Today is the thirteenth anniversary of my dad's death. Frankly, he felt like he was gone to me a long time before that, so to me it's more like twenty years. That's all I have to say about that. I'm glad he no longer suffers, still.

I went to the gym for two hours, I weigh less than I thought I did (huzzah, that’s kind of a miracle since it’s winter and I can’t exercise as often and I assumed I gained it all back. Clearly I can’t actually tell if I or anyone else gains/loses weight unless it’s drastic.), and then I hung out with Melinda in the afternoon. This was interesting on many levels, mostly because I found out she has a psychic friend (“seer”), Wendy, in LA who she asked about me and my love life.

Now, I really wanted to get excited about that, BUT....of course, things did not go well with regards to me, because it never does. Sometime I just want a good prediction about me already and it never happens.

The stuff Wendy got, alas, wasn’t great for me. “1930’s demure redhead?” she said. To which I was all, well, she’s not a redhead, but the other crush is. Other than the wrong hair, describes Cameron perfectly. Wendy forecasts that I’ll get love...in another three years. Unclear if it’s with this one or not. It is Melinda’s assessment/prediction/whatever that I won’t end up with this one, but will find somebody else, and also he isn’t ready yet, blah blah the usual on that one.

Melinda did say that Wendy is not always accurate, as she got good feelings about Melinda moving to the UAE with regards to love in 2011, but Melinda didn’t end up meeting her Internet boyfriend who is now in the UAE while she was living there (I guess she left and he arrived 2 months later), so who knows on all the details. Or actions or paths might change. Or something. Wendy’s current prediction for Melinda is that her boyfriend will make it her sooner than they think, in some unexpected fashion. I hope for her sake because right now it sounds unlikely.

Why can’t I get a prediction like that, huh?

Oh, and both of them apparently got a bad vibe about the idea of me coming up here for New Year’s a few weeks ago, saying “he was in a bad mood that day.” Okay, fine (though to be fair, who isn’t in a bad mood at New Year’s?), I didn’t anyway, though I would have liked to have heard someone mention that one as a good reason not to go and not just "that's drunk driver night."

Anyway, I said that under the circumstances maybe I should work on getting over this whole thing if it’s not going to happen and nothing is going to happen for three years (god, EVEN MORE WAITING?!). Melinda was all “hey, whoever it is is going as fast as they can,” and “trying to get over something never works anyway,” and “you’re in this for a reason.” Just be there when it’s okay to be there but don’t try to force anything.

Okay, fine. I guess. Sigh.

Seriously, I feel like I am wasting so much of my life just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. I would move on to someone else if I could just get interested in other people easily, but I don’t.

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry