Chaos Attraction

Nobody Is Allowed To See Your Family Now

2020-03-20, 8:43 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Another exhausting day at work. I am now required to be on the phone with Tigress for 2 hours a day. Sigh. I’m not even at work and I can feel the contagion of panic just through all of the COMMUNICATION with my coworkers. The computer system kept being inexplicably buggy and shit. I got “looped in” on something I had NO IDEA about and Tigress kept asking me about it and I kept saying that I had no idea, please stop asking me! I know NOTHING! You trained me in NOTHING on this! I cannot possibly vouch an opinion as to how to proceed!

There are no plans about a lot of things. I sent a few “hey, does anyone have any idea about how to handle X, Y, and Z issues?” e-mails. Management has no idea. Oh, and speaking of management: GRANDBOSS IS NOW MOVING TO OHIO TO BE WITH HER GRANDCHILDREN. WHAT THE SMEGGING FUCKING FUCK, DON’T YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TRAVELING AND EXPOSING YOURSELF AND EXPOSING OTHERS?!?! HAVE YOU MISSED ALL THE NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT WHAT SHELTER IN PLACE MEANS?!?!? Not that I can say anything about that, mind you. At all. And yes, I am guessing that she is over sixty and really shouldn’t be doing this. I KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR FAMILY. NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO SEE YOUR FAMILY NOW.

On a slightly funnier note, my boss’s kids keep asking her for Lifesavers and she has been all “I know I’m in trouble when they start this at 9 a.m.” Today one of them asked at what time WAS it okay to ask for Lifesavers. I asked myself and she said, “I honestly couldn’t answer.”

They did have another Zoom meeting at lunch for advice on how to handle The Situation, which was kinda meditation-y. I did hear a story about how some kids are creating a Minecraft graduation ceremony, which I thought sounded adorable. I read that UCLA declared they were going to do a virtual ceremony, and then people have protested against it and just want to wait a year. I seriously cannot figure out how you’d do such a thing, except in Minecraft. I guess you could make speakers record their speeches, but I don’t think most people have their caps and gowns yet (I’m reasonably assuming that distribution of same isn’t going to happen when so many people have probably left, plus well, the health aspects) so having them oh, film themselves in caps and gowns walking around their bedroom and then air that to everybody? Probably not working either. Don’t even get me fucking started on diplomas.

Let’s just say in my job with Important Documents Always Going In The Mail, virtually none of that is going to happen now that I have no access to mailing shit. I’m told we can’t even go to the giant org to pick up our mail now, have no idea how the money people are going to do anything...just nothing.

One diagnosed case at my giant org in the branch office in the next county. And one publicized story about how someone at my giant org very obviously has it but cannot get tested. Joy.

I laid down for over two hours after work was over.

I’m not eating much. Jackie keeps sending me texts of empty shelves and saying she can’t get any food. I keep thinking I really don’t want to eat and have to figure out how to get more food. Or get fat since I am no longer exercising (so far I am not in the mood) and can’t exactly go clothes shopping any more.

Cost Plus decided to start texting me again, but in a more practical matter about “need food?” My dentist is closed until April 7, the date being “thrown around” here as the end of this, but yeah right. My dentist appointment is at the end of next month and I got some “please confirm” thing and was all, YEAH RIGHT WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS? The actor’s mailing list was all, “Just assume everything is canceled. Please donate money.” The yarn shop isn’t open for customers per the governor, but is still doing various online orders/phone calls/curbside pickup and closing on Sundays so they get a day off.

I’m watching the Arne and Carlos Daily Quarantine Knitting Podcast and Arne now has a cough... They are still being chipper about it, mind you, but that’s concerning.

(I have no idea why the word “chipper” has made it into every fucking entry for at least the last week, but there it keeps coming out.)

I have been getting into “pick a card” readings online. I’m not sure how this came about, but it’s people doing generic-yet-oddly-specific tarot/oracle/charm readings on YouTube. They ask a question, take various cards from 4-6 different decks, put them into piles, and then the viewer picks a deck and watches that section of the video. I really love it, actually. Years ago I wanted to come up with some kind of divination method involving mixing decks, but they already have. Good job. Maybe sometime I’ll try it alone at home.

I am getting SUPER cheerful and optimistic ones, which is odd given the circumstances.... I just watched one filmed TODAY so you know coronavirus was obviously a factor in it, and picked Group 3. Group 3’s was very cheerful, and despite the “clean your house! like a lot!” type stuff (unshocked), there were a lot of positive “hey, you have something to celebrate in April and you’re gonna get a lot of work done!” (true, I am certainly getting a lot of things done in general...just not cleaning the house because I already did a giant purge in January so there’s no need, and it’s not like I can take anything to the SPCA any more). And the 2 of Cups and 3 of Cups, which I would normally get quite excited about except that everybody is under quarantine. Mostly all I’ve done around the house is set up the home office, rearrange the yarn a bit and add some more decorations.

I admit I have been doing romantically themed readings, which is admittedly pointless under the circumstances. But every danged one of them (and I note that not every card draw, from what I peeked at, isn’t like that) has been mentioning all the cute “soulmate” and “twin flame” words. This is far more precious-y language than I am personally into, mind you, but it seems to be a recurring theme. Anyway, all of them have coincidentally said, “he’s into you, but circumstances are coming up, it’ll happen eventually.” Make of that what you will.

Meg’s take on the whole thing: ”What you have with Scott is special. There is no telling the twists and turns it will take. I don't think it is a time line thing (three years)...more like a deep river of feelings, twisting, crossing, mingling ....evaporation....rain...If it was fast and intense my guess is it would scare you (and possibly him)....If it is at all possible enjoy the twists and turns...”

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