Puzzling it through, why would you decide to take your girlfriend home for Thanksgiving? What possible rationalization could you have?

Rationalization: I want to marry her.

Counter: There is no reason you have to introduce your future wife to your parents. Elope. Vegas was built for a reason. What more treasured gift could you give to your future wife than removing the burden of in-laws?

Dad e-mailed me. "Just between us", he:

(a) made sure to tell me what a layabout lazy shiftless mooching bum Dave is, just to make sure that I knew

(b) said my ring looked like it came from a thrift store and let me know just how much he hated it

(c) said the FIRST thing Dave should do upon finding employment again is to go buy me a diamond. Right, that's more important than paying bills, sure.

(d) "You deserve a diamond." Someone's gonna need to go confiscate Dad's DeBeers crack pipe, or at least break a hole in his television sets.

Honestly, it was so much "show me the money" I wanted to puke. I'm surprised he didn't just tell me to go marry for money while he was at it.

I'm on crack even suggesting this, but I rather wish that I could just tell my parents the engagement is off and start lying to them about it again. They'd eventually shut up and I wouldn't be hearing them bitch about Dave's unemployment EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME I SPEAK TO THEM for awhile. We could tell them again in oh, a year or so, when they'd possibly calm the fuck down about it.

Oddly enough, Dave wasn't fazed by this at all when I finally called him back (I was ignoring the phone because I wanted to bite heads off), because he applied at a computer joint today and the manager was very impressed. "Tell them it's right next to several jewelry stores," he said. Well, I'm glad he's not seething the way I am, at least. And he got me out of my total bad mood.

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