Chaos Attraction

Fried Brains, Anyone?

2004-12-28, 10:20 p.m.

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It's 11:05 a.m. Am I at the gym? Well, I'm writing this, aren't I?

Mom made a big stink last night about if we went to the gym, we simply HAD HAD HAD TO GO in the early morning, or else it was useless. "We have to go before your father gets up." Considering he seems to get up at noon usually I don't know what the hell she was talking about. She wanted to get up and go by nine. I was all, "Mom, you are going to be way too tired to get up by nine. I know this, you know this. How about eleven?"
Goddammit, when she gets like this it's like dealing with a six-year-old, except the six-year-old and seven-year-olds I know are much more reasonable.
We negotiated it down to: we'll leave by 10.
I woke up at 10, figuring she would have woken me up if she wasn't too tired (she comes in to wake me up whenever she's decided I've slept enough- which is just lovely when I've had a night where I was up coughing till 1 a.m.) , so evidently we weren't going. I looked in her room- it was dark. Okay, fine, whatever.
At eleven she comes out and says, "Well, I was up and ready by 9:15, but I looked in and you were still sleeping, so I figured you were too tired to go." Oh Jesus, the ONE DAY SHE HASN'T COME IN TO WAKE ME UP and suddenly I was supposed to have naturally been awake by 9 a.m. or set an alarm during vacation? I told her not to blame it on me, since God knows she isn't shy about waking me up every other day of my life EXCEPT TODAY. Call it a hunch that someone just doesn't want to go to the gym and is blaming it all on ME. Thanks.

Today shall be stressful. As previously mentioned, I've learned my lesson on asking the parents to go to a movie. Well, guess what, Dad wants to go to the movies today! Ocean's Twelve, which will probably be nice and packed to the gills! And cause lots of fucking stress! Yay!!
Did I mention she thinks we'll make the 2:10 show? Oh, please, Dad isn't even out of bed yet. We'd be lucky to make a 5 p.m. show. Why am I the only one around here with any sense of how time works?

9:13 p.m.: Well, the good news is (a) we made it to the movie on time, and (b) it was almost entirely dead because it was playing at Ye Olde Crappy 2-Film House locally. The bad news was that Mom saw some other family with someone in a wheelchair in the theater and was all, "Crap! If they're in first, then we won't be able to sit!" Gah. Rather pathetic to think that if someone else in a wheelchair shows up, we still can't sit there. At first I was all, "Oh, please, they should have more than one space for the handicapped," but then I remembered this was the crappy theater, and who knows? I went into the theater (thank gawd other handicapped family decided to hit the snack bar first) and at first panicked because I only saw one handicapped spot at the back. But scanning along, I found two more positioned higher up in the theater. For once Mom and Dad made it in somewhere fast and managed to snag the back spot, right before the other handicapped family came in and panicked. I told them to sit up front. Then I felt less guilty.

As for Ocean's Twelve, well... I was not that impressed. It was The Thomas Crown Affair meets The Italian Job, but with more people. In a way, the plot twist (i.e. why we're having a sequel) wasn't that bad of an idea, but the end bit just made me freaking lost. Like, what the hell, and HOW did this come about again, and how do these guys know that person, and WHAT?
Best moment of the movie (shut up, it's in the first 5-10 minutes, this is not a spoiler): Topher trashes his hotel room. I was the only one in the place laughing, and I don't know why (presumably they are all too old to know who he is).
Most "Um, I know the critics thought this was funny, but I didn't think it came off" moment: the Julia Roberts moment. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. If you haven't, you can figure it out when you're watching it. Let's just say cryptically that um... yeah, it's a stupid gag, I don't think it works, it's not that funny, and whoever thought this was a good idea was on something. I can see under certain chemical circumstances that someone thought it would be funny, but... yeah, I can't say more without anyone screaming at me.

After the movie got out, we went on a frantic search for Excedrin Quick Tabs (i.e. dissolvable medication), since god knows I get a headache a few times a week and can't find any in Davis. This, unfortunately, meant that for awhile I was stuck in Longs waiting for Mom to stop looking at crap, while some stupid little girl who thought she was too precious for words kept laughing hysterically at me for some reason. I wanted to go up to her and say, "In ten years you're not going to be so cute and you're not going to be able to get away with this shit," except her mother was there and we all know how that goes.

Dad has not been fun to deal with today. As I type right now he's sobbing his head off for God only knows what reason. He was making really scary choking/sobbing noises for awhile after we got out of the movie.

Mainly, I have been in a "Can y'all please leave me alone for two hours? Just two hours. Just leave me alone and don't ask me for anything and don't need me for anything and DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I CALM DOWN" mood. As usual when I am in this kind of mood and at the parents' house, I don't get my wish At All. Mom kept pestering me throughout dinner to make conversation with her so she wouldn't be so bored again. So finally I started going on about how she drives off the people I date. Naturally, she just didn't get what I was talking about. Ahem. Whatever.

And now it's 10ish, and I managed to rip part of my new trench coat (sigh), and I should go try to figure out how the hell to fix the thing. Dammit.

And it's only Tuesday. I haven't even been here a full week yet.

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