Chaos Attraction

Movies I Saw Today

2012-12-26, 10:34 p.m.

I went back to Mom's house rather than my own last night (given the distance/weather). She had to go back to work today, and I arranged with L to get a ride back home with her tomorrow. But in the meantime, I have had to amuse myself here with no Internet access whatsoever, not even on my phone because Mom lives so far out that my provider's towers don't even work there. One computer stopped allowing you to get online, for no good reason, and the other computer is so old that NO browser will load a page any more. I think this is pretty ridiculous, but she won't spring a few hundred for a new desktop that she won't know how to set up anyway, so....yeah. I had nothing else to do besides finish my new rainbow jacket and read "Cold Days." And watch whatever random movies I dug up around the house. Reviews to follow!

1. Definitely, Maybe: This is a very odd movie in which a divorcing dad has to deal with his daughter on the day she had sex ed class. This somehow leads to (while trying to explain why divorce happens), him telling the story of How I Dated Three Women, One Of Whom Was Your Mom, But I'll Make You Guess Who Mom Is Because I Changed The Names.

This....makes no sense as something a human would do or that a kid would go along with. I gather the writer of the movie wanted to make a less predictable romantic comedy, and well, points for trying, but:
(a) There are good reasons to not root for all three contenders, so caring "who won" didn't work for me.
(b) Caring who the mother is (TM Ted Mosby, also having a similar problem) is difficult because we know the marriage ended and we never find out why, either. (Hint: which one of the suspects resembles the kid?)
(c) The....eventual winning candidate by the end was the most obnoxious of the three and while sure, she was cute, I wanted her to win the least. Too bad for me.
So for me, it didn't really work, even though I like the actors playing the dad and the kid. Oh well.

2. Did You Hear About The Morgans? I didn't see this when it came out because it had shitty reviews for whatever reason. But it was done by the same guy who did Two Weeks Notice, which I like and think did well by Hugh Grant. I felt pretty similarly with this one-- really, it wasn't bad. The premise is that the Morgans (NYC folk) have been separated for 3 months--fertility issues were eroding the marriage, Paul had a one night stand--and then they witness a murder. While the cops try to find the killer, they're put together in a temporary WITSEC location--Ray, Wyoming, i.e. nowhere. They live with the local marshal and his wife.

But here's the thing: the "fish out of water" schtick and the fighting couple stuff could have crapped up the movie if not done well. A lot of films overdo that stuff. But it wasn't in this one. The Morgans aren't the Bickersons. They quietly discuss stuff in a reasonable manner. And the city slicker shenanigans are only done for so long before the Morgans mellow out and learn to enjoy the town, jogging in clean air, cheap shopping, etc. They're nice people. Okay, so Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant don't have whopping sexual chemistry together, but they're sweet and overall I liked it even without that.If anything, I wasn't too hot on their assistants (the female one...kinda annoying and weird and bossy), but otherwise, it was good for what you get.

3. After Mom got off work, we went to the actual movie theater and watched Cirque de Soleil: Worlds Apart. Apparently this is a 3-D sampler platter of 7 different shows, which I did not really figure out at the time. But I did kind of wonder why there was so much Beatles stuff at the end. There's a vague semblance of a plot in the land of nonsense: a girl (the credits call her Mia) goes to the Circus Magnificent (or some name like that), which isn't that impressive, but she falls in love at first sight with "The Aerialist." Who upon seeing her in the audience, misses catching the bar and somehow suddenly falls into a sarlacc pit. The girl does too, and they end up in some misty area with circus tents. She wanders around with a flyer pic of The Aerialist, showing it to every random circus person she comes across. They usually look blankly at her. Girl don't get much to do for an hour, basically.

Meanwhile, The Aerialist, presumably being punished for fucking up a show, is captured and put in chains for about a third of the movie until set free, then he wanders about until they somehow meet again for a very lovely sky ballet duet. In between their stuff, random weird theater acts ensue. It's Cirque de Soleil, so it's weird and nonsensical and impossible and amazing. And in 3-D closeup, for cheaper than a regular show, so go see it.

After that, we went home and started watching (but did not finish) Brave again. I think I reviewed it here already, but now I can't find where that was, so....whatever.

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