Chaos Attraction


2023-12-23, 10:44 p.m.

Sleep update: one full pill of trazadone kept me asleep for nearly 8 hours, till I had to wake up to go to the bathroom. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Here is my snowflake. Very...partial.

Last night I continued to look at lists of "what to get for someone who doesn't want anything," and Amazon had suggestions of boxes of nothing, clear bubbles of nothing, notebooks that say you don't want anything, T-shirts that say you don't want anything. It is sadly too late for me to order any of these things online and I can't seem to find them sold in any real life stores, BUT I have this random plastic Chinese takeout box (it's clear, covered in hearts, for some reason) I picked up on the street. I wrote "Box of Nothing" on a fancy piece of paper and put it in there. BECAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER IDEAS.

I also did this online oracle card draw thing asking about the Scott situation and got a card that said "I'm Sorry." God, I wish.

I left in time to go to Scott's store right when they opened. Sure 'nuff, he wasn't in yet. Usually at least one of his parents is in there, but I saw his dad for like 5 seconds and then otherwise neither parent was out in the store, which threw me off. The employee running things was one I hadn't met before, so I just grabbed some bags of stuffing, used my coupon and GOT OUT OF THERE. That was ultimately the goal, but part of me wished I could have said goodbye to his parents, who I've always liked. But...I'm a crazy person, and also they might have wondered why I'm not dropping off gifts for him like I used to do at this time, so it's probably better I did not.

I admit I keep wondering if he's gotten/read the letter yet, but he's a guy, and guys are jerks, and even if he has (admittedly this might be a stretch this week since he works all day and has shows all night this week) or reads it later, he'll just ignore it. Oh well, the point of this was to set the whole thing on fire like a Gavle goat and end it forever, and hopes are ridiculous and bad.

Otherwise left, went to Roger's without issues. Had lunch, hung around the house for a bit. My aunt was apparently texting Mom that it's bizarre that work refuses to work with me or transfer me in any way because other places would do it. Yeah, not this one.

In the afternoon Mom wanted to go shopping--Walmart, Kohl's (she's still trying to figure out what to get Roger), Safeway. I needed some paper supplies to organize all of my messy psychiatric/work notes, so I got some clear sleeves for the old notes, dividers, more paper, things like that to create a binder when I get back. I also got Dawn some dachshund lights I found and bought Mom a coloring book at her request. She bought Roger Taylor Swift CD's (!!!) and I guess I'll be the one "giving" him those :P

We went out to dinner at a place called Extreme Pizza, which lives up to the name in having odd pizzas. The ones we got were well enough, albeit slightly weird (alas, their website is not remotely safe so I can't look up the ingredients to explain). Then we drove around looking at lights, then watched SNL's Christmas specials.

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