And boy, was that the theme of the day. Here's how it went:

4-something a.m.: I wake up, exhausted yet unable to sleep, and continuing to have the headache I've had for the previous two days. Chugging more aspirin than I'm normally comfortable taking doesn't help.

5 a.m.: I give up and get out of bed and read wedding manuals.

8:45 a.m.: Mom told me last night that SUPPOSEDLY they were going to get to school by 9 a.m. and would call me when they left. I haven't heard anything, so I call. New ETA is 9:45 a.m.

9:45 a.m.: I arrive at the designated meeting place and pull out Diary of a Mad Bride.

10:12 a.m.: The relatives finally show up, 38 pages later.

10:30-11:30 a.m.: Watch the parade. Interesting features are the many electric cars (too bad I didn't bring a camera to take pics for Dave) and the Humboldt marching band, which compared to some of the other spiffed-out bands looked like the Band Most Likely To Be On Something. Especially the guy who had apparently used to have dreads, then shaved his head, except for two small dreaded patches on his head like horns. Man, was that ever ugly-looking.

Unfortunately, my aunt and uncle brought along their dog, Holly, who was a sweet puppy and has gone downhill from there. She whined, whimpered, yelped, licked, and swatted people with her tail pretty much all day long, not to mention getting irritable whenever another dog walked by. Honestly, if your dog acts like this around other dogs, she should not be coming to Picnic Day.

I also, of course, forgot to put on sunscreen and ended up with inadvertent tan lines again. People claim I got sunburned, but when I go home it doesn't look nearly that bad.

11:30 a.m.: As usual, Dad has to go to the bathroom. (Unfortunately, they'd just started him on some really unpleasant new medication. Man, did I feel guilty for having him up there when he felt that bad.) Mom and Dad take off, the rest of the family and I go sit down by a fountain, where dogs are bathing.

11:35 a.m.: Holly and another dog get in a fight and have to be dragged apart.

11:40 a.m.: I run into my friend/ex-roommate Sarah and her boyfriend Alex, who I haven't heard from since last spring. She's dyed her hair and acquired her favorite horse (long story), I told her about the engagement. We write down each other's numbers/contact info again just to make sure.

11:50 a.m.: I run into a guy I used to hang out with in certain classes. My friend Jackie also used to hang out with him. I ask how it's going, and mention that Jackie had wondered the other day if I ever ran into him. He says he's fine, moving to Iowa. I ask why, and he indicates the chick next to him and says it's so she can go to medical school there. Oops. I met his girlfriend like a year ago and didn't remember her too well, but I do know that she's VERY jealous, and at one point the boy seemed to have a thing for Jackie. Jackie would never go for it, but I don't think the girlfriend would ever believe that. Ooops. Excuse me while I remove the foot from the mouth...

11:55 a.m.: I try to find my relatives again and manage to track down Uncle Brad, Cassie and Holly. Aunt Susie and the other girls have gone who-knows-where. We go sit down to wait for them.

12 p.m.-ish: Uncle Brad wanders off and back a bunch of times while looking for them. He leaves Holly with Cassie. Every time Uncle Brad comes back, Holly pulls so hard Cassie loses the leash, and thus must be caught again. We still can't find anybody.

12:30 p.m.: Aunt Susie and the girls return, loaded down with newly bought UCD merchandise. Apparently if you buy something in the bookstore, you get a free mug.

12:35 p.m.: Mom comes back, having tired of standing around outside the men's room and said she'd meet Dad back in ten minutes. She sees the new merch and hears about the free, and guess where she wants to go.

12:36 p.m.: Mom spots the graduation ring sellers and talks to them about my opal ring that cracked. They go on cheerfully about how they'll replace it for free... oh, wait, you said that was an opal ring? Never mind, that's $50 and no guarantee of replacement.

12:40 p.m.: We go inside the bookstore, which is packed. Mom gripes at me for not buying her a "Someone at UC Davis Loves Me" bear. I go "You bought ME that bear!" She sees a freebie offer at the Clinique counter and buys something to get me that.

12:50 p.m.: We find out that "only people who bought T-shirts or hats" get the free mug.

12:55 p.m.: Aunt, uncle, cousins, and dog have all wandered off. I go stand around by the bathroom with Mom, feeling very creeped out, especially since people keep walking by to say "This is only for men, the ladies' room is downstairs."

1 p.m.: Mom gets a call on the walkie-talkie from Uncle Brad, saying they're... we have no idea what he said, but it came out to "somewhere downstairs around where we were before." I go downstairs to look for them.

1:10 p.m.: I've circled the building three times, and no relatives are to be found anywhere in the vicinity. I go back up to the bathroom, but Mom's gone. I finally find her back downstairs again, claiming that the relatives were over by the viticulture exhibit and I should have known that.

Um, you didn't say that.

