Chaos Attraction

Masks On, Full Hearts, Might Lose, Fight Anyway

2020-04-16, 9:00 p.m.

I am slightly less rage-y at work today because I at least finished one giant project and was only in work-Zoom meetings for two hours. I consider it bonus points that I did not yell at anybody, though I did want to lose it when at 8:30 a.m. Tigress was all "did you download this yet?" GOOD LORD NO, IT'S ONLY 8:30 WOMAN, I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH CHECKING ALL MY SHIT YET. Sigh. Apparently I should be up at 7:30 a.m. when it downloads to download it, and this led to some drama about how "you're STILL not being notified of this?" I told you this like, three times. Sigh.

Had staff meeting today. The social committee is doing the following:

(a) The Reiki coworker is offering to do Reiki sound baths at the end of the day. Sign me up. I guess she got permission to do it remotely even though she's not "passed" in that yet? (She once told me she couldn't do it remotely because she hadn't qualified yet.)

(b) Office Birthday Day is next Thursday, though I'm not sure what the hell we are gonna do.

(c) Sharing Day in which you share your family or projects (I appreciate they put in projects for me since I am the only one alone), but I won't be doing it because that's on my actual birthday and I am skipping work that day!

After that, we had another random speaker who said, "I put on my GOOD at-home shirt for y'all." Mostly this was a presentation on what her office does, completely with office floor plan and fliers for events they used to have. That shit just made me sad, even though some people were all "office field trip!" to that. I did appreciate that they are doing online events every day, though.

After work I did a makeup phone call with my shrink, which actually did happen, if a bit short. She said that odds are Scott's going through enough shit right now like the rest of us so leave it be. I did rage about work for a while and how I go back and forth between being fine and just wanting to scream and yes, I did go outdoors at one point. We also discussed whether or not it is worth it to try to throw an online birthday party this year if so far nobody ever responds when I try to contact them about doing anything.I figure I will just get mad if I get ignored about it, and given the odds, she thought I should just not bother doing anything, even though she hated to say it. We did discuss how Robert seems to have better ringleader-odds than I do so maybe I should discuss it with him, and I said yeah, I floated this idea over email a few days ago and got no response (yet)....? Sigh. I don't get how some people can get results when they are all "Hey kids, let's put on a show!" and some don't.

I admit I'd really like an excuse to get people together. But I know I'll be fucking mad if it's ignored. So..... ????

Heard from Mom saying that Alicia is having a drive-by for Aidan's birthday, and oh, what would I like for my birthday? Honestly, a laptop, but I don't think I can say that. Not sure what to say that can get mailed online in a week. Just pass her the Amazon list, I guess? In other news, I got my stimulus money, but for some crackassed reason the refund account is set up on my first joint bank account with my mom in my hometown, and there's no bank of that here for me to get to. She said she'd mail me a check and I was all, uh, I don't want to have to go to an ATM...fuck.

How did a moth get into my apartment when I don't leave my apartment much?
Should I give it a name?

Quote of the day from Captain Awkward: "Masks on, full hearts, might lose, fight anyway. " That may be a sampler slogan.

Another quote, from some random e-mail forward from a coworker:
"Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Dinner tonight: can of turkey meat + 2 different salad dressings + Rtiz crackers. This still tasted pretty boring, so I fund a bag of crispy onions that you're supposed to put on green bean casserole (yeah right, like I'd eat anything like that...except the onions, obviously) and sprinkled that in, and suddenly it tasted delightful!

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