Last night, Mom called: "Would you be bothered if we didn't do anything for Easter this year?" (Which is to say, I guess we didn't get any invites, Roger thought about calling up Evan, Mom pointed out Evan probably already made plans). Me: "You mean like the first year of pandemic? Actually, yeah." I suggested just doing lunch at Fenton's. We may do something like that.

Life at work: I took a shower during break (which was only about half of break), went to go see if something was on fire and it was, and my boss wanted to Zoom. Luckily she didn't seem to care if I had wet hair and a bathrobe on to key something ASAP.

I did a lot of lists. Especially ones dropped at 4:30 that they expected me to have by 5. I also made a giant fuckup--TWICE-- and deservedly got ripped a new asshole for it. Which I deserve. Someone said to me today that it's dealing with a broken system and being a stressed out human, and she's right, but also, any mistake I make (and there's plenty) can very well be used against me in the court of work. I'm constantly scared and stressed over that.

I continue to laugh at the 'PLEASE FILL OUT THE STAFF SURVEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WE WILL THROW MONEY TOWARDS CHARITY IF YOU DO" (which, btw, is like $1-2) emails. "We've only gotten 47% responding!" Gee, I wonder why people don't care and don't want to fill out the survey?! I just can't imagine why that wouldn't be a priority! Remember how you literally ask every year "do you think anything will change from the results of this survey?" and it's something like 70% of the responses say no? THAT MIGHT BE WHY. I don't think my voice MATTERS if it's heard or not. Nothing's going to change with my rankings of 1 in several areas, and I've learned not to make comments since they will be sent to management.

I love this song, Working On A Miracle: "I'll be there when you make up your mind."

Therapy: talked about Mom's little jerky behavior re: Easter and my therapist pointed out she was being mean (her mother is doing same of late), and why is that? No matter how much she loves you, she's wounded and wants to hurt you, and what she REALLY wants is an invite by Aunt Susie. She wants love from Aunt Susie because she's the only one who can provide a certain kind, except she can't...

After work: drank, went to the library, read, knitted, watched The Kominsky Method (Steve's recommendation, it's like Michael Douglas's character from Wonder Boys except now he's an acting coach.)

Evita rehearsal: Someone please explain to me the difference between "we can't do it without Che" for "Rollin Rollin Rollin" (which we were supposed to do and skipped because Jared and fam are on vacation this week) and the same going for "Rainbow Tour" (which we did instead, but...y'know, we had Steve doing the Che bits, as "Stunt Che" or "Under Che."). I dunno, rehearsing is kind of a mess. Jan blames it on never having everyone here at the same time due to conflicts. I dunno what to say there since I start being Ms. Conflict on one day next week.

Then she rehearsed the "Rollin Rollin Rollin" dance number...still annoyed not to be doing it. Meanwhile I tried to figure out how to reconfigure my knitting.

After that we did "Art of the Possible," in which I found out that somehow everyone else has rehearsed it without me, changed the order of when we go (once again I am nowhere near Scott) and "oh, some of us are doing high kicks now, you can do whatever you want." I did pirouettes instead, thanks. I am deeply nervous about holding a chair up over my head while doing ballet moves and not concussing myself or someone else. Sigh.

After that (for once Scott and I would have gotten out at the same time), somehow he ends up on the opposite side of the theater staring at me while he drinks and I am all, "fine, I take the hint, I give up, I won't wait to talk to you after this." Sigh. At least he waved hi at me when I started giggling while he was zipping up his pants during "Goodnight and Thank You" and briefly sat by me when we were directed to go into the middle, so there's that.

On the good news side, Evie has gotten an adorable bunny hat/scarf combo and when she pulls on the scarf ends, the ears wiggle. Everyone adored this very much and of course I want one in adult size. Lindsay on this: "Spent the last two weeks getting it off Amazon...Best $7 I ever spent."

Quotes:

Steve, after giving his "people still call me an admiral and I left the sea long ago" line: "I just called her a whore."

Brunette Sierra forgot to grab the chair on one go-round. Arie was fine with that. "I appreciate you missing it. I like my chair."

Sierra: "My 26-year-old butt can't do high kicks without stretches." Me: "My butt never could in the first place."

Apparently Sierra (we're hanging around on the same side, Evie was hanging in the back as well) told Evie what my name was and she replied, "My grandma Jennifer is 69." (I was impressed someone had the name at that age.) Sierra: "I'm pretty sure this one's younger." Evie asked and I was all "that answer would scare you, but younger than your grandma."

Anyway...I'm off from Evita (other than set building) until Sunday. Woot. No dance numbers for me, pout. This chair stuff is ALL the dancing I do.

Mom wanted a phone call after work. We have tentatively agreed to meet in Walnut Creek for Easter, I suggested a Fenton's-ish plaee called San Francisco Creamery (in Walnut Creek).

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry