Monday: back at work again, screwing things up again, found out errant programming means I have to redo more Important Documents AGAIN. I don't even feel like getting into that one.

Did hear back from Meg after I wrote her an angsty email over the weekend: "I can't imagine not wanting to at least be Scott's friend...I think he is afraid of relationships and you felt that fear. I am not sure it is about you. It is a difficult journey you are on...." I wanted to believe it was just that he's afraid of relationships. But you know what? No more making excuses and lying to myself that there's hope. He doesn't want ME, regardless of whether or not he wants a relationship. Mom texted asking how I was feeling and she said she agreed with Meg and that he seems unsure of himself when not acting/speaking/singing, which is true. She said if it's meant to be he'll have time to determine that and if not, I get over him. I said after three years, he's not going to, so....He has lost that lovin' feeling, as it were. I'm not quite as "nuke it from orbit" as I was today, but still feel like I need to quit.

I did email Robert about whether or not to go to Rocky Horror in Fairfield again this year, got a "maybe but we're pretty busy" to that from Robert, so that's a no.

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