Best of Holidailies
2007-12-27, 11:39 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
Oh, Holidailies. On the one hand, I am trying to catch up on all those dang posts everyone else does. On the other hand, I am less bored. Hmmmm.
I figured I'd mention a few people's entries that I've seen so far that I found interesting. Call it MY "Best of Holidailies," or at least stuff that made me think over the month.
John Mayer Stalks Your Airwaves. This just amuses me no end, especially since sometimes I've thought the same thing. Apparently this chick and I have a lot in common.
Actually, the one I think of often is John Mayer Is In Rolling Stone Almost All The Time. Seriously, I started subscribing a couple of years ago and noticed that his name got dropped (at the very least, even if it wasn't some kind of article about him) in every other issue. Dave Matthews, almost as much. But it's really upped, I'd swear he only skips a mention in every 4-5 issues now. They sure do seem to luuuuurve him there.
Oh, shut up about my musical taste. The boy is weird (even if his music isn't) and I appreciate that. He's the sort of fellow I would have dated back when he
That said, I'm slightly annoyed at her now because my brain is going places that I was trying to make it not go. Hah.
The story of L.C./Elsie is an "awww" one.
I used to be quite the attention whore in my own way back in college. I eventually learned how to stop it, though, by holding back. No longer playing "Shrink of the Day" with my friends or random people on the Internet blabbing on about my soap-operatic life. Not sharing everything. Not begging for attention on days when I was feeling low. Because in the end, was I satisfied with what they all gave me? Well, no, not entirely. Did the other people feel all drained dry and get downright sick of my behavior? Oh yes.
If you're feeling attention-whorey, the thing is that no other person is really going to satisfy that need, no matter what they do. The problem is something within you, that only you can really fix.
If it's possible to fix it. I'm not entirely sure if it is fixable. I know I'm better at it, but on the other hand, I am terrified that if I REALLY let myself go again I'd be just as bad as I was before. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I would. Some people of late have been all, "Uh, it's okay if you let loose a little," and my response has been, "Trust me, it's not. You won't like me when I'm needy."
I've been on both sides of the attention whore scale. I've sucked people dry, I've been sucked dry. The latter is incredibly unpleasant, and I do NOT want to go there again and do that to others again. Not if I can help it.
Even if "holding myself in" doesn't necessarily fix the problem at the root, at the very least it solves the symptom of annoying the fuck out of everyone that has to deal with me. And that's good enough.
This continues to be the best writing I've ever seen discussing neediness, btw.
Oh, drama junkie behavior. Yeah, I know that one. Though I don't consciously (as far as I can tell) try to draw drama in. Usually it seems to go along the lines of me thinking new person I just met is normal yet interesting, and then a few months to a year later, surprise.
"I must be bored or something. I can’t think why else I would be wallowing in other people’s issues. Wallowing, basking, drinking up the drama like it’s a fine Coke Zero. I think this unequivocally marks me as some with “Issues”. Why the hell can’t I take up a productive hobby, instead of grasping onto other people’s stories?"
I am turning into "the mean one" when it comes to people's drama though, and that's not good. I sent a Very Blunt E-mail to someone today that I'm not proud of, mainly because I don't think she is quite ready to take the Clue Bat yet (though to be fair, I think she's getting there slowly), and even if she was it's not an issue she can move fast on. It's not her fault that I'm sort of inundated with hearing Family Drama of a similar nature on one hand and hers on the other and I'm about to hit my limit on the topic. But keeping a lid on myself on this topic is getting harder, and I think I just blew here.
Then there's another friend of mine who has this one issue that well, portrays the definition of insanity (i.e. doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results). There's really no talking to her about the issue- she is going to keep doing it, she won't get what she wants from it unless she changes something and she won't, fine, WHATEVER. Her foot, her gun, it's not hurting anyone but herself there. The part where I am annoyed, though, is her saying, "You're going to do (such-and-such) for me with regards to this" the other day, and I was all, um, what now? You didn't even ASK me if I wanted to? Or knew how to do that, which I do not? The thing is, I know she's asking me because she's well, out of more reasonable people to enlist in The Quest That Will Never Happen. I don't feel like I can refuse without it getting ugly....dammit.
I can't say that I know all of what she went through this year (apparently we both joined the Dead Daddy Club), but I do relate to the numbness, and the burned out on caring, and the alone thing. And the holiday thing.
Great quote from here: "It's difficult to understand (and even more so to accept) that in essence, this journey is a solitary venture. That doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of times when you happily and thankfully share your journey with others. Hopefully the path you walk will be crowded with loving, supportive fellow travelers for a good long time. But you can't drag others along if they don't want to go, and you can't walk in the opposite direction just because you want some company. Ultimately, the path you are meant to take, the pace you are meant to move, the wisdom you are meant to discover and the ultimate destination are yours and yours alone."
As a native Californian, I totally laughed when I saw there was a prompt about have you ever had a winter without snow. As has been shown by my vacation postings, we would NOT know what to do if it snowed! We'd all be screwed!
This post amused me, and I rather wish I'd done one after reading it.
"Yes, we need a little Christmas
I am flabbergasted at the sheer number of potential entries she has here. Dayum.
Good last line here.
I relate to the stuck in the storm thing.