Chaos Attraction

Home Alone Knitting A Cat

2020-05-29, 10:00 p.m.

I was listening to the “Start With This” podcast and they cited a quote from Dan Sheehan: “The quarantine state of mind is having 3 solid days where you feel pretty well adjusted, followed by a sudden, unexpected dip into what we call “the hell zone.” Think I've been there the last few days. Not sure what zone I'm in now.

Per Tigress being out on Fridays, I spent my day doing my actual job without being interrupted by other things. I spent the first few hours ordering More Important Documents and then had to spend the rest of the day proofreading names for a giant document that got dropped on me. Now, under normal circumstances this would be a thing that might take a few days (I do not know how I am going to find time to get it done next week at all until next Friday and the thing is due basically ASAP due to lateness on others' parts), BUT.... One of the problems of me having no more than 2 hours a day to do my job is that I have 200+ pages of names to proofread for Important Documents, and I have gotten through....25 of them. This is bad enough as is, but unfortunately as I was doing things like finding that someone had somehow managed to get into the Giant Document List that totally should not have and wondering 'Do Chinese people really use the suffix SR?" Because honestly, I don't think so and people will get mad if I leave this in even though they put it there," it occurred to me right before noon that a lot of the names on Giant Document are the same on the 200+ pages and I am going to be In Trouble if the names don't match. So when my boss asked how it was going, I told her, and she and Coworker Sarah alternated on proofreading pages 26-35 or so while I continued to work on Giant Document. So cheers to them for doing that. Though I had to say to Coworker Sarah afterwards that no, it probably won't be done on Monday...or until next Friday, anyway.

I do like finding ridiculous names, even if I can't possibly say them online because of Google. Let's just say I found a name straight out of Once Upon A Mattress, and one guy who claims his middle name is the name of a rapper.

I got the bright idea when I woke up that I was going to count how many times I saw you-know-who's first name, because it does seem to come up a lot. I don't know what I was thinking to do that on a day when it turned out I had to proofread ALL the names, but the total was sixteen of 'em. Jesus. I know it's a common first/middle/last, but dang.

I was emailing back and forth with the current Head of Giant Document Issues, who is retiring (lucky her), and it turned into a discussion of what to say when someone asks if you're fine, whether or not one has the brain space to create (I was listening to "Start With This" today), and idiots who won't wear masks. So that was something.

Time to try and relax and have fun on the weekend.

Tonight I am watching a show I've wanted to see in person but it never came here, and now it's online to rent for the weekend: Summer of 69 (no apostrophe): Nick Offerman & Megan Mullaly. They sing dirty songs, read aloud letters they supposedly wrote to each other from the back of a stolen Uber, a song about their wedding which turns into something about a cat lord and cat murder, they play some weird game with a random couple...

My favorite bit was Nick's "Queen of the Pixies' song about how they met, which is adorable, especially if you've read their book and know what he's referring to. Then Megan brings out their little white dog in top hat and tails looking adorable. The dog also does tricks. Megan's version of this is called "My Pop," sample lines, "My pop once got poison ivy on his peen" and "one little poodle makes him happy." They finished with a song mentioning random facts about themselves, getting more awkward when Megan mentions other dudes and already blabbed about his penis. "A Hungarian man tried to go down on me in Japan" is what Nick tries to be awkward for Megan. "My cousin tried to make me have sex with a heroin addict," is what she does next.... There is also some debate as to whether or not Nick is gay for loving Harry Potter and having blonde tips once. Then there's "I've never murdered anyone," followed by silence....

"I love the everloving crap out of this woman and she loves the crap out of me. The end." -Nick

Actually it's not, because there is a ... "dance number....?" I can't even describe what is going on with this, other than at some point I was all, "I bet they do a lift" and I was not disappointed.

Mom called in the middle of that. It was for about an hour, so she must have been really bored. She keeps asking if I"m losing weight and I said, how should I know, I don't have a scale and I may not be eating much (and what it is isn't great) but I'm not exactly exercising that much either so it's probably even. She mentioned having "the sniffles" but otherwise seems fine (could be allergy season and at least she doesn't get near anyone), so hell if I know. She said "Give me a hug" at the end and I as all, how? Hug yourself. I cried again. Honestly, her optimism is hard to take at times.

My upstairs neighbors are having a good time singing and yelling 'woo!" Sounds nice. ... then I thought, "god, I hope that's just them and they're not having people over." (I don't think so, it wasn't that raucous.)

Then since I was logged into Vimeo, and I own the movie "In Your Eyes" on there, I watched that again. I love this movie, but parts of it take place in a bar and that's when I thought, "It is Friday night and I am sitting home alone knitting a cat,* why am I not out at a bar?" followed by "There are no bars to hang out at ever again." Sometimes it's just fucking hard to watch the world we lost. (Guess what, crying again after I wrote that.) On the other hand, the scene where Becky is drunk and wandering around with no pants is very quarantine.

* Though Yemi does like that I am knitting an orange cat, like her cats. That's the idea.

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