Chaos Attraction

Charlotte's Web Audition

2020-10-03, 10:13 p.m.

Lambtown, the fiber festival usually held in the next town over from here, is online this year and while I couldn't watch anything they did during my workday yesterday, I tuned in to watch a workshop panel this morning, with four people talking about how they hadn't realized what the pandemic was going to do or how it was going to go. Well, who did. Anyway, the featured players were Kira (moderator, works for Lambtown), Abby Franquemont, Judith MacKenzie, and Maggie Casey. (No, I didn't know who anyone was other than Kira before this.) Abby is in Peru(!), Maggie is in Colorado, unclear on others' locations. Kira said this was getting "record numbers of everything," with a thousand people downloading the weekend's app and 50 were in the Zoom webinar so far.

Lines I wrote down:
"I like humans. Close. Within touching distance." -Judith
Abby: more draining, less energizing to do virtual classes
Abby: likes to plan, can't plan past 2 weeks, was trying to do her 5 year plan and it was impossible. "Learning how to exist without a 5 year plan is really hard."
Abby: "I had four yards of alpaca fiber and no yarn. I had no yarn to support 5 knitters with idle hands in quarantine." Their yarn stash ran out after a month and "that's just not a survivable thing." I ....guess they don't stash in Peru? This shocked me.
"It causes me physical pain to watch you knit like that," -Abby on wanting to take the yarn out of your hands when fuckups are happening.
"Here people are all, eh, if it doesn't work out, I'll make another one." -Abby on the low stakes Peruvian knitting style compared to people in the US worrying about wasting nice yarn.
Paraphrasing Abby: I am the product of two anthropologists getting together to experiment with fiber. She couldn't walk away from fiber.
Maggie: what did you tell your friends when you told them you were doing a spinning class, because you knew your friends assumed you were doing it on bikes. "Take chances, you never know what it could do to your life. I'm glad I took that horrible class."

On being asked if they are doing any epic projects: "I'm a bear of very little brain and my attention span isn't big enough for epic." -Maggie, who said she had a list.
Abby: "Maybe it's an epic list."
"...the wretched cochineal bugs wandering off, yet again." -Judith
"Cotton plants do not make wonderful Christmas trees." -Maggie on gardening, she said she skipped it this year because it was 99 degrees in Colorado.
"I love living in a world where people give me textile presents all the time." -Abby on Peruvian gifting, says that didn't happen in America either.
Judith had a stroke when she was younger and pregnant, says that "spinning repaired my brain." improved her vocabulary and ability to speak. doesn't drag her leg or drool that much. "It involves your hands in a curious way." I emailed this to Meg.
"When I started spinning, back in the dark ages..." -Judith
"This feels like whiskey at the bar at the end of the fiber festival." -Kira, moderator
They are recording and going to put them on the Lambtown YouTube.
Kira: "I love that during the workshops, everybody's pets made a cameo."
Kira: "We had to try new stuff."

In between audition stuff (see below), I watched the Lambtown vendor interviews until the audition started. This was pretty boring because it started out with the Lambtown vendor in charge of merch being all "Here's this shirt, here's that shirt, here it is in 3/4 lengths, here's my toddler in a shirt." For me it was the equivalent of someone reading me a book aloud when I've already read ahead and finished the book (or in this case, already looked at the vendor merch). The next vendor showed how her farm got set on fire. They can't go back to growing again for two seasons (assuming it doesn't burn again, I guess). Then there was an interview with a ceramicist, which was more interesting, but I didn't bother to take any notes on it. After that I clicked out to go do the audition.

I left the Zoom running on the old computer on mute and then skipped off on the new computer to go to the audition open info session at 11. Rehearsal will be 5-8 on weekdays, probably not on weekends until the end, performances in November. 28 auditioning, they will probably cast about half of them. The audition is improv/games but the show is scripted, they will mail you a script and/or costumes. 24 people were on this Zoom call, they said they were doing group auditions of 10-12 for an hour apiece. They will call you on the phone by late afternoon if you are in, send an email in late afternoon if you are not. The cast is about 50/50 animals to people--that's a lot more people parts than I was expecting :P One person said in the chat that they were scared and they said, "We're a little scared too." Also, "This is a play, virtually, it'll be new and weird!"

There were 11 people in my group, me being the oldest and there being one other adult (who ah....I don't think she was that good? A bit flat?) and mostly teens/kids. I assume they probably had about 3 groups of auditions for this. Per an improv-only audition, I suppose it was a bit odd.

They had us go into breakout rooms for like a minute to talk to someone--not sure what that was about. I got to talk to the stage manager, which was great because I talked about the online plays I've been in and she talked about what she will be doing stage-managing-wise online. Interesting stuff.

Then we had to get up from our seats and run back and forth up close/far away from the camera doing big and small faces, pretending to be a lion, etc.
We were to pick an object and explain how it made us feel. I picked my stuffed cat since it was right there. One girl got her actual dog, one kid had a giant Peter Pan music box, one had a violin, one had...masking tape. Then we had to do a transition from using the object to being the object. I don't think I did this super standout--I went second, I didn't think of something super audacious and mostly just did a sweet purry cat--but oh well. I will note that the guy acting out the music box did a dance, the guy playing his own violin wondered if he was going through puberty, and the girl with the tape literally taped herself.

Then we had to play "Trapped in the Zoom Box" and try to figure out some way to escape, but we can't escape until they tell us we can get out. They would also throw out some direction here and there. Like I got "you're allergic to the ceiling!" and eventually got told to pull a string to get out. I did a dramatic yank and collapse into the chair, along with fake sneezing. Possibly the most amusing was from one of the two brothers sharing a camera and he threw his brother's toy and yelled, "Don't tell your brother I threw this. Wingardium leviosa!"

