Zoom meetings today

* 18-minute work online birthday party event, where they ran out of things to do ah, very quickly. Though I was amused that Adriana sent out "Happy Birthday Name!" videos to all. I did my Office Sharing Day presentation of crafts (see craft blog, same thing) and that seemed to go over well. But that was about it. Adriana did find a sloth-themed birthday song video for someone and was sad that there are no Baby Yoda ones yet. I said "licensing issues" (this later led to yet another discussion of Why Jennifer Can't Sell Baby Yodas For A Living Because Disney Hunts Your Ass Down, which Lioness helpfully contributed to because we've had that one before) "but hey, maybe someone will figure something out to get around that."

* Half hour public service team meeting, in which it was announced that I'm the best hugger in the world and I am amazed that I didn't end up sobbing on that meeting (which I could not have muted myself on). That said, I did cry five times today otherwise.

* Another 2.5 hour "training meeting" with Tigress, which wasn't really since she had other stuff come in. I did a bit of practice on what I learned yesterday, attempted to get her Zoom working, but she had meeting fail. Oy, this drags on.

* Lunch pseudo-meditation class thing, 1 hour.

* Surprise 20 minute meeting with the boss because she said that Grandboss objected to the idea of international clientele not getting their documents and is there anything we can do about that? I pointed out that (a) mailing labels have to be processed THAT DAY, (b) you have to send the message to the shipping companies to pick up THAT DAY and you'd better do it in the morning, and (c) UPS is a bunch of flakeasses so who knows if they will even do that, sometimes they don't, and DHL will only do mornings anyway, and (d) our office is closed so how are they going to get in there? Logistically it means that the one coworker allowed to go into the office once a week is going to have to just stand around for hours at the front door of the building waiting for UPS in hopes they show up, which is impractical. And finally (e) I was ordering documents today and our document printing company had a big ol' notice about all the various countries where international mailing has already been shut down, so don't order anything to go there, they won't do it. So international mail may no longer be an option in general. Sigh. Though she did tell me that she's moving New Temp Sarah to my work group (except for phone shifts) so I am not 100% alone here, thank GAWD. Good job, boss.

I am grateful to not be dealing with work tomorrow. I've had enough.

Quotes from the office:
* High Horse on his birthday (after mine): "I might just sit in my house by myself." Same thing we do every week, Pinky!
* My coworker (I really need a good alias for her but haven't thought of one yet...she has a distinctive name though so I won't use her given online) broke out her stuffed penguin and said, "I have my coworker with me today. I have no pets or children, I need something." She followed up later with her entry for Sharing Day, "I guess I could show you all my shoe collection."
* Tigress told New Temp Sarah, "You gotta boogie on the left side of your nostril" and then was all, "It was a joke!"
* Tigress brought up going to Blake Shelton concerts and said he was drunk at the first one she went to. "He had waaaay too much in that red solo cup."

In other news, I saw a cockroach this morning in my bedroom. I did not name it or get anywhere near it and it seems to have disappeared since then, thank gawd. But even weirder, in the afternoon I heard a loud buzzing and thought, "what the hell is that? It sounds like a yellowjacket in here, but that can't be it, maybe it's some noise outside or something the neighbor is doing." NO, IT WAS A FUCKING YELLOWJACKET IN MY LIVING ROOM. WHAT THE FUCK. How the FUCK did a fucking YELLOWJACKET GET INTO MY APARTMENT when I haven't left it since the 12th? Maybe a moth flew in, but they're quiet and hide in the light fixtures. You notice the racket that is a yellowjacket. How the hell did this thing get in?!?! At least it left after I opened the screen door and stood there until it left (at least the neighbor wasn't out). Jeebus, wtf? Mysteries of quarantine.

Watched Arne and Carlos today and the knitalong is back on, with a new piece, which I think answers what I'm going to do for my birthday project party tomorrow. And speaking of:
(a) Vera offered to have another spinning group hangout at lunch, so there's something to do.
(b) Emailed Meg about playing Transformation Game tomorrow, haven't heard back yet since I've been a little late on that stuff today,
(c) Mike and Jess are keeping it up with the amusing cards and asked if they could get me a digital subscription to something. Disney +?
(d) Claire sent out the invite to the party tomorrow and I likewise sent it out to the Winters folks. We'll see if anyone shows up.

I also got an invite to read plays aloud on May 7, so I signed up for that one.

Tonight I went to the "Dirty Thursday: Prince Tribute Party" on House of Yes. I love how they said you didn't have to log into Zoom or turn your camera on to watch the show if you didn't want to. So it was a DJ'd show of Prince tunes, obviously. I didn't necessarily find them all jamming enough that I felt like getting up to dance to ("Here I sit in my lonely room, waiting for my sunshine" seemed a little too relevant, lyrics-wise), but watching other folks dance around is fun. One had a light up hula hoop, so good job there. Some folks had lights and/or disco-ish backgrounds going on. I broke out my disco light spinny thing and portable disco ball, but didn't feel very jammy anyway. Then the video started showing the sexy dancing in no pants...or hot pants...or bra....I am not screenshotting that. Did appreciate the shirtless guy dressing like Prince though. One couple was...playing backgammon...to this.

