Chaos Attraction

Prairie Oysters

2022-12-31, 5:51 p.m.

Friday night rehearsal: went VERY well. I am still stumped if Steve had a miraculous "got over it" testing experience (he said "mine turned bright purple like Kimmie's" false negative one, and that's all I got about it, whatever "bright purple" is, I dunno, Google failed), Jan said something about him taking miracle medicine (nobody spelled out if this was more Paxlovid), Steve himself said his symptoms changed and he felt better, or at least better enough to set up stuff before the show before going home again. He had a mask on.

The emcee (Kelvin) was also back tonight and GOOD GOD IT HELPED TO ACTUALLY SEE THE GUY TO DO THE CUES. I even made it through the 20 cues in 3 pages thing tonight well, Jan said I was doing a great job. HUZZAH. I'm not sure if these cues are easier (okay, except for the last few pages they are) or that I just know what I'm doing, but YAY this is not an excruciating experience!

I never did find out what happened with Mystery Burning last night--"it stopped, we forgot about it" is all I got there. Rehearsal went till 11, but that's per usual. There was a stoppage in the middle because of sound issues (Montana played "If I Only Had A Brain" while testing, Chris and Lenore danced to it), but that was about it for super crazy-ness. Okay, fine, there was a little craziness.

Steve later said he'd play drums on NYE--apparently the usual drummer got covid and pneumonia AT ONCE. Oh, FFS.

Tonight we finally saw Morgan do the "prairie oyster" scene with actually pulling out two eggs (wrapped in napkins, I guess she swipes them from the club?) and Worcestershire sauce and cracking the eggs onstage and drinking the um, contents.

Kimmie: "Why does she have that in her pocket?!"
Me, yelling down to the stage: "THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING!!"
Steve: "Because she's a fucking alcoholic!"
Anyway, they both drank up eggs...we laughed. Morgan said, "That didn't work as well as I thought it would," and Chris said, "It didn't taste bad..." Morgan: "I'm a mess." Jan: "We'll practice it." Morgan: "We only have a day!"

Notes on the show with Kelvin in it:
(a) I am pleased to see that he does a good job and in no way reminds me of Pee-Wee Herman like the one time I saw Cabaret before.
(b) Hoo boy, is he dirty, literally groping girls on stage and pulling money out of their tits. It looks like one girl is jerking him off at one point. During "Two Ladies," they basically come up from under the blanket looking like they got laid. They are still talking about getting a bigger blanket.
(c) Rachele is now playing the gorilla, who has on a lovely tutu. At one point she picked a nit out of his hair, which was hilarious.

We did have One Incident in which a boob fell out during a number and Omar yelled "HOLD!!!!" VERY loudly so that didn't go any further. "We just had a very bad costume malfunction." Me: "Better now than later, I guess." The girl's response was "I had a bit too much fun." I note that there was a near nip-slip the other night (same girl) and Kimmie said she'd get tape. I guess it fell out when they were chasing each other around (I didn't catch it), not when they are rolling on the floor, which I guess I would have expected a nip slip to happen on. Me: "This place is not usually so dirty."

I have been wondering how the whole catered dinner thing is going to go--they get trays and get to eat in their seats “this one time.” Interesting. Since that means I can presumably eat in the back alone, I can smuggle in Tupperware if I don’t feel comfortable eating in there, I think.


James, on Steve being back: "It's almost like you haven't been here all week and we've been trying to figure things out ourselves!"

Montana to Steve: "Welcome back, for now." Steve was all, that's probably accurate (since he went home early).

Omar on covid: "I'm immune now."

Steve on his name:
"I would have been Amy Beth if I was a girl, except I came out with a schmeckel." Coincidentally, a cymbal went off down below after that line.
"My middle name, I don't use it. It begins with a B." Me, having heard it before: "Bruce." Steve: "Fuck you." Me: *laughs* I have a relative with that name."

Steve and Kimmie on the Kit Kat set:
Steve: "It's supposed to look like a crappy nightclub!"
Kimmie: "But last time it didn't LOOK like a crappy nightclub!"

Apparently someone just figured out the "K K K" in Kit Kat Klub.

Steve on some tech item: "It cost $6. Of coursed I didn't buy that because I'm Jewish."

It was announced that Kelvin was back, and people yelled Yaaaaay!" Steve: "Steve's back, who cares?" There were some weak yays.

Kimmie wants the brick noise turned a bit down because "it's too startling to the audience." James: "Isn't it SUPPOSED to be startling to the audience?!"
Kimmie: "Remember how in Titanic someone asked for the best seats?" (I can only presume this was because of the BUILDING SHAKING during that show.)

