I have been awake since 4 a.m. What good is that? I spent most of it desperately trying to find decent "Make It Sew" face masks and failing. Found a few websites and they all appear to be quite scammy. Waaaaaaaah.

WandaVision, episode 5--watching it now since I'm up, might as well: "On A Very Special Episode..." Welcome to the 80's! I love how Wanda has drastically different hair every episode. Also, magic sleep doesn't work on her twins? "Why won't you do what I want?" Finally, there's the Agnes Jazzercize outfit they've been teasing for weeks. "Should we just take it from the top?" SORAS JUST HAPPENED LOL. Meanwhile, Agnes gets drunk on the kitchen. Not in it, on it. I admit I was kinda hoping for more Full House tributes in this. The theme song is too slow for an 80's theme, I say. Kinda a buzzkill. Photos of Vision as a robot kid are....something else. Ditto the ones of him dressed as Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Monica wakes up at the base and is welcomed by Jimmy and Darcy. Testing seems to be going...poorly. "We now know she is the principal victimIZER." "No funny nickname?" "Not a one." ????? Jimmy and Darcy: "I try not to speak ill of people--" "Let me. Hayward's a d--" I LOVE THESE TWO TOGETHER SOULMATES IN SNARK. Nine days ago, Wanda abducted Vision's body. And reanimated it. This has been going on for nine days?! How did she bring him back without the mind stone? Vision is suspecting that Agnes is going to come over....with a dog house. Wanda does magic in front of Agnes when Agnes wasn't looking. "She didn't even notice when the babies went from babies to 5-year-olds." Poor Vision. Totally suspecting something. HAHAHAHAH THE KIDS JUST AGED THEMSELVES TO AGE 10 AND AGNES DOESN'T EVEN GET FAZED THIS SHOW IS CRACKING ME UP SO MUCH Wanda can rewrite reality...."Geraldine's" clothes are bulletproof since she went in with a vest on. INTERESTING. Did Darcy send an email to the 80's? Nobody else takes it seriously.

Vision somehow realizes he has magic powers and starts zapping his coworker....uh-oh, he just zapped that poor guy into reality. Vision puts him back, that's just sad. Boss guy shoots a missile into the bubble. Wanda comes out and throws it back. "Stay out of my home." She has what she wants and no one will ever take it from her again. Uh-oh, Sparky the dog apparently ate azalea leaves and died. Agnes found the body. One of the kids asks her to "fix dead." "You can do that?" Agnes says. Wanda claims there are rules, like "we can't rush aging just because it's convenient." O RLY? UH-OH VISION JUST TOLD WANDA ABOUT HIS COWORKER. "You can't control me the way I do them." "Can't I?" Vision attempts to keep having this conversation as the credits roll. He doesn't like her controlling him, he doesn't know who he is. (The show gives up on the credits.) Do you think I'm in charge of EVERYONE in Westview?! She doesn't know how it started in the first place. DRAMATIC DOOR OPENING, SIRENS GOING OFF AT THE BASE. And it's.... Pietro?! "She recast Pietro?!" says Darcy. "Who's the popsicle?" he asks. (Literally?) And scene!

Given what happened a week ago, this week was actually very chill and nice, for work. I am sad to say that only one Important Document got mailed ALL WEEK LONG under The New System...sigh. And that one happened because my buddy was in the office and I got her to look for it. Even with three people in there, this all piles up. Sigh.

But other than that, we went on to Round Two of Quarterly Project today and that went pretty well, except for the tech team telling us we had "errors," which we don't actually have, and my boss tried to follow up on it and we still don't know how errors-that-are-not-errors "happen," and by the end of it all her brains were quite fried.

I also had some amusing work drama today. How do I translate this into generic terms others might understand....Once upon a time, someone missed a deadline, but needed to be certified for their job. Apparently The Organization That Rules Us All (i.e. "God") decreed that this missed deadline meant that they could not get certified on time with the rest of everyone in Quarterly Project, and then someone got the bright idea to ask if they could certify this person for the future, months from now. To which I was quite skeptical, did not think it would be allowed, and...yet, "God" allowed it. I duly had to do what "God" said and put in the certify info, but I knew darned well the tech team was going to object at some point and HOO BOY DID THEY OBJECT TODAY. Like "you need to decertify them for at least several weeks or this literally screws up everyone else's" level of objection. So I spent the morning brainstorming on this one, and we all determined that the best way around this mess is to ask "God" to bypass their own rules and just let the person finish normally/on time. So we'll see how it goes.

My boss also wanted me to test a computer system today, which was amusing because I could upload silly animal pictures the entire time. Also, this one WORKED, which was a great relief considering that the last thing I ever tested around here is our shitty new database, which is still broken on many levels.

I went outside today, no smokers!

After that, I talked with Meg about crafts after work, which was fun and relaxing. She's doing a weaving with hearts on a branched twig, which looks cool. I also ordered groceries tonight. They were out of a lot of stuff I wanted like a lot of the noodles and stuffing (it's so random what shit they will be out of for months), and claimed to have orange soda and then did not. Wah.

Tonight's viewing: Sputnik-5, the play Robert is in with the anthropomorphic animals. Two dogs, a rabbit (named "Rabbit" in Russian), a rat... etc. are launching on Sputnik. Robert, for the record, is playing Oleg, a medical professional in a white coat and suit, not a dog (I was wondering....). He plays the happy one who loves the dogs. "Any of you bark at him, I'll give you extra biscuits," he says about his crankier coworker.

I love how one of the dogs barfts and then eats it back up, and then the rabbit is all "Ewwww" and the dog is all "Don't rabbits eat their own poop?" "It's an important part of the digestion system! Dogs eat poop for the fun of it!" Why yes, I was thinking same!

Oleg argues persuasively that it sucks that they're planning on these dogs dying for science, or getting accidentally blown up, etc. Did we learn from this? No! But anyway, one of the dogs overheard all of this--and that their predecessors died--and tells the others. "I thought we were going up here as heroes." After the rabbit informs them they're risking their lives for a competition....that 's very depressing. Apparently he heard all this from Petrov, the cranky guy.

Oleg is "doing his best to stop other humans from chewing the shoe." Quite a metaphor there.

Oleg is happy to see his dogs survived and promises them ALL THE BISCUITS. It's adorable. He later speaks out against the missions. Afterwards, I texted Robert "Congratulations!" with two dog emojis and a biscuit.

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