Chaos Attraction

A Quiet Eve Day

2023-12-24, 9:04 p.m.

Tonight's sleep: 6-ish hours because I woke up really having to pee, never lost consciousness again even though I went back to bed for hours. For reasons I do not understand, the bedroom I use at Roger's has turned frigid cold (it isn't usually and hasn't been any other year) and it's colder than my heat-free apartment, gaaaaaaaaaaah. I had enough blankets on so that wasn't a problem while sleeping, but getting up to get dressed sucked. Later on, apparently it just gets like that if you have the door closed now? This confuses me since I never ran into this issue before, but I guess I have to sleep with the door open now? Sigh. Oh well, they're down the other end of the hall and unlikely to disturb me. That said, if they get any Christmas nookie (I note Mom asked Roger what he wanted for dinner and he gave an amusingly X-rated answer, I cracked the hell up), good for them.

I wondered all day if Scott's gonna read it/respond, which, of course not. This is stupid of me, I know. He's a guy. He will never respond. It may not have shown up in the mail, he may not even read it. I doubt he would have read mail if he was busy all day and night the last week and for once they have work off the 24th and 25th, so theoretically he could...BUT HE WON'T BECAUSE HE'S A GUY AND GUYS ARE JERKS AND WE ALL KNOW THIS. I chose to blow this up for a reason, so I'd stop hoping. That said, every time I got a text from other people today....yeah, uck, that was a headfuck. And yet I'll probably still wonder tomorrow, too.

Otherwise we've mostly hung around the house talking, had some good talks with Roger and/or Mom when she was in the room about all my issues of late. They seem to be glad I'm looking into medical treatment and whatnot, Roger said it's good that I'm aware of what's going on instead of having no idea. Mom is pretty infuriated by all the shit they've put me through to get me to this point and how they won't give an inch about anything ever. Roger and I later talked about how hard it is to bring issues up with people, and how it took him a loooooooong time to just say something like, "You hurt my feelings," to Mom, she feels awful, they make up fifteen seconds later. I told him about the letter and I forget exactly what he said, something like, well if he responds, he does and if he doesn't, he doesn't. True enough.

Later we went out for a walk at one point and raided Little Free Libraries, and went out to Jack in the Box for dinner. Tonight we opened presents since SOME PEOPLE super sleep in in the mornings here (now that he can, and he wasn't doing pickleball today, Roger didn't emerge till 12:30 or so) and I'm probably going to have to leave mid-afternoon tomorrow.

Presents for me:
* a poncho and some shirts, a hair towel
* a maze puzzle and WaterPik I picked out yesterday (lord knows I'm not buying myself that last one)
* lights, a chocolate orange, yarn!
* blue butterfly earrings and necklace from Alicia (note: Mom said today Alicia thinks she has ADHD!)
* calendars and a stuffed corgi from Corgi on Fleek
* three books, including Amy Schneider's book (I enjoyed the ADD chapter) and one on first ladies
* THE LEGO MAGIC MAZE I WANTED--I'm glad I didn't go buy it myself after all, whew.
* Roger gave me quite a lot of money, specifying to only spend it on fun stuff and not savings. I have decided to use a chunk of it to go to the Winters New Year's event--now I don't feel guilty about paying for that.

Mom got Roger a bunch of clothes, massagers, a pinball calendar, and I "got" him Taylor Swift CD's (per Mom) and a shirt, which I picked the color out of. He seemed to like that, albeit I think he got weirded out at how much stuff she gets. We did have a conversation in the car to get the food about what a good person she is and how much she cares about others and how much stuff she gets for them.

Mom seemed to like what she got, albeit I felt like that SNL skit I saw last night where everyone else got great stuff and Mom only got a robe. She said it was fine, liked the scarf I made and the pocket hug, but I still felt bad. Roger got her a fancy purse and jewelry, so that was a happy.

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