1:15 p.m.: We eat. I look at my watch and realize that with this large and slow bunch, I will never get to see the fashion show. Especially since they want to go look at dogs on the far side of campus. They offer me a walkie-talkie to find them, but I groan and say "I haven't been able to understand anything on one of those all day" (it's loud and packed around there, folks), "I'll never find you again if I leave, forget it." Sigh.

2 p.m.: We sit out in the now-broiling sun and watch dogs catch, or fail to catch, Frisbees. It would be quite entertaining if not for the heat, lack of wind and shade, and Holly's racket.

2:15 p.m.: Heat's getting to everyone and Dad has to go to the can again, we all go into the rec hall and wait around for him. By now I am so ready to go the hell home.

3 p.m.: We're over by the Silo restaurant, and Aunt Susie and Alicia go off to buy drinks. Mom heads off in the other direction to buy Dad ice cream. I find a table, offer to save it for everyone to sit at later and collapse at it.

3:30 p.m.: Nobody has come to sit down with me (though several strange people have sat at my table, gotten up, and taken chairs without my consent). Mom comes up to me and gripes that everyone's eating outside and why on earth didn't I go get a drink like everyone else did? Am I too cheap? "I didn't WANT a drink" does not go over well, and she goes to buy me one anyway.

3:45 p.m.: We spot some MTV cameras filming a few chicks sitting at a table (presumably doing a confessional) nearby. My cousins and I sneakily walk behind them so we can get on camera. Yes, that was my idea to do.

4 p.m.: We go watch Battle of the Bands. I'm barely standing up and not biting heads off, I'm so tired and cranky.

4:15 p.m.: The relatives depart, we head out of town to go eat. Mom lands in Vacaville and offers to let me go shopping. I'm bloody tired, but not hungry enough for dinner yet, so I might as well. I go into the bookstore. They follow me in. I realize that all those damned drinks have had their usual effect, and tell them I'm going to the bathroom.

4:45 p.m.: I return to find that they have disappeared, and are not in any of the stores on this block of the outlets, nor are they in any of their favorite stores on any other nearby blocks of the outlets, nor are they in the can again. Where the hell did they go? I know Mom's going to kill me for getting lost. I give up and go try on (too see- through, unfortunately) clothes for awhile, thinking "She's gonna kill me" the entire time.

5:45 p.m.: I'm hunting around for them again, and Mom comes out of a store to yell at me to come in.

6 p.m.: We go eat.

8 p.m.: Man, will we EVER get out of here?

8:30 p.m.: We start making preparations to leave. Then guess what happens?

9 p.m.: We actually leave the restaurant. In the car, Mom's talking about how another ex-best-friend of mine's mother didn't come in to get her taxes done this year, so she never got to find out if the girl got married like she was supposed to this year. I really wanted to ask her opinion on er, young age marriage (though I really should know better- Mom did it at 20), but wasn't sure how to go about it. She asked me how I felt about them getting married. Old habits die hard- my first impulse was still to say "That freaks me out they did that at such a young age." (Of course, then I have to go "Oh, wait, Ms. Quickie Engagement here can't even say anything any more." Just because they got engaged at 21 or 22 does not mean I have an enormous moral high horse about young marriage.) I couldn't say that, nor could I say anything that she might be able to think back on later and think "Oh my lord, she was engaged already by then!" I basically muttered something along the lines of "huh, that's still kinda weird." Kinda lying much, Jen? I asked Mom how she felt then and she said something vague about how it was different. Actually I don't really remember, so I don't think she answered it very well for me to pin any real opinion down on her!

I'm so wondering how she's going to take the news.

9: 15 p.m.: I'm finally dropped off at home, and I'm feeling like quite the cranky biyotch. I didn't get to enjoy the day much, hardly saw anything, didn't find any suitable clothes, and I'm way sick of looking for people!

The day improved from here, really.

I went to go call Dave, and he said his old best friend from down south had just called and could he call me back. Fine by me, I go on chat.

Hill hadn't been home when I got there, which was kind of a surprise, as she'd indicated to me she planned on staying home and avoiding the Picnic Day mobs outside. She got home about 15 minutes after I had, and she was REALLY hyper. I haven't seen her that happy after several daquiries during the middle of a party, even. I figure she's been out getting a little bombed at a friend's place or something. She bounces in, cranks up the music, and is all insistent that I go read her essay in her room right now. A few minutes after that, Dave calls back, and I'm asking him how the conversation went with his friend, when... he walks into Hill's room, going "Hey, did you guys know you left your door open?" I dropped the phone and rushed him.

Yup, they'd been planning it for days now. (Which would explain Dave's comment last night about how he really wanted to tell me what my present was, but couldn't.) Hill said I was extremely easy to fool. He doesn't have to leave until Tuesday afternoon. So it's not my birthday, but you know what, I think I'll manage anyway =) At any rate, my parents are coming up for the night on the day, and I'll be seeing him a few days after that. Woo hoo!

I love my present!

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