Steve: "I will usually chew on the stage at night."
Kimmie: "We need to get you a better source of fiber."
James suggested the animal horns he gets for the dogs at Walmart.

Lenore, slightly adding something to her line: "I am in hot bed with a hot water bottle!"

The phone noise was going off randomly during a non-phone scene. Omar: "Someone answer that phone."

James on the line "Would you like a slice?" (of fruit): "That's the best line in the show."

During intermission, Kimmie was saying that she doesn't like it if a show is slow because she gets bored. She didn't have too much to do in "Man of La Mancha" (except fill in when a guy got appendicitis, "I guess he didn't want to be in the show") so she was telling the story about how she got bored and tried to make Brian break character by saying, "You're so sexy." A teenager was on the light board for the show and heard this. "Who were you saying that to?" Kimmie: "Dannette." She also reported that said teenager was constantly drinking multiple Big Gulps a day and constantly running to the bathroom.

Kimmie to Sarah on Zoom at the end: "Sarah, can you get your mic off? I've been waiting for a half hour."

James on the bows: "We don't care about the tech people."

(I count 79 going to the gala.)

Today's covid news: still testing negative, but I opened a new box of five and it turns out that box is defective--came out faint line the first time, second test came out with almost no line. That's irritating. Switched to a new box with a slightly later expiration date (I note I have my box of tests organized by expiration date, but since they all got extended and nobody seems to really know how covid expiration dates work, I don't super pay attention to the dates any more after I've put them in order), and the test came out negative and normal. So, fine.

I also got my new lunchbox-sized HEPA filter in the mail, days early! I'm really excited and glad it came tonight since I was concerned about things. I'm charging it now. It's super cute. I probably need to give it a cute name or something.

I went to get my hair done for all the parties today. I went to my usual salon (a Spanish-language one, I should probably note, most people are bilingual), but since my original hairdresser has apparently left, I just took the closest appointment and hoped for the best. I got a new girl who spoke very little English, but we managed to communicate well enough and my hair looks as lovely as ever, thank you. (I'm glad the previous one wrote down what my hair dye was, and that there was a guy hairdresser in there that spoke English to help with the computer.)

Then I went home to get dressed for the gala. I have this really gorgeous long (too long) strapless dress that I probably should not be wearing as a strapless--I note it's a thrift store special-- but I made some adjustments to the whole thing:
(a) I have a long velvet top with a tail that I put over the top of it. The top also hides my usual pocket pouch for phone-holding, which I attached in there under that.
(b) I ended up pinning the back of the dress back so I don't trip on it so hard. Can't see that under the top.
(c) I'm wearing my Victorian boots because even pinned back, this outfit needs heels.
I feel spectacular, thankyouverymuch. Very pretty. It's a shame I have no guy in my life to ever appreciate this look, but...c'est ma vie.

Anyway, I’ve got to get out the door, so before I leave, here’s the usual NYE meme thing. Last year’s here.

1. What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

Performed with a mic on/had a part with a name in a musical is all that comes to mind.
Oh yeah, and did that murder mystery show.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

From last year: ."don't get covid" seems like a no longer reasonable goal, we all know I'll never find love or get another job, I hope to shoot to get into more plays if/where I can, but we'll see how this year goes. I think my one goal, which is a sad one, is to give up on the whole Scott thing. After January 30, dial it back, try not to contact him or maintain the relationship, let it go and be what it's going to amount to, i.e. not much. If group hangouts ever happen again, perhaps, or if he contacts me, but I need to not care about the guy more than he cares about me, period."

Well, I still didn’t get covid! That’s a miracle right there, especially now. I did get into more plays. As for the last one...yeah, that’s going to be my same goal, again, but with much more force and verve. As Dua Lipa would say, new rules. Don’t invite him to anything, don’t ask if he’s going to anything, don’t contact him if he doesn’t contact me first, no more stupid presents, be polite in public and that’s IT for the amount of energy I put into this relationship. Quiet quit it, as it were.

(Of course, I say this, possibly intending on going to his damn house tomorrow, because I am an idiot. Why do I want to do that? Because I can’t resist him initiating something, and I want to see what they did on the new house..)

This year, I am going to try to audition at a few other theaters just for the heck of it. That’s about my other goal. I can’t think of anything else I care about that’s attainable. Keep putting off getting covid for as long as possible, as well. And give up on the idea oaf ever having love in my life, because no matter what, that ain’t happening.

I need to get back to doing murder mysteries again too, there’s also that. If I’m going to be show-free for a few months, I should go do that. I intended to in January, but now I’m busy :P

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No.
5. What countries did you visit? None, as usual.
6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

Last year I said, ” Not constantly living in fear of getting the virus. I had that for a few weeks and then...well, you know.
I’d like to have romantic love in my life. Hahahahah..”

