Um...going to the con, Disney birthday, cousin's wedding, initiation.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Driving, I think. Initiation would be #2.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Um...nothing specific comes to mind, just needing to get my shit together more with regards to a lack of job security, i.e. still have no backup plans for life. I wish I had been more inspired for what I wrote for NaNo, but oh well.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope! Oh, wait, wisdom teeth.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Um... nothing really comes to mind this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Eh, most people's, as long as they aren't related to me or holding higher office.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

State government.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Same stuff as usual + pay cuts.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I don't know if I ever get "really, really, really excited" about anything, to be honest. Disneyland, I suppose.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

I second anything on the Glee soundtrack. And "Just Dance." And "Do You Know Me," because the feather mentioned in that line made me choke after the year I've had.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Some of each. I am in a better mood overall than I used to be, but there have been some months of panic this year.
ii. thinner or fatter? Same, or at least no drastic lasting change there.
iii. richer or poorer? I think you can figure this one out for yourself.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Driving practice.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worried.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Sitting around with Mom.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Not with anyone I know in real life :P

23. How many one night stands?

Yeah, right.

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?

Glee, Dollhouse, Community.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

My ex-BF from college after I ran into her at the con and she literally ignored me. Girl has been blowing hot and cold on me (freaking Gemini) since she first dumped me in college, and I give the hell up.

26. What was the best book you read?

Rampant, Jovah's Angel, Deathwish, Witch High,, The Pagan Anthology Of Short Fiction.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Glee.

28. What did you want and get?

New laptop.

29. What did you want and not get?

A new phone/smartphone/organizer. I do really need the latter, but I don't want to triple my phone bill during pay cut time, so.... But now I have an iTouch for that :)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Eh, nothing comes to mind.

31. What did you do on your birthday?

Went to Disneyland!

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?

Not feeling like I was in limbo at work so much.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Same as it is every other year, really.

34. What kept you sane?

Sane? What's that?

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?

What she said. Sigh. I really just don't get over that one no matter what I do, or what he does. I'm just too amused by his randomness (and RPattz is too busy hiding in hotels from crazy people to say anything weird any more).

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gay marriage, budget mismanagement, protests at my work.

37. Who did you miss?

Jess being in town on a regular basis. I am mostly used to her being gone by now, but having her around makes me remember that.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I met many nice hippies.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

That eventually you're just going to have to accept that some callings won't go away no matter what you do, and you will have to deal with it. I mostly feel a whole lot better after coming to that particular revelation.

Though yeah, I still try to talk myself out of it. I read a horoscope for 2010 for me in which it said this:

"You seem to live within two entirely different perceptual frameworks, which alternate and at times conflict with one another. You might say you have two different value systems that are trying to function at the same time, independently of one another. I would propose that this split runs in two-month cycles. You seem to alternate in your goals and intentions a little more often than once per season, which constantly knocks you out of focus and seems to put you at cross-purposes with yourself."

Yeah, I totally do this, but it's more like WEEKLY.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

From "Fists Up:"

i have tried
my hopes have blossomed
and my hopes have fried,
i tried to cut them all down
but i found hopes were still living deep inside,
like a team of renegade lovers
working long hours sneaking around
with a belief in the life of our love,
like a light at the end at the end
of a long tunnel

"Half Of My Heart" gets an honorable mention, though I'm not sure why.

In other news, I decided to do a card reading* asking what I needed to know for 2010 and I about shit bricks seeing the thing. Let's just say it's not the sort of reading I get, it's the sort of dream reading that a traditional woman would want. Like, did the universe mix something up here, because this is the kind of thing that folks on my MATH-related mailing lists (swear to god, someone's engaged or pregnant every day for the last few years now) would get, not me. It promises new job, new home, HUSBAND (seriously, there is a marriage card and it showed up), "new family member"... though uh, for all I know that could be a stepfather and/or a puppy (I got a card about PETS in this deck/reading, for chrissake). Now, at least it wasn't the "giving birth" card to freak me out even more, but still.

Doesn't this seem a bit TOO MUCH for the course of one year? About the only thing I figure would happen would be the job one, because I suspect it's a strong slam dunk that I'll get the boot in 2010 (and this is why I dread 2010 and feel sick about the coming new year instead of hopeful). Now, it'd be nice to be offered a new job before the boot hits my ass, but how lucky is that and how likely is that? I don't know. And all of the rest of this just doesn't sound like me. I can't help but think that odds are I'll still be in the same place I usually am a year from now (only odds are higher I'll be livng at Mom's for good, god help me). What's going to stop that reality train? Freaking acts of God? I know I'm a tree-hugging hippie, but even I'm kind of like, "hey, wait a minute here, that is not logical."

Really, the only way this uh, bounty makes sense is if the dominoes towards those directions start falling in 2010 and this is why I got told it was a "need to know." But I kinda don't think I'd be likely to have a shotgun wedding this year either. *shudder*

And, ah...this is pretty similar stuff to other card readings with other decks I have been doing lately. I especially get the feeling that I'd better not make with the whoopie in 2010 because I'd get knocked up. Okay, not that this is likely between me being me, the existence of birth control, and it would take a major act of God for me to get to anything remotely related to that at this point, but still, YIKES. No, I haven't changed my mind on not wanting my own babies to exist, so it BETTER NOT MEAN THAT. Anything but me birthing babies (adoption, stepkids, sudden nieces/nephews, kids down the block) is fine, just not that one, thanks, universe.

Anyway...yeah, this stuff wigs me out and I don't know what to make of it. It just sounds way too good to be true here.

* angel deck. I loathe angel crap, but those are a lot easier to read than tarot when it comes to my own personal shit. I can debate on tarot cards for-EVER, but the angel deck is blunt. Syrupy, but blunt.

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