I admit I did not feel very dance-y most of the time--more like occasionally, and at some points I was sort of dancing from the waist down while cross stitching, which should tell you something weird about me. Though I am thinking I am not a super expert on Prince music apparently and not all of it was as dance-y as I would have felt like, I guess. But watching the shows of people dancing, what outfits they had on, their pets, etc. was entertaining. Zoom Safari and all that.

On a fun note, Mom called me up after this to tell me that a guy I went to high school with "is kind of being a little shit" and tried to run someone else over with his car. I am not surprised that the guy is being a little shit because he was a memorable lulu in Family Living class back in the day and I'm still surprised his wife (who I also went to high school with and seemed more sensible) hasn't divorced him yet. Literally, when Mom brought them up, I was all, "are they getting a divorce?" No. But damn, running over with a car?!

Then I started watching Twelfth Night, which has a fancy rotating staircase sectioned set and Viola in a hospital bed and a fancy old car onstage.
* I give them props for having a tomboyish (or at least, short-haired) Viola who passes for a short guy. I like her ironic laugh when "a woman's part" is said.
* Waaaaaait a minute, did I just see some sexual chemistry between Sebastian and Antonio? They almost kissed. That's new to the plot. How's that gonna work out later?
* Olivia and her ladies all put on sunglasses and pose in black coats and look all attitude-y when Viola comes in with her guitar.
* This ah, weird drunken dance party bit they have going on is very strange....
* We now have a "Malvolia" who reminds me of Viola Swamp. At one point she starts stomping around in a live wet fountain, very wet, wearing a white blouse....boobies pretty well on display there....
* There is an actual... tiny pool or I guess spa on stage?! Viola is looking at a tiny pair of shiny boxer swim trunks like, "How am I going to deal with this?"
* On a related note with wet white shirts, Viola ends up falling in the tiny pool and IMMEDIATELY turns her back to Olivia and is clearly thinking, "Shit! Shit! My chest is wet! She's going to see!" That ain't normally in the Shakespeare.
* I have decided that should I ever get to be in Twelfth Night, I should like to play Olivia. Viola is my favorite, but I'm not that into playing a dude for most of the show, I guess? Also, Olivia gets a bit crazier as things go on, that looks fun.
* Oh heyyyyy, I forgot that Viola had a twin running around, it's been so long. He's riding around on a bike and getting assaulted for some reason at the start of act 2?
* So Malvolia not only has the cross garters, she's wearing a huuuuuuuuuuuge white dress and then throws it off to reveal a yellow tutu ensemble and goes down the stage like she's suddenly in a Broadway number. Then she strips off the bit of tutu and is now down to a bathing suit with... things coming off the nipples.... THEY ARE PROPELLERS AND SHE MAKES OLIVIA TOUCH HER BOOBS TO SET THEM OFF. MALVOLIA HAS NOW BECOME KATY PERRY.
* Best Malvolia entrance EVER, but you gotta be a special level of crazy to think that level of wooing would work.
* Olivia stands awkwardly.
* I do love how Sir Andrew took his sword, stabbed it through the topiary, and and then posed in the most dirty way possible.
* Viola goes for her crotch when referencing her lack of manhood. I almost expected her to pull out a sock per "One Man, Two Guv'nors."
* What is with this neon....elephant.... bar.....?
* I thought the "to be or not to be" speech was in another play....not sung, in a shiny cape....?
* Meanwhile, Sebastian runs into Sir Andrew and beats him down in about five seconds. I enjoyed that very much.
* "I am no more mad than you are," says Malvolia, still in That Outfit.
* Shakespeare certainly does love saying,"I am an ass."
* Viola's sudden "wait, I'm getting married?!" reaction.
* Sir Andrew with his red hair down and ‘tude head is reminding me of Tim Minchin.
* OMG THERE’S TWO OF THEM! I love how people in Shakespeare are too stupid to notice a height difference. Also how the two of them have to literally hash out that they’re related.
* Okay, now that they’re next to each other, they actually aren’t that far off in height. Good job, casting.
* Orsino is really enjoying this.
* Viola just fucking CLIMBED HIM on stage to make out.
* Let’s face it, that’s always been an out-of-nowhere pairing on Orsino’s end. It really reminds me of As You Like It in the “let’s hope he’s bi” sense of the word.
* The whole Malvolia plot in a nutshell: first it was funny and now it’s just sad.
* Waaaaait a minute: Malvolia just whipped off her wig and became a blonde. WTF?
* Orsino just planted one on Sebastian, not being able to tell the difference. WTF?
* What is with this sudden emo ending with everyone in the dark and angsty and one guy hugging a teddy bear? It ends on Malvolia and....yeah, that was a weird way to end.

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