I'm so tired of being cold (and wet). I'm so tired of my winter warmies wardrobe and putting on MORE sweatshirts and sweatpants BECAUSE I AM SO COLD. I actually sat around outside for an hour (still freezing) today to pretend it was warm.

One of my former temp coworkers--the most recent one--got hired elsewhere. Good for her!

In office day, same old, same old, can't really think of anything interesting I did beyond downloading and printing knitting patterns and reading up on passive suicidal ideation and drafting letters to Ask A Manager that I'll probably never send. I did work on the maze scarf again and didn't fuck it up much, yay. I also took a "do you have autism" test (I do NOT!) and a "do you have ADHD" test (moderate!). Seriously, every time I read the list of autism symptoms, I am just baffled as to why people think I have it. I got none of that.

I read this NYT article: In Her Dream, a Premonition and Then a Double Proposal "In 2020, four years since their first date, Ms. Carswell started having premonitory dreams of Ms. Wynn walking back into her life once again. “I was so tired of dating, so the night before I meditated, said a prayer and asked the universe to show me who I’m supposed to be with, and it showed me Alison.”

How come when I pray to God, I get NOBODY?!? ... because I'm not supposed to be with anybody, clearly. Again: why did I get so many signs about this guy if I meant nothing to him and never would and I'm not lovable to him?!?!? Literally the only thing psychics get right is that he'll never love me, but nobody else will either, apparently.

Mom called tonight--Evan's bailing on Easter, of course. Then Ashley called and we made a lot of bad jokes about her heart issues. "My heart's a big ol' ball of Olaf, I just keep melting and returning."

Now my neighbors are playing some kind of loud oompah music? So much for going to bed tonight.

I put a letter in the mail to Cameron yesterday circa 10 a.m. and got another brief one for her today, mailed Tuesday. This is the second time this kind of overlap has happened (nothing major, just happy Easter/chicks/bunnies), I find it amusing. Reminds me of this Mark Twain story:

So I decided to write out my confessions to Scott. Everything bad I want to say to him, everything bad he did, and I did. I hand wrote it (what a mess), put it in an envelope, addressed to to myself, put the "from" address as Mom's one. I'm going to literally mail it to myself, put it out into the universe, sends only back to me so I don't get into trouble and he doesn't ever actually see or read it--and if he actually wants to talk to me about this shit, then psychically, I've put it out there, haven't I. It's psychically up to him, a fellow without no instincts or witchiness, if he wants to. Or cares. Or thinks about it or wonders. I'll give it a week. I already cut the cord on him a second time and it worked, so I doubt it'll do anything, but at least it got my ya-yas out. I probably won't be seeing him anyway, so it's all moot, but I got my rant out.

And now I think I will finally finish off watching For All Mankind. I really should go to bed early after two days of not sleeping much at all, but not sure if I can sleep through the oompah band music crap. ... Well, maybe I'll just watch more YouTube and then go to bed, not get that involved in FAM. It's the finale and an hour and a half long and I was going to start it earlier, then I got all the phone calls.

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