Finally got around to catching up on the last Arne and Carlos daily blog. Porridgegate has now been resolved and now they are moving onto Smoothiegate, i.e. will Carlos continue to get smoothies? Alas, that is now on hold for a month while the guys take a break for illness. And there is also Foxgate, i.e. "what does the fox say?" They have heard plenty of foxes, but are debating on what they heard. Uh-huh. Carlos claims bird, Arne is now claiming "moose, or eagle." Oh, these petty quarantine arguments! Such fun for us loners to watch!

Today I clicked on the YouTube link and it came up with some video on "10 Signs You And Your Crush Will End Up Together." Am pretty sure I was doing youtube.com rather than something else, but there you go. Though I did get annoyed when it was all "if he's interested, he should text back quickly." Well, SOMETIMES.

I uploaded my 'sampler platter" Deconstruction video, which I will probably unlist after the whole Deconstruction thing is over and it's been passed around on the list to see. I'm amused that YouTube picked the most ridiculous shot (me in bonnet and tie-dye) as the front picture. It decided that all on its own, y'all.

You know, we wouldn't nearly have this much Zoom fatigue if we weren't FORCED to stare at our own damn faces the entire time with no way to avoid staring at our faces. It's really off-putting to have to stare at my own head and everything I goddamned do and monitor it. Like this morning I woke up way too early and decided to record the full Deconstruction video on Power Point, which was boring AF but I had to sit there and monitor it because I had to go click on things to get them to work. I just couldn't stand to look at myself on the side any more and left the duct tape over the camera for the whole thing. It's an hour and 25 minutes long, damn. Not sure what I am going to do with it, most likely nothing. It's got tons of swearing so I don't think I can post it publicly on YouTube, and for various reasons that is probably not a good idea anyway. So private it stays, and that's fine by me. I'm just proud I made it even if it's not for the consumption of others. I'd post it if I wasn't afraid of what nutbars on the Internet would do, but nutbars will be nutbars.

On to work: we apparently get 60 phone calls a day, so 30 per person, and people are still getting cussed out and screamed at. There was another Internet outage today (don't get Comcast if you live here, folks) and some lady called up yelling that it was up to us to fix it. Coworker Sarah politely replied that she'd bring this up to her supervisor, technically did so, and then it was all "well, it'll get fixed when they can." Oh brother. And the portals are huge again. Seriously, I do not think it was a good idea to open the phones.

Grandboss on her move to Ohio: "Ohio's kind of boring anyway. If not for grandbabies it would not be my destination location." Also, "Where I'm located right now is where they filmed Shawshank Redemption."

I had a nearly 4 hour (sigh) training session with Tigress today. However, this went a lot better than usual. Coworker Sarah (previously mentioned as New Temp Sarah) has been moved to our unit in the afternoons, so she was training too and she is a cheerful delight to be around. Quotes from her today.

To her kid: "Because the screen is gonna melt your brain."
"I'm just throwing peanuts at my kid." (to her kid) "You're not even trying to catch it."
When talking about whoever runs a marathon in the backyard or whatever: "All I did was add milk to my trail mix, and I was really excited about it."

I was also disappointed to hear that the bear that was roaming through town (a) had apparently been dubbed "Gilligan" for finding some island (where?!?) to hide out on, was hit by a car on the freeway and died. WTF? Seriously, how did that even happen these days when nobody is ON the freeway? And you couldn't swerve? I've heard it's terrible damage just from hitting a deer (so says Mike, Jess's husband), can you imagine the fucking damage from your car hitting a bear?! Whoever their mechanic is is SO gonna know who it is.

After work, I had a rehearsal. I signed up to read plays for the teen theater fundraiser in my town on Thursday and they had a last minute rehearsal just to try out the whole thing and see how it's going to work. I was pleased to see that Robert and (Actor) Jim also signed up and were in this, though they are able to do it earlier in the night than I am. They are doing 4 hour blocks, so thanks to my work schedule I had to sign up for the last 8-midnight shift. Oh well, it's not like I sleep anyway. But I was pleased that SOMEONE reads my emails when I send these out to people in Winters.

Anyway, the rehearsal was a bit tricksy. They don't know how many people are going to be reading on the day, whether or not people flake out vs. last minute people showing up. The idea is to assign a number to each person and then say, #1 reads the first person's name in the script and reads that character from there on in, #2 reads the second character listed, #3 does the third, etc. But when say, you've got people 1-4 reading something and a fifth character comes up, #1 reads that one too, #2 reads #6, etc. The practice script we read was from Peter and the Starcatchers...which has a ton of characters showing up and wandering in and we were all confused as to "uh, what number are we on to read the next character?" That's why they picked that one, of course. I was thinking, "My kingdom for a damn highlighter." Unfortunately, given the "we have no idea how many people will be reading," there's no way for them to set up anything more clear as to who is doing what ahead of time. That's kinda irritating. The one suggestion was that people should paste in the chat who is reading what. I may have to do that.... see below.

Also awkward: they asked my group over email over the weekend if someone would "host." I had no idea what they meant by this and I assumed they meant like, Zoom hosting and I have a work account so I can go for four hours, so I said okay, fine, I'll do it. Then got an email saying no, that's not it, we have hosting set up already. At which point I was all, shrug emoji, okay fine, I'm going to ignore this then? No, apparently host means you run the room, assign the numbers, etc. Erp. I would not have volunteered for that if I knew that was what it entailed....

This fundraiser thing is going to stream online, which I mentioned to Mom and of course she had no interest. I continue to be annoyed that even though she is a theater person and attends the theater, she only gives a shit about any of my performances like....once in a while. Like, didn't even ask where I was doing it or anything when she called today. She was more interested in what I am eating-- "nothing fresh?" No, seriously you still haven't gone to the grocery store? Maybe I should take photos of the cabinet contents? I could eat fresh and healthy, or I could catch coronavirus. Hm, gee, choices choices. I can't decide.

(On a related note, I got another book package in the mail and a shipment of stamps, which will also sit around for another week at the door.)

Today's tarot reading: Really, should I be believing stuff like this? Like over and over it's "I want to be with you, wait for me, we're going to sometime," but that has to be bogus for a ton of people. Seriously, the whole "twin flame" shit thing just drives me crazy. Someday I am going to write a giant bitchrant on this topic.

Anyway, this Truth Tea video (deck 1) is far more likely. “They’re just not open to it. You cannot persuade them to be open to it.. You cannot convince them.” Nothing you do is going to make the difference. They’re not able to receive the love that you’re offering, "it feels like too much pressure for them right now," so you should just step back.

Seriously: I keep pondering whether or not to take action--it's not like it's going to really do much damage to send another pointless poking text, even if I keep it at group level--but what I keep coming back to is the very strong feeling that it's all pointless, he'll either just ignore it or say nothing much, and I'm just going to get pissed off at myself all over again because I tried and didn't take the hint.

You know what? If people don't want to talk, you can't make them talk. You can't make your friends do group activities over the Internet if they don't wanna. And I am strongly leaning towards just not even bothering trying to talk to him again until quarantine is over (if it ever is). It all seems incredibly pointless and maybe the lesson here is just to let it all go.

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