Uh.... same as ever there. What a fucking joke.

7. What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 24-end of May for Evita being a cursed show. Mid-August for the date that went to hell. The first weekend of December for also going cursed/a certain relationship going to hell.

Kinda wish there were some more positive examples in that one right now, but um, nope.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I did eight shows!
I started singing and tap dancing lessons!
I did briefly leave home for a few days, which is a lot for me in the 2020’s.
I did attempt to ask Scott out some more, even if that went to hell.
I made 20 years at work, which is also probably a miracle since I have been circling the drain of firing/having people to threaten to fire me for literally the last ten.
I got one job interview.
I’m not sure if being in a newspaper article that got popular and made a big stink counts...
I’m really proud of making the Mirabel Encanto costume and winning the best costume award for it.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Everything regarding Scott. I thought things were improving on his end. Then hoo boy, no.

My job in general, I’m a fucking failure every day.

I quit the Craft Center officially, which makes me sad, but I can’t really do that and theater at once, unfortunately, and I had years to think of a way to do that and I just can’t.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Singing and tap dancing lessons, I think. The singing is a vast improvement.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Same answer as last year: Directors, for letting me be in shows. My new online friends. My new coworkers.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Same answer as last year: A lot of people in politics. Every motherfucking goddamned idiot that refuses to wear a mask or take precautions, goes out partying or seeing relatives, comes down with it, and then is all “How did I do do that?”

And Scott. Definitely Scott, sigh.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Buying things IRL more often, especially at certain craft fairs. Got some lessons. Bought way too many damn shoes for theater.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

DMTC theater and Winters coming back this year. Going to Santa Cruz again.

16. What song will always remind you of 2022?

Feh, nothing comes to mind and I’m tired of trying to think of a song every year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder, obviously.
b) thinner or fatter? Probably fatter because I am too cold to want to move much these days, but I don’t care.
c) richer or poorer? I spent somewhat more money than last year, but did get more money from work, thanks to the union. So...

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Would have been nice if I worked out more, but I actually gave up my gym membership because I want to do theater more.

I do kinda wish I read more books than I do now. I read off the Internet constantly, but I don’t sit around with actual book or e-book in hand that much and that’s sad.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being interested in someone who was not interested back.

Also, I wish I hadn’t sucked so hard at work yet again.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Hung out with Mom and Roger and Evan.

21. Did you fall in love in 2022?

This was even worse than usual. I am hopeless and nobody I could ever want will ever want me.

22. How many one-night stands? Yeah, RIGHT. Also, who actually answers this question?

23: What was your favorite TV program?

Ted Lasso. I note that every other show I listed last year is now canceled.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Kinda yeah. Guess who and why.

25. What was the best book you read?

5 star reviews: Aurora’s End, Almost Romance, and I STILL haven’t written up the review of this book, but Be The Serpent, DAAAAAAAAAAMN.

4.5 star reviews: The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy, The Personal Librarian, Sense and Second-Degree Murder, Tear Down The Throne, Paladin’s Grace, Before We Disappear, One Last Stop, Spelunking Through Hell, The Love Curse of Melody McIntyre

New authors discovered this year that stood out: T. Kingfisher

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

That I can actually sing some songs better after musical training. I’ve even done some fairly difficult/operatic-y ones.

27. What did you want and get? The books I picked out.

28. What did you want and not get? Other books. A boyfriend. People to mask up for safety. People to be reasonable.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? I hardly saw aniy movies this year, so I guess we’d say The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent and Glass Onion....because that’s all I saw this year (oh wait, I think I watched the Thor

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I had the first night of tech week for Evita, turned 44.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? NOT HAVING A PANDEMIC.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022:

Still almost entirely wearing sweatpants/baggy pants/comfy pants this year for the most part. I have brought back some of my fancier outfits when I go out, at least.

33. What kept you sane? Yarn and theater.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nobody comes to mind that’s new and Jen Paski quit her job, darn it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Coronavirus, duh.

36. Who did you miss? My friends from Winters theater, albeit I saw some of them a bit more this year than compared to last.
37. Who was the best new person you met? I’ve really liked my new castmates this year. You meet lots of awesome people in shows.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022:

Last year’s list:
Don’t “shoot your shot.”
Nobody loves you.
KN95’s forever.
The pandemic is never going to end.

So.... same, nothing changed there. Other than “seriously, I just need to stop caring about Scott, seriously, you dumb bitch, stop it.”

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

The song “Fifty Percent” that I did in lessons (“I’d rather have fifty percent of him...or any percent of him...”) was definitely a thing for most of it. In general I’m relating to the lyrics in “Lost In The Brass” about being a nobody and wanting to shine.

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