Dad went into the hospital AGAIN today. Same old shit as previously mentioned wrong with him, AGAIN. Three messages on my phone by the time it turned itself on, each growing progressively pissier.

The first message. As I'm listening to it and thinking, "THANK GOD I DIDN'T GO HOME YESTERDAY, because it'd be an even worse trainwreck if I was home for this," she says..."If you want to come home, I can come pick you up now."

By the second and third messages (left by her cell phone), I was hoping she'd have reconsidered this idea.

Hah.

She didn't say much when I called her- she was out to dinner with Evil Aunt and Uncle (other than being really, really PERKY for no discernable reason. She's out to dinner with THEM, and Dad's in the hospital, and now she's PERKY? And expecting ME to be perky?), other than "Your other aunt said she'd pick you up to come down here tomorrow. She can bring you back for work. They're all going to come."

Obviously, no will not be taken for an answer.

So much for not going home this weekend. They'll be on my doorstep bright and perky at 9:30.

I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE AND WATCH HIM DIE. I don't, I don't, I don't.

No, I don't know if this is "it" or not (again), but...goddammit. I feel like I'm going to spend the entire day crying and screaming. Especially at Evil Aunt and Uncle, if they're still around.

As for tonight, so much for going out. Instead I have to do everything I was going to do tomorrow in preparation for the week tonight.

Oh, and get drunk alone.

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry