What a fun day. Pardon the random assortedness and general inappropriate remarks in this entry. I'm kind of a wreck.

Dave's aunt committed suicide this morning. Since they'd all just talked to her last night after she had surgery, suffice it to say, it was a surprise.

While her son and grandson (the grandson has leukemia) were in the house, in the next room, she raided the gun cabinet. I cannot believe she did that with them in the next room, when a CHILD, one who's already having mortality issues, was highly likely to find her body.

When her other son heard the news, he ran away screaming, leaving the phone off the hook. They haven't found him yet. Lisa (the cousin I met a few months ago) has also disappeared upon hearing the news. Family trait, apparently. His grandparents seem to have gone catatonic. Grandpa hasn't spoken at all, and Grandma's in kind of a la-la land. His mom is stuck in the position of The One Who Must Hold It All Together And Can't Collapse. Last I heard, he didn't know if her husband had even heard about it yet. Dave found out while at work (when Hill, who has been there herself, found this out, she was completely horrified that he was told there) and was wandering around out of it.

They may be heading out of state to go there soon, or they may just go for the funeral next week. Dave's freaking because they're certainly not letting him off for a week from work and it doesn't seem that likely they'd let him off for two days.

He REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wants me to come up this weekend. But how on earth can I impose on them during a time like this, future in-law or not? I don't think it's right to force them to deal with me and company manners. I told Dave this and he got all upset and I told him to ask them in a few days if it was okay (not to mention see if they leave town this weekend so this wouldn't be an issue).

Mom and I were at it again tonight. We very nearly got to the point of cutoff. We may get there again soon. She keeps asking why I'm tense and asked if I was (a) pregnant, (b) drinking, (c) taking drugs, or (d) anywhere around the time where my period would have started if I were still having periods. I still didn't tell her why. I didn't realize I sounded THAT TENSE about it. I probably should have, but I still don't think it's the right time to tell. I do NOT want to tell her when we're like this, I just really, really don't. I want us to not be fighting when she finds out. That would ruin it.

It's all about how I don't WANT to call them just to say hi, how I sound miserable when I call, how I'm not supposed to assume we'll fight (yeah, right), how my trying to arrange visits doesn't count in the slightest and nothing counts until I've actually spent a weekend there, and all her coworkers' kids come visit their parents all the time and why don't I, Dave's more important to me than they are... the usual.

For some insane reason, my aunt insisted that my cousin Alicia get a 3-person (TINY) dorm room. Like she can't afford anything else, come ON. I've seen their house, they go to Europe like every other year. She's not going to be able to sleep or do well in a place that crowded, and she won't even have a living room to crash in. And she drew the small room in the smelliest, rat-infested area of the dorms to boot. Poor girl. I told Mom I'd have to tell her to come over to my place to crash when she needed to, and she said I'd better not have Dave over then or she'd be traumatized because she is so pure.

Huh? I doubt Alicia's done much in that area, but she's got friends.

Oh yeah, and according to Aunt Susie Alicia is as pure as the driven snow, will spend all her time in the library, and will never, ever drink. I think within two months Alicia will have lost her drinkginity. Hell, it only took me that long, and I was even purer than she is.

I said "This is NOT the time to ask me that now!"

She made a comment about telling Dave she was "pulling rank."

I about gagged. I can't fucking believe she's doing that. If she knew for sure I wasn't going there (I'd told her I wasn't sure) to help him deal with grief issues, of all things, I'd probably say yes and not mind a bit. But that is just fucking rude of her to do.

To quote chicagowench in chat just now, "This has reached heights of acid reflux agida for you." Lord, ain't that the truth.

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