Chaos Attraction

Women's Storytelling Festival, Day 1

2021-03-19, 9:45 p.m.

Welp, the end of my day had Some Drama.

So yesterday we found out that two people's Important Documents were mixed up in the mail. They had similar names and situations and the printer mixed them up. For once it was actually not our (re: my) fault, which was nice, and we had the receipts to prove it, the printer said they'd send them new ones immediately at no charge to us, etc. But apparently both of these people were "very aggressive on the phone" and one of them "left an explicit message" in the public email box, which of course I interpreted as polite phrasing for "cussed us out to hell and back again."

Well, one of our younger employees/my buddy asked me today about it--she was going through the public email box--and I said she's getting a new one in a few days, etc. and my buddy was all "I feel so bad for her, she's been through a lot." To which I thought, "Uh, getting the wrong Important Document couldn't have been THAT traumatizing." (Except in my job, people just go crazy on me, so someone screaming you out for that is....typical.) And then my buddy informed me of, well... I would definitely not say what happened on the Internet, other than it was one of those shitty situations that very often happen to women. And she apparently took getting the wrong document as some kind of one last slap in the face from another area of my giant org that done her wrong decades ago. Oh good lord. To which I was all, "oh no, that was just a mixup, not some kind of intended slight on the part of the giant org at all, we didn't even do that." I think both my buddy and I were in incandescent rage mode after hearing this.

Other than that, mostly it was Hope and I grumbling about how nobody did the mailing again this week, as we both had people begging to get their Important Documents (which should have been mailed months ago!!!) and we looked at the spreadsheet and nobody did any this week while in office. Hope got annoyed enough to complain to our boss, who in turn complained to the in-office staff, who thought someone had done it. Um. So we gonna have a meeting about this next week. But seriously, I don't know what the hell to do about it short of volunteering myself to go in--and hell no, not doing that. I've been almost entirely locked in for the last two weeks and I only just went out to take out trash and deal with the mail this afternoon, so the agoraphobia continues. It will be interesting to see if the pandemic agoraphobia goes away--and if so, how much-- in 26 days.

In other news, there was a sudden very hard rainstorm here today, and then within 5 minutes it had stopped and was even sunny. It has been a weird weather week, hence being shut in :P

Oh yeah, and I saw auditions at DMTC today for Shrek: The Musical, on Zoom. Tons of ensemble parts (and frankly, that's all I'd want to do in that one), but what the real selling point here was that they said we could just sing along to a karaoke video online. To which I was all YESSSSSSSSSSS because I cannot figure out how to sing along to accompaniment with a pianist and sheet music (as you might recall, that shit has been difficult at TnT and for Robin Hood--pianists have so much unpredictability!), I haven't done it and I don't know how in a live audition. But if I can do it with just a karaoke video? HECK YES. So I have signed up. They only want you to do about a minute of some musical theater song not from the show, so I've decided to do "Helpless" from Hamilton--Eliza's opening of the song. Since let's face it, my selling it at karaoke is acting things out, I can do that one QUITE well and enthusiastically.

I think just "generic villager" is probably fine for me here. According to this I think either Mama Bear or the Wicked Witch (assuming I'm the hammiest around, har) would do for me.

Mom said that the day after her shot she did start to get the chills and feel like she was getting the flu, but she was all better by 9-10 p.m. and she feels fine today. Did I mention that the callbacks are the day after my shot? (Eeeeeek.) Evan is in town for a Catholic wedding so she's home alone with her clogged toilet. (I gather the wedding is about 10 people.) He's supposed to be getting his second shot first. He didn't know what crossing yourself is supposed to mean and Mom translated that for him into "spectacles, testicles, wallet and comb." I have found out that there are TWO Deacon Daves in town (the other one being in this wedding and was asked if he was THE Deacon Dave) and the second one has a wife. I feel sorry for the lesser Dave in this town.

Earlier in the day, Mom had texted me some article about some woman who literally does a podcast twice a day: at 11:11 a.m. and 11:11 p.m. And while it doesn't mention the whole "11:11" thing otherwise in the article, I was all "oooookay then, here it goes again." She had no idea on the whole thing, so I had to explain it to her tonight. I said that as far as I can tell nobody really seems to know what' that stuff means, and Mom labeled this as "you are becoming aware of things, you notice things more."

This weekend's activity: Women's Storytelling Festival! Thankfully this one's on YouTube all weekend (and up secretly for 2 weeks) so I can run things back.

Donna Washington was back, doing her Hansel and Gretel prequel story again. It's really marvelous, and this time I watched it from the getgo knowing where it was going.
Sarah Snyder told a story about how "sheep are the devil's spawn," and how they used to live on a farm and got some particularly evil sheep--"They'd actually be adorable if they weren't possessed" and "I knew they were a royal pain," and her relationship even broke up for a while over the sheep. Eventually she got rid of them and they got married instead. So, yay.

Sheila Arnold got to talking with an Muslim Uber driver and he told her this story that he heard from his iman. ('Yes, I do not know how a ship came into the desert either. But it is part of the story.") Sheila said she's heard it from her preacher, and a lot of people have heard that story everywhere, from various religious figures to Toastmasters. "See, we have more in common than we have difference!" he declared.

Lynette Ford: had a clever story about a 9 year old making a deal with the devil for her soul--but he can't come until she's 99. Let's just say the devil wasn't smart enough to figure out she just pulls the sole out of her shoe and he has to deal with it. Heh heh heh.

Mary Theresa Archbold: trying to get her 4 year old into some NYC school, NOT being super rigid (and mostly distracted about it), realizing who cares, really?

Mo Reynolds: quotes from her mom: "Morgan and I are just sitting here getting our pedophiles." "I honestly don't know anything Elena taught us about chakras. Because I had just heard my mother yell PENIS to a complete stranger on a packed Italian train. And really, my life has kind of gone downhill since then."

Jessica Robinson: talked about losing her virginity and how non-fun that was and "I just lost mine to a guy who doesn't care?" It's...kinda rapey.... She didn't actually say no, but she hinted no, he kept going... Oh man.

Sarah Brady: her husband's doing a medical residency and well, wives get shit on, apparently. Her husband misses their daughter's birthday because he discovered something wrong on a kid and that kid could have died that night.

Vijai Nathan: has a boy's name that means victory, "From the day I was born I was all. about. war." She's a fan of Durga and Kali. "What's the scariest thing a goddess of learning could wield, a protractor?" She realizes that her mom wanted more than this provincial life, but keeps insisting that Vijai be domestic. Finally she hears her mom say, "Let's kill him with a rock." It was a rat. "She was more complex that I had ever imagined. She was a domestic warrior goddess." Love it.

Jennifer Kamara calls herself an "absurdity magnet." I should use this. Anyway, she tells a totally creepy story about a cop very forcibly putting the mack on her while she's trying to get home after hanging out in a bar. Aieeeee. At least she got out of it eventually.

Kim Weitkamp: her dad gave up performing and Kim never quite got why, and wrote a song about it.

MJ Kang: talked about moving from Korea to Canada as a kid, her dad's degree being invalidated and he can't get the same kind of job he used to have, them not having money for coats, etc. Awww.

Cindy Rivka Marshall: told a story about a woman stealing bread for her starving children, getting arrested and the king wants her put to death...and then she gets the idea to claim that the pomegranate seed in her pocket is magic, but it can only be planted by someone who's never stolen. Literally everyone, including the king, has, and once he realized even he can't live up to his laws, offers her food and saves her life.

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