The title of this entry doesn't make a whole lotta sense, but the way this weekend has ended has put the "You take the good, you take the bad" bit of that song into my head.

We'll start out happy, with the good!

Note to self: Whenever D&S claim they're going to arrive, always expect them to show up earlier. MUCH earlier. 'Cause on Friday, I took the bus home and found they had already arrived, leading to um, one of those dramatic clinches in the street for me and the boy.

(I can't recall who else on line uses "the boy", but I seem to have picked it up too. I found myself using the term with my coworker Friday morning and she thought it was cute. So anyway, you'll know who I'm referring to if I say that.)

The four of us went off for pizza, and I found out that they'd wanted to go surprise me on campus but didn't know where my building was. Then D&S took off for the weekend and left us alone.

(Wow, I am BLUSHING like nobody's business as I type right now. I've been getting way too much embarrassing innuendo today.)

I spent the weekend rediscovering my inner cuddle slut, it seems. We were pretty much all over each other most of the time, except for a few hours when we were working on typing stuff. No, not tacky in public crap, but cuddly and affectionate. Damn, I enjoy a boy who's interested in doing that. Never met one before as into that as he was, and I like it. Even if after awhile he insisted on dragging me out of bed in the morning. On weekends I prefer to stay in bed until noon, he insists on getting out by around 10. Okay, so this amounted to moving to the living room and listening to music and lounging around for a few more hours... He serenades me all the time, which just makes me so mushy and blushy again. (Cheeks are still burning.)

It was pretty amusing just how many times one of us would be all "Yeah, I should go get that object... but then I'd have to get up, and I don't wanna."

As he put it, "I can't believe I've known you a week, it feels like we've known each other forever." Honestly, being with him is like breathing, it's so natural. It's not a big old shock like previous exes were, it's just ... right.

I had felt so frozen emotionally and physically lately, and apparently he'd been having the same problem himself. Apparently it's easy to relearn, huh?

I took him around on a tour of the town and campus on Saturday. I'd mentioned the famous egghead sculptures, and he wanted to see them. So I strolled him around, took him by them all and showed him where I work, took him through the art and design buildings and generally wandered the campus for stuff to look at. (Today he said that last weekend he and D&S had been going through art galleries downtown, and he'd gotten a feeling then that we'd get along. Hmmmm.) It was fun. We then went home and lounged around some more and discussed ye olde vampire game once again and even made up some character sheets for it. I will be going along next time, and he's already got a character made up for me to play in the meantime. He promises I won't be standing around bored again. (Incidentally, while I was going through my closet, I showed him the Renaiassance blouse I wore to the last gathering, and he recognized it. Apparently he was at that game after all, but I have no recollection of him, and he figures he was doing something else at the time.)

I did have a freakout moment when he wanted to go look something up on the group's webpage and didn't have the URL and I almost said we should do a search on it, but he found the link on his own from a friend's page.

Today we ended up in yet another bookstore for hours- now I know what the hell to get him for the infamous V-Day. And he talked me into seeing Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I somehow knew somebody would make me see this before it went out of the theaters, whether I've read the book or not. And I haven't. So much for my geek street cred, right? Anyway, it was a well-made flick as far as I can tell, though man, it does go on and on and on and on and on. I don't mean just that it's long, but the characters were in constant, constant dread mortal peril from things too horrible, and this does get wearying. Fortunately, the two of us being smartasses kept on making entertaining comments (and well, pissing off the guy in front of us. This apparently only tempted David even more into making comments :P). I'm sorry, but these thoughs just keep coming into my head, and THEY MUST GET OUT! (Now you know why I don't go to the movies all that much.) I was amazed that on a Sunday morning in this town, when things are usually pretty dead, when the movie is about to go out of theaters, the theater was about 3/4 filled. Damn.

Remember at the start about what I said about D&S? They were *supposed* to arrive around 5 p.m., when the movie got out. Surprise, they arrived in town around 4:30, and David got a really disgusting (IMO) message from Scott on his phone afterward. I won't repeat that, I will just say that according to Scott, we'd better have a damn good reason for the phone being off. Presumably bad reception didn't count :P

He kept up making those kinds of remarks all the way back to my place, including one really disgusting one involving a comparison to their mice that I'm REALLY not repeating. Just... UGH! UGH! Do not even go there! I was so tempted to give him a kick.

