Chaos Attraction

And Even More Dental Drama

2009-03-09, 1:30 p.m.

So they made me come in today for a normal examination. (Why they can't just do all this stuff at once, I'd like to know.)

Anyway, it was the most THOROUGH one I ever had in my life. Cleaning? They didn't even DO cleaning. After handing me the numbing mouth stuff, I got told that they were going to do EIGHTEEN X-rays. I got through seven (alas, one can only numb the tongue so far with that stuff). Then I got poked for a very long time. I was in there for 2 1/2 hours.

Of course, everything is bad and wrong with my mouth. That's no surprise, it never is. People wonder why I don't want to go to the dentist, but it tends to be a giant case of "Everything is wrong, please brush better, what do you mean you can't? Your teeth are gonna fall out any second now." Nothing but bad news about a problem that can't be fixed because nobody on this earth can stop me from gagging uncontrollably if anything but food heads towards the back of my mouth.

So he came up with a long program of stuff to do (alas, suppressing the gagging is still a 'nobody knows how' situation), of course there's cavities that need filling because I always have them, blah blah you need SUPERcleaning, blah blah here's a prescription for a LOT of tranquilizers 'cause you're gonna need 'em, blah blah you need supercleaning, blah blah you really should come in every 3 months for a checkup even if your insurance won't cover it because you're THAT bad.

Then came leaving. And finding out that after getting the crown, my insurance is maxed out for 2009. And she showed me the estimated bill for the continued work. I about passed out. Suffice it to say that my entire life savings would be cleaned out to pay for it. I wanted to shoot myself because death would be the only way out of paying for my horrible mouth.

Seriously, kill me now.

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