Chaos Attraction

Much Ado About Wil

2021-03-22, 10:04 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Today was Mailing Day, as we had conversations about making sure as many Important Documents got mailed as we could get out today, before another giant order of them come in next mailing day. All well and good, other than some are inexplicably missing from the office (why....sigh).

And then there was this asshole. Important Document lost in the mail, we reordered another one he had to pay for, he has to pay extra for a tracking number so it has to come to the office. Unfortunately for me, his lost one also came back in the mail, damaged. Now, if I had been in the office and it was up to me, I wouldn't have said a damn thing about this to him. Original one is damaged, money's already been spent on a replacement, which is already here and not damaged, plus he's international which means HUGE amounts of drama the later they are. (And they are always late, because international mail makes me CRY.) Nothing international can wait, much less another 1.5 months to have a fresh one reprinted, re-sent here, and re-mailed out AGAIN. However: the onsite manager asked me to ask him if he wants to order another original.* I had A Bad Feeling About This, and DID NOT WANT TO, and I was absolutely right.

Whenever you have to reorder a second one of these, it has to have "reissued" labeled on it, "in tiny letters that are easily covered up by a frame." A lot of people act like this is a MORTAL SHAME. Y'all, I have reissued ones. It's not shameful. If you frame it, nobody knows. Chill out. Also, there is a regulation saying that you can only have one of these at a time. You are not permitted to have "a second copy for your office," or to keep for yourself and send the other to the government, or for your grandma, or whatever else you wanted. We hate this rule, but it's above our heads. Also if your "original" somehow comes back here damaged, you are permitted to order another one without the dreaded "reissued" text on it. Hence the problem.
Dude asked to have BOTH documents sent to him, even if it's damaged, please, he's had such a stressful time, he didn't get what he wanted in life due to pandemic, he's been waiting for so long, he (rightfully) doesn't trust the international mail (and he shouldn't, international mail is excruciating) etc. etc. etc. I had to tell him no, because stupid rule. Then he ripped me several new assholes, demanded to see photographs of the document, demanded to see documentation of the policy so he could review it VERY thoroughly, he's very ticked off at our office.... I read this aloud to my boss and she was all, "He's having a bad day." Yeah, well, so am I now. Anyway, I informed my manager and the onsite manager of all of this and they were going to discuss it later, I forwarded this on to mine, etc.


She said something about how you get used to it, but you know what? I've never gotten used to being screamed at, even if it's just over email. I've never gotten calloused over it, I've never habituated to it. 40+ years of being screamed at and it still bothers me like it's the first time, every time. No matter how much I tell myself that my job is to take abuse, it never stops bothering me deeply and fundamentally, and now sends me down the rabbit hole of "Is this guy going to try to get me fired now?" to boot. If someone is that mad at me, and they have my name and where to find me and that I can be easily targeted, it can happen again. This is why I live in fear of offending anyone. These days, anyone can get mad enough to go after you PERSONALLY. P.S. YouTube is laughing at me because it's showing me a video of "How not to take things personally.

Did I mention that BigBoss wants to remove the "no second copies" text off the website? THIS IS EXACTLY BLOODY WHY I WANTED THAT TEXT ON THE WEBSITE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY IT SHOULD NOT BE REMOVED. THIS THIS THIS.

Back to the YouTube, he says "It's not about me." I got that, but I don't want them to strike out at me because they're having a bad day either. Especially if they go to the point of "I want to GET HER." Or alternately, it's about your insecurity, i.e. "I'm afraid someone's going to try to get me fired again and have it work this time."

Tonight I watched TEDxMileHigh: Uncharted. Best parts: (a) the song by Lolita, even though I can't figure out what that rando guy in the back was doing other than randomly saying something quietly once in a while. Otherwise I think the song should be a hit. (b) the lady talking about wage theft, (c) the epidemiologist who caught Covid on an airplane and had a hideous time getting anyone to diagnose it or well, bloody well anything. Good lord.

Then I watched "Much Ado About Wil" online. A fair chunk of famous people "table reading" (i.e. Zoom boxing) over hand drawn old timey drawings. They slide the people in and out of frame.
Wil's new Romeo and Juliet ends along the lines of Bonnie and Clyde. His agent's reaction: "Wil, you got any problems at home you wanna talk about?"
Wil gets offered an artist-in-residence "job" in Denmark.
"Please. Nobody wants to see a play about a Jew." -Bernie Shylock, agent.
Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern are humans who have been turned into dogs....I think...not actual dogs, Hamlet's just that much of a dick. With punkass hair. "You're still alive, Father? Good for you."
"I find plots most tiresome." -Gertrude
"Now we sentence criminals to a play date with the prince." -King
"a chimp, a prostitute, and a sword swallower." Meet the Elsinore Players. Only the chimp can read.
"I've done it on stage many times." "Perhaps you'd like to gift us with an oral presentation?" The King is dead and Gertrude tells Wil he has to get Hamlet married off. "You mean to sacrifice the fair Ophelia to a life of eternal flatulence?"
Wil is also told to deliver the eulogy, which he borrows from Julius Caesar.
I like that Hamlet actually has a bee costume on at the masquerade party, nobody else is dressing up :P
"Silly Willy thinks he has to disguise himself to kiss the princess."
How does a ghost have to piss? "Please tell me that's rain!" "Sorry!"
HOLY SHIT HAMLET CAN SUDDENLY ACT INSTEAD OF BEING A WALKING PUKESTAIN. "It was all right." "I thought he was playing the tree stump." "Do you realize what this means?" "That you'll be casting around for a new tree stump?"
"I'm afraid serious threats must go through my agent first."
"But I must be king, Mummy said so."
"I still like the ending where they kill their parents." "I'd leave it alone, guv'nor."
"Polonius, for the first time in his life, must rustle up something nice to say." "Rah rah, my lord." "What we're looking for is a good commercial tragedy." "No one cares about writers."
You had a king come back from the dead to help with a casting decision? "I've always had a problem with that."
"Violence. Sex. Incest. This is exactly the kind of play the Queen wants to produce."

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