5/22/23 entry:

Today's serial killer update: not much happened at court because they're investigating if he's sane enough for this. He was heard muttering that he didn't want a lawyer. Not real bright of him to do that, methinks. They scheduled three more court dates, about two weeks apart.

Other than that, quiet day at work at home except for someone pulling the fire alarm here. I sat through a three hour presentation on international clientele that I don't work with, at least one of which frankly could have been cut, because after the first 1.5 hours they were clearly killing time by yakking about every detail of their office, down to their upcoming volleyball game. Volleyball game?!

Ashley canceled on karaoke, asked if I could it tomorrow. NOPE. Can't talk to Melinda tomorrow either, have given up on rescheduling.

Ironically, I have nothing to do tonight and am thus on the patio, crocheting and watching Jury Duty, interspersed with "Sprung" (another Greg Garcia show about criminals). This may be my last "day off," might as well enjoy it. I did finish compiling my TnT quotes and publishing journal entries, so there's that.

(a) Asking on my non-reactions to gummies: she said take a whole gummy while trying to sleep, and as for the anxiety ones, did I test that while actually in a state of anxiety (well, no). She said after a couple of hours you should feel some kind of "everything's ok" whoosh, and to test it after being anxious about something that isn't work, or at least go walk around. And if another half one doesn't work, take a whole one.

(b) Re: seeing Scott: said I can have the connection but not the relationship and I can feel the connection when he's hugging like that, if it feels good to be hugged by him and I don't have opportunities to see him much, I shouldn't skip that. I should enjoy what he does give me even if it's limited, said I need it (grrr) and I seem to do better when seeing him on an emotional level. She said I'm doing a beautiful job of letting myself get what I need even though it's difficult--I dunno there. She likened it to a food addiction rather than alcohol (i.e. something you can totally abstain from). And that he hugged me like that because he did notice I was gone.

She did also say, with great caveats and implied "don't really hope on this one" stuff, that "just because it's limited now doesn't always mean it will be limited in the same way" and that she's not as black and white on this as I am.

Work: You know what? There is this lady with a PhD who I swear, spends all her time telling me to do petty stupid fixes. She spent a gajillion dollars and got a PhD to spend her time emailing me over and over again to fix petty stupid shit. Which I also spend all day long doing, but at least I didn't rack up grad school debt in order to be a shitty clerical worker.

Other than that: boring shit, too many emails.

Spamalot callback: took about an hour to get over there, so wheee, traffic. Oh well. Coulda been worse (I note normal drive is 45). Everyone there was super nice. There were five women altogether--the other two being hot redheads who were only there for Lady of the Lake, one of them was in Newsies recently (Cassie). We all had to sing bits from "Whatever Happened To My Part?" a song I like, but seriously, I do not have this level of belting chops at this moment in time. I said I wasn't going for this part, thanks very much.

I did warn her I had another audition this week but there weren't many women parts and we'll see how it goes. She said basically I can get in anyway. That said, she'll have another callback on Tuesday with men and women because she wants to pair people together. She said ensemble is in every scene except for changing and women will be playing knights at some point.

Not sure how this is going to go, but I was out by 7:15 and then did my due diligence on getting gas and groceries, ka-ching.

I'M TAKING A FULL GUMMY TONIGHT. We'll see how that goes.

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