Anyway, I shall be going to his place next weekend to meet his family and friends, who are apparently chomping at the bit to meet me and all. Demma was once again feeling extremely tired, cranky and grumpy about driving again today, so I don't think I'll be hitting them up for a ride home. Which means... the train. Let's hope I don't screw up the transfers like I've been known to do in the past and come off like an idiot. Though I already had plenty of those moments this weekend and he was not at all fazed or dissuaded (phew), so maybe this isn't a worry?

I had to do my obligatory phone call to Mom tonight, and she alternately bored or depressed the hell out of me several times during the course of the conversation. She got all snippy that I hadn't gone to go see her in a month (hey, I've gone longer before) and that her having to see me on Monday didn't count or something, plus well, other stuff moms who have a child who's dating would squick about. Her 1950's morality just wears me the hell out sometimes. I really don't want to discuss these things with her, she already knows that we don't agree on some of them, and getting a weepy guilt trip still isn't going to get me to conform, even if it does make me feel like shit.

So while we're having this awful conversation, I check my e-mail for the first time this weekend and find out that my friend Christine has cancer and apparently didn't bother to tell anyone about it for awhile (at least, she sure didn't mention it to me in January when I last talked to her), long enough to have had one surgery for it and is about to have another. I guess she decided to forward the news around on Friday.

I just didn't know what to say. Blew my mind. I'd been thinking of e-mailing her soon to fill her in on the job and boyfriend because I knew she'd be thrilled, but I sure as hell didn't want to go on about that now.

She wrote it pretty perkily, about how she had friends who were going to be involved in her treatment, she's rearranging job interviews around surgery, etc. And she mentioned that the ex will be taking care of her child. I was so not thrilled to read that bit of information. She is another ex of my ex, but unlike him and me, she and he are apparently the best of friends still. And, well... I felt jealous reading that. Like, I'm so awful to deal with that he dumped me, but he'll back her up to the hilt. I really just did not want to hear about him and be reminded of that again and feel like crap about myself.

Then I felt bad about being jealous because she's got cancer, for godsake! and how can I whine about this when she's in such a bad situation? Hell, who else could she get that would reliably watch her kid anyway? Lord knows her on-again, off-again boyfriend (I never know if they're on or off, I gave up keeping track or asking about him months ago) doesn't seem to be too swift in the kid department, or indeed in most departments of real life beyond work and boinkage. So I shouldn't be griping about this, especially given the current situation I'm in where things are going damn well for me, I've moved on, blahdeblahdeblah. But still, ugh, I don't want to hear about him. I would presume that she knows from him that he won't speak to me any more, but I am refusing to talk to her about him (long story why, won't be getting into it when I'm already writing this around midnight) from now on unless I have to. So yeah, she didn't know that I would not want to hear about him, but still.

I cannot believe that I am such a selfish bitch that I just spent more time bitching about how she's friends with our ex and I'm not than how freaked I feel about her having cancer here. Then again, what do you really say when the first surgery didn't get it all out and everything's up in the air?

I wrote back a halfassed "don't know what to say, e-mail me if you want to" kinda e-mail. Madame Writer here didn't have a fucking clue as to what to say to her. So much for being articulate and shit.

Man, I so want to go call David and talk to him about the cancer thing, you have no idea. I am restraining myself from the phone. I'll probably end up talking to him tomorrow anyway, I keep saying to myself. No, I am going to be good. I will finish this entry and go to bed, not call him and go on about this for an hour. I'm tired, I need to sleep, and while I did do some of that this weekend, I'm gonna need more. Go. To. Bed.

I figured that given how the end of the night was already going, I might as well really add to it and tell Shawn that I didn't want to date any more. Since I just bloody well can't do it in person in any way (and um, I really needed to get this over with now), I just babbled something stupid in e-mail about my life being chaos right now and I'm not mentally there. Certainly true enough, and that was true even before this came up. For obvious reasons, I'm not telling everything. I already am a sleazebucket for leading him on, no need to be even more of an asshole than I'm already being.

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