For those wondering... yup, I'm rehired again! She hadn't called because she wasn't done yet with everyone else, but I can come in whenever. I said Monday (hell, week's almost over) so I can have two days of snuggletime. Whee! All is happy!

Anyway... I wasn't going to do one of these, but Tygerchild's entry inspired me. in honor of Dave's visit and my girly bits appointment today (heh), I bring you the Hot Pants Award.

I can't really write about The Act, to be honest. I mean, what the heck do you say to describe all that? Use a bunch of romance novel cliches about his tumescent magnificence penetrating your silken femininity? (BARF) I've tried to describe it more realistically, and then get hung up on it sounding funny. Heck, no wonder I was a confused child, reading these things and trying to figure out what an orgasm was supposed to feel like.

Interestingly enough, I was reading Crazy For You last night, and the first big sex scene in the book is about the most realistic in some ways that I've ever seen. The girl's having all kinds of weird random thoughts going through her head at various times, in between being very turned and doing what they're doing. She's kind of in shock that this is actually happening, should she be doing this, does she look all right- and in between she's being blown away.

That about sums it up for me, I guess. Occasional random thoughts go through my head, then eventually I'm not thinking at all, just holding on for dear life, and in complete shock that I could be feeling like this. "Say my name, bitch!" wouldn't work because I can't remember my own. Heck, I'm lucky if I remember to er, keep quiet about it.

It's the beginning and the end that I remember more, in some respects. When he arrives at my apartment and we have the first long hug, followed by some frantic door closing. The long kiss in the middle of the bedroom. The tantalizing little gropes during that. The breathlessness. One of these days I'll actually manage to do a strip tease for him, but usually after that I just start dropping my dress off as fast as possible. (And cursing myself and wondering why on earth I put on shoes with buckles.) I don't even notice when he's removing his, to be honest, I'm so frantic about it. Then I'm off to the bed...

(insert wild description of mind being blown here, which I'd write if I only had any bloody idea how to...)

Afterwards, we lie there plastered together and vibrating. He's essentially out of it for a few minutes, which I love and love watching. I always wonder what it feels like for a guy, and wish I could know. I usually feel like one of those heart monitors when they're going frantically up and down in short little waves, I have no idea what it's like to have one big body-slamming rush of it at once.

I love the afterglow.

I love the complete intimacy afterwards. That nobody but you two has been in on this particular thing, and it's bonded you closer together. How you don't want to separate from each other. How you'll either happily doze off there or wake up enough to have a conversation. Sometimes we have these loopy random ones where we'll be discussing, say, some of the odd physical characteristics of the people he went to school with, or the plot of a novel, or some other completely unrelated thing, and I'll find it very sexy and fun that we can do that. Other times he gets mushy and emotionally I just melt into a puddle. We hold each other tightly and feel grateful that we have each other. He says the most incredibly sweet things, to the point where I wish I had a tape recorder nearby so I'd have them immortalized. (Course, if he knew about the tape recorder he'd suddenly go blank, sigh.) Every time I am amazed that someone could actually feel like that about me, of all people who used to get dumped on. He says he feels the same way.

I don't like leaving a bed that has him in it. Period. Unless I have to go to the bathroom, I never want to get up. My goal is to keep him in there forever, in that state of intimacy that doesn't quite and can't really exist when you're wearing clothes and upright. It looks like I'm lazy, but really, I just want to stay in that mental and physical state for as long as possible. Maybe we'll get up to something again, maybe we won't, but either way, while we're still in bed there's potential.

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