I have so wanted to go shopping lately- by which I mean, BUY stuff. It's around the end of winter, I feel like I've worn all those clothes a bunch of times, I want something new to put on, I need some more warm weather work clothes (it seems like most of my spring clothes are well, er, skimpier than I thought they were on top), and a hot outfit or two to tantalize the boy wouldn't hurt either. (Though the weather going suddenly back to cold and 60 degrees yesterday has sucked ass. So much for going swimming this weekend.) However, shopping has been a strikeout.

I went to Clothestime yesterday and was delighted that they were having a sale- and yet, didn't find enough stuff worth buying. I found a nice black and white skirt and nice blue shirt, but they didn't seem unique enough to spend money on when I shouldn't be spending that much money on clothes. (Neither of those were on sale and cost more than most things there.) I knew better, even if I flirted with temptation by trying on flashy red glittery items and whatnot. I wish there were more clothing stores in this town, I think I've hit them all at this point.

And that, sadly, was the high point of my day. Lord, I miss having something to actually TALK about while on the phone. I dread being asked what's new in my life because the answer (on Wednesdays) is always "Absolutely NOTHING is new in my life. Nothing at all happened in the last three days. I sat and typed all day, same as I do every day, Pinky." Since I can't talk about my weekends much, I'm such a scintillating conversationalist with my parents.

I'm still all like "Drat, it's ONLY THURSDAY." Which is still better than Wednesday and only one day left to go, but given my one-day-offedness this week, it's still painful. Not only do I want to go see Dave, but my arms are starting to need time off. They needed time off a few days ago, but of course can't get it.

Back when I was in the poly relationship, the other woman in the triangle lived a few hours away from me and the ex. He saw me on weekdays and her on weekends, except for weekends when he had to work (he held a political position where he had to go to out of town conferences at least once a month). When she didn't get to see him on a weekend because he had a conference, she'd get all upset and whine about how she was losing her connection to him if she didn't get to see him every weekend. (Which usually led to her going into my time, but that's another loooong story and I won't go there.) At the time, I thought this was a big bunch of bullshit- I mean, really, he's your boyfriend, you talk to him every few days or so, it's not like he moved to another country here. However, now I'm actually feeling like I should apologize to her or something. Because having gone for awhile (I know, a SHORT while!) without seeing him, it is a bit weird.

However, we're going to have to get used to it, because it'll happen more often. I found out that I have to go home the first weekend in June because (a) my grandma and grandpa will be in town, (b) my baby cousin Jessica's getting baptized, and (c) my mom gets to be a godmother. The last bit delights her no end, given how much shit she's gotten from Dad's side of the family about not being Catholic.

Dad's side is VERY Catholic, while Mom's is pretty damn Methodist (her uncle was a minister). Back when they got engaged, she was going to convert to Catholicism, until they went to meet with a priest and found out that converting involved donating a ton of money to the Church. At which point Dad, who you do NOT piss off with regards to money if you know what's good for you, said something like "Fuck this, I don't want you joining this sleazy church" and stomped out. Mom, who didn't want to convert in the first place, was delighted. (Unfortunately I HAD to be baptized Catholic to shut my grandma up from crying. Gah. I would have infinitely preferred to not join the Church either. I pity my cousins when they get baptized with no choice in the matter also.) Anyway, she's gotten shit from my aunt and uncle for not being Catholic before by being asked to be godmother, but "oh, you have to convert immediately first." She didn't. Tammy (Jessica's mom), however, is much cooler than that and found out that only one godparent has to be Catholic. Hah.

When it comes to job hunting, I've seen two possible jobs that I might be able to do, with applications due next week. One is working in a department that I'm not so hot about (it's on the FAR edge of campus- about a 40 minute walk from home, and the busses don't go near it), and I think there was possible risk of infectious diseases (don't ask), but it looks like I theoretically could do the job, or at least there's nothing in it that I know very well I can't do. The other is one that set off a "Ping!" inside me the way that this job did- it doesn't have an enormous list of tasks to do and even involves writing- editing a department newsletter. This would be the one I'd like, except (a) they want knowledge of a financial system that I have had zero experience with, and (b) want a demonstrated year's experience of working with a committee. Whatever that means. I'm not sure if working for a bunch of different editors for two years and committee work in clubs would count for that. Though in all honesty, it doesn't sound that hard to me to do.

I should probably apply for #1 and not #2, since I know I can actually do the job and there's so few I am qualified to do. Even if I don't much want that one because I really don't want to have to hike for 40 minutes in fancy shoes to get to work every day. Yet my gut says to go with #2, and people keep telling me that even if I'm not qualified for every aspect of a job, I should apply anyway. (Though I don't much get the logic of this if I'm not the optimal candidate for it.)

This whole dilemma reminds me of one of my books on well, psychic powers (I know, I know), which talks about how intuitive people will hold off on applying for jobs until one leaps out at them. I kind of like doing that (well, if I get the job I do!), but it does make it REALLY hard to force yourself to apply for things that aren't setting your bells off. I'm thinking of doing tarot cards on these jobs when I get home to feel things out.

How's this for a possible new journal title? "Complete Bloody Chaos." I think I like the British swearing sound of that, and none of the other titles have really hit any chord with me that strongly.

You know what's a perversely odd thing to do? Read wedding message boards. I love Indiebride's because they're sensible, but dammit, there's just not enough posts. I found a thread on there about how the denziens of another wedding site were just really nuts and they all have screen names about their future husbands instead of mentioning themselves and how disturbing this is. I went over to another site (which may be run by the same folks, I'm not sure- it is confusing) to check this kind of disaster out, and lordy, lordy. Big enormous pictures and smileys and the names and the journals... But what's really the dirty fun is reading the advice/support section. Man, the situations people get into! Like this one woman who was just a total bitch- her father remarried and she can't stand the woman, so she claims on the board that this is just her father's girlfriend and she doesn't want anyone's boyfriends/girlfriends at her wedding at all, but the ones she has to invite can sit at the back by themselves. There's various horrid in-law stories, frightening job griping (suffice it to say I got very depressed after reading that one), crazy people- it's all kinds of fun!

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