Chaos Attraction

This Year's Recap

2021-12-01, 6:30 a.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Hello, Holidailies. A recap of the year so far:

Agoraphobia: I pretty much got over last year's agoraphobia after being fully vaccinated...then you know how the rest of the year went. At this point I have given up on trying to be safe and am now running around wild doing highly dangerous things with KN95 masks on whenever I leave the house. Is this a good idea? No. But I literally am not permitted to be agoraphobic any more (see below), so there you go. I'm boostered again as of October, let's hope that works to keep me safe.

Work: was permitted to work at home until September, now we are on hybrid scheduling and I have to go into the office twice a week (mostly Fridays). I personally feel like I only *need* to be there once a week to do the mail, but what can you do. This month will feature mandatory in-person work parties with indoor food, which I was fine with since GiantOrg requires vaccination and we have a high rate of it, until I found out that my grandboss got a religious exemption and is not vaccinated and while she travels around constantly, will absolutely be there in person to eat! And there isn't anything I can do about that one and would probably get in trouble if I tried, and I assume I'd also get in trouble if I say I'm keeping my mask on and not eating in public, especially since work knows about my highly dangerous activities (see below). I topped out on vacation this year and thus now need to burn roughly 1-3 days per every 2 week period, so I have a few stray days off here and there and then will be out the last two weeks of the month. Huzzah.

Family: Mom is doing fine (forcibly retired due to pandemic but still has her side job and volunteer jobs), as is Roger and his son, I've seen them occasionally and stayed with Mom (still hoarding, sigh) over Thanksgiving break, like usual. Haven't really heard from or seen a whole lot of relatives otherwise. Suddenly the relatives want to get together on a weekend, but I may not be able to do that due to theater, so....?

Online theater: I did a few more online shows this year, notably Shrek: The Musical online, which was quite tricksy to do, but opened some other doors for me (see below). Online acting has pretty much dried up now, but my online friend group put on our own ten-minute play festival a few months back and we're doing another one again this month, theme is "Paranormal Holiday."

In-person theater: DMTC (the theater that does musicals in town) asked me to join the cast of Camelot, which was cut off during pandemic and brought back in August. I agreed to join that cast in July, which uh...well, you know how delta variant went. Everyone got vaccinated/wore masks onstage and anyone who refused vaccination was out. We did have someone come down with covid after the first weekend, but ONLY her and the rest of us were fine, as it turned out. Someone in the orchestra pit came down with it the next weekend, but as far as I heard, only her. Both are back at the theater. As far as I know there haven't been any other scares since. Hopefully. I probably wouldn't have been in the loop if any happened during their current show, since I wasn't involved with that one.

After that, I did the light board for Mary Poppins there and recently got into The Producers, so you'll be hearing about that show a lot this month.

The theater that I did shows at in 2019 appears to be "on hiatus" indefinitely and I don't really know what's going on there. They were going to bring back the show that got cut off for pandemic, but a friend of mine in it said it was postponed again for "covid reasons." They haven't even announced that on their webpage yet and it's past when they said they were going to do it :P We don't know if they're ever coming back, and I have heard that the rent was raised by a lot on their location, so heck if I know. Obviously I have moved on to DMTC and being ensemble in musicals instead.

Social life/karaoke: I've seen a few theater friends here and there, but not that much. I thought we'd all reunite once karaoke came back in May, but not so much, sigh. I don't think we'll have a regular gang there again or elsewhere. I do hang out with Dawn and Loretta and some other people off and on IRL. I went to the nearest Renaissance Faire, I'm going to indoor plays in addition to being in them, I'm probably the riskiest person you know.

Karaoke came back in May (outdoors until the weather got too cold), and I have been hanging out with Jim (karaoke DJ) and his daughter Ashley quite a lot. I have been introduced to other karaoke bars through them, including UOB (in town, Saturdays) and met Jim's bestie DJ Rance there, and there's also Miss Darla's, the dive bar that has karaoke every night and a varying quality of DJ's. Sometimes I go to the other places. UOB is half indoors and half out and keep their doors open, Miss Darla's...well, can't claim they are safe other than leaving a door open there. A fun issue these days is that the neighboring county (i.e. the one with the most karaoke bars, including my regular bar and Miss Darla's) does NOT have a mask mandate, because their public health officer is all "Everyone's just going to get it at parties anyway," so I go masked and nobody else does. I also made friends with one of Ashley's posse, Rae, and hang out with her pretty frequently.

Hallmark reviews: well, we'll always have Hallmark reviews. Mom got me a subscription to Frndly TV, so I'm trying to get through as many of the new ones this year as I can swing, given my current lack of free time and the fact that they put things up for only 3 days.

Crush: Well, this went to complete fucking hell. The recap of the year goes like this: didn't talk to him most of this year, thought he stopped liking me, in October I end up seeing him again IRL and it turns out he didn't stop and was happy to see me again and said so. In November I tried asking him out, then had to clarify I meant romantic relationship, to which he said no. I have thought this was a mutual crush for YEARS what with all of the ah, physical affection that would go on between us in person, but apparently NOT for him, not at all. I'm absolutely horrified about that last part, feel like the entire basis of our relationship (such as it was) was wrong, I told him I was "dialing back" our relationship after that, which so far isn't going like you'd expect.

Even worse, after not seeing him for most of the year, I heavily talked him into auditioning for The Producers, and he got in, so now I get to see him a LOT after two years of not seeing him much at all. After that fun experience I would absolutely have disappeared from his life by now and he probably wouldn't have noticed, if not for at least needing to be in public good terms with him until the end of January. I don't know if I still want to be actual friends (or more like token "friends" you see once in a great while in person and that's it) or what any more, but I do know I don't want to care more about him that he does for me, and that I need to get over it once and for all. And that I feel like a complete ass for thinking we both had feelings for each other and that I acted accordingly with that.

Which is to say, I was trying to avoid him at rehearsals. Meanwhile, he's like, completely fine and wants to go back to sitting next to me and hugging again as of yesterday, so. I really don't know what to make of it all. And my therapist is moving this month, so I gotta hash this shit out alone.

And that's where I am circa December 2021.

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