Chaos Attraction

A Shock To The System

2002-07-03, 12:35 p.m.

Remember the cough I had over the weekend? Well, naturally, things got worse from there. On Monday I woke up (after my usual four hours' sleep on Sunday night) and was really woozy and out of it. Not to mention that my forehead was pretty dang hot, though given that it was over 100 that day and boiling in the apartment despite fans, that may have just been me being hot.

I am quite the clotheshorse, and when I was too hazy to figure out how to pick out a matching outfit to wear to work, well... I gave up and called in sick. Spent the next six hours asleep, then felt much better. Not hazy, anyway. Though when I decided to go in the pool to cool myself off, putting on sunscreen beforehand tired me out. Ugh. The pool wasn't much fun either.

Anyway, despite that sad tired incident, I felt like I could go back to work the next day. Hell, I could still think and function, I just wouldn't walk around a whole lot. Easy, huh?

I was a dumbass and hadn't recharged the phone since I got home Sunday night, and ended up having to talk to Dave on the cell. I wandered around the house looking for an outlet to plug my charger into. My charger, however, has a very large, heavy, square backing on it. The outlets in this apartment generally canNOT hold such an item. I started checking various plugs to see what could possibly be temporarily unplugged for awhile, and decided to attempt killing the Clapper. Unplugged it, put my plug in, it promptly fell back out. I gave up and went to plug the Clapper back in, and promptly shocked my fingers. Brilliant move there. I really should just go hide in a sensory deprivation tank for awhile, because I sure do seem to be fucking my body up lately.

Anyway, suffice it to say that the one outlet I could plug the thing into had extremely bad reception, and then the phone died. I gave up, plugged it in, and went to bed.

Dave called me an hour and a half later, absolutely FRANTIC. I mean, crying and kinda hysterical frantic. Apparently he'd once read this Robin Cook novel where some woman shocked herself and then died two hours later, and he'd dreamt that he called me on Tuesday and Hill answered the phone and said I hadn't woken up.

I felt rather akin to someone who's trying to talk someone else down off a ledge. "Yes, I'm still alive, my fingers are okay, I didn't go to sleep, I've just been lying here bored for an hour and a half, I'm FINE, no I won't be plugging anything else in," etc., etc. I also kept making jokes and tried telling him about the one time I had a death dream (the Ewoks tried to kill me), and got a lot of "That's not funny." Man, I'm better comforting in person, when I can just hug them and keep my mouth shut instead of having to think of something, anything, to say.

Things haven't improved much since then, though I'm proud to say that I haven't stuck my fingers into any electrical outlets. I tried to go to work Tuesday and the second I walked into the office I started to feel out of it and spacey and zombified. Gave up after a couple hours and went home, didn't even try to go today because I have only gotten worse (*coughcoughcough* has now gone to *COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!!*)

Eating has no appeal for me and hasn't since Friday. There is not a single food substance that tastes good right now or that I want to put into my mouth. It's too much effort to eat. Liquids are great, I'm drinking plenty of those, but food? Ugh. Hill made fajitas today and they made the apartment REEK. The smell of meat is extremely heavy and omnipresent. I'm keeping my door closed.

Weirdly enough, except for the COUGH, when I'm lying down or sitting around, I feel pretty normal. (Which is why I thought I could go back to work. Well, maybe if I could have done it lying down...) It's walking around I just don't have much energy for. I do NOT know how I'm going to make it to the train station early enough to pick up a ticket (naturally I was too sick to do it early). I just don't have the strength to walk for fifteen minutes in 90+ heat while sick and carrying luggage, and of course Hill works afternoons. As for taking the bus today, I could take the line from my apartment to campus to get me there around 4:40, then hike across campus (ugh, ugh!) to catch the bus to the station at 5, which would get me there around 5:15. It being a holiday weekend, there will be a line across the station of people buying tickets. I just hope I can stand in the line for that long, though given the timing hopefully I'll manage to get it before my bus leaves.

I miss having all my bouncy energy so I can do all these things by myself. Truth be told, I'm not sure at all I can physically handle making it there alone. Once I'm there I'm fine- all you do is sit around for a few hours and you're there, no energy required- but in the meantime...

And I need someone to take care of me. Doing this alone rots.


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