Then we got into two groups of 5/6 and were supposed to spend a minute acting out a plotline in which an alien lands, takes some item of ours ("technology") and then we all try to get it back and everyone has to do something. I think our group did quite a good job on this, a little better than the other group, though I admit I'm biased. Before they told us the object, we all discussed what kind of character we were going to play--angry, cautious, curious, active, and in the case of the other adult, "I'm the snitch." blinkblink Okay, whatever that entails.... So we had one girl with alien sunglasses being the alien, and the rest of us discussed what to do and then eventually the brave kid lassos her (the alien girl did a great job of playing tied up/dragged across the room) while the rest of us pulled on the rope. Good job, all! (Though if you're wondering what the snitch did, she said "I agree, she stole it." Mmkay? I think most people did a good job, but I dunno about her, honestly.)
Then the last one was to think of one word to describe your best friend. I said "astonishing." I'm not sure what that one did.... Anyway, after that they said virtual auditions are scary for everybody, they will call you in the late afternoon if you get in and email in the evening if you don't. I put their number in my phone to remind me to actually answer said phone but I probably won't be doing anything.

They said our odds of getting in are 50/50 and they didn't have a specific number of people they were going to cast, but I looked up the script info later and there's a lot of potential for extra parts. I assume I'd probably be up for the mom, the aunt (not that I'm the person you'd really cast for either of those, other than age), or some random animal/extra. I'll take whatever. Just anything. I did see two versions of the same Joseph Robinette scripts, one that has almost no female parts and one that at least has a mom and aunt, so I guess there's that.

After that....I went to FedEx to photocopy the various programs/memorabilia I had around the house from the plays we were in to pass off to Scott. (I have no idea if he ever kept any stuff like that, but hell, anything at this point.) I can say that FedEx was large and fairly well empty and had a lot of spacing for a line, but mostly people were just in there using the photocopiers too. I was surprised that the things made me use cash (really? cash? haven't used that since the beforetimes, it's a good thing I still had a $10 bill around) and I had to buy a whole card for it., but I managed to get the photocopier to work since it worked like the work one. I was in and out in twelve minutes and wasn't very near people and hope I didn't catch anything from being indoors with people. Two week wait on that.

After that I did my usual Silkwood shower, but today I actually shaved everything since probably, I dunno, fall 2019. It took a while. I also painted my toenails. I will be trying to impersonate my former self tomorrow (assuming I don't chicken out). We'll see how it goes if I go.... Then I did my 90 minute walk around the house.

I ordered yarn from Lambtown yesterday and I got it in the mail today! Crazy! (Turns out she's in West Sac, but that's still insanely fast!)

Linda emailed to say that Robin Hood premieres online around late October through around mid November on YouTube. We will get a private link around this week once it's uploaded. She sent out a flyer and said if all goes well there will be an article in the paper and they are putting together a trailer, and she can get us a thumb drive of the show if we like. I asked for it since lord knows this will not last long on YouTube since they are insisting on stealing video...I will send it out to people ASAP warning them to watching ASAP once I can. Linda also said she'd love to see us all and wants a Zoom cast party. Sign me up for that too.

While writing her back about asking for a thumb drive and saying yes to a cast party, I got up the nerve to suggest doing something like this for Winters theater and if she thought it might work or not. I have no idea, but things don't work if I suggest them, but maybe if she was into it....?

At five, I watched the Capital Storytelling slam.
* John Aubert: "I shouldn't have watched The Exorcist at five years old."
"We did not have demonic possession on the program."
"I didn't need an ordained priest to perform an exorcism, I could just do it with (?) and thumbtacks."
* Jan Littman: The Happiest Place on Earth. She worked at Disneyworld. Fantasyland. "I wonder if I'm the only unhappy person in the happiest place on earth." She quit after five days. Mickey also flirted with her. What looks happy may require a lot more than one is willing to pay. *
Jane Gorsi: campaigning for a candidate in the 60's, and Bobby Kennedy's murder.
* Ellen Swain: "He is NOT the guy you want to imagine naked scuba diving."
"I am about to land on the most ENORMOUS shark I have ever seen...."
* John Patterson: "I just finished first grade, I realized I didn't know a lot." His parents are driving around looking for where to build a farm. Honestly, it was rather slow and he likes to describe things so I kinda zoned out after a while.
* Lisa Cantrell: "Dorito Moments." "I only knew a world where my brother had cancer." He also liked to play pranks. He substituted apple juice for a pee cup and pretended to drink pee in front of a nurse. Her brother pretended he was going to die from eating a Dorito after he talked her out of giving him one. She donated marrow when she was 8 and he was 11. He had to kind of break the news to her that he was going to die, subtly.

After that I went back to Lambtown, which was doing some presentation by a bunch of designers talking about their shawls. Not sure why I was watching this one actually since I am not a shawl person (seriously I can't figure out how one wears a shawl if they aren't going to prom or a wedding), I guess I'm just that bored.

Watched the South Park Pandemic Special.

Jackie passed me a picture of a Baby Yoda Christmas sweater and I ordered one of the last few left. Then she was all "Wow miss money bags...yoda is taking all of your money" and I just wanted to say "For fuck's sake, you buy all kinds of expensive shit for other people (who don't even appreciate it) all the time when unemployed and I have no idea how you are doing that, but do I say anything?" I said since I spend less money I seem to have some more of it around and Baby Yoda makes me happy while life is horrible.

And after that...I put together the stuff I am planning on giving Scott. Then tried to think of what to say in a card. Then felt utterly stumped and stupid over it. After an hour or two of wanky journaling, I finally figured out what to say in a card to Scott. It's perfect. About how I don't want to lose the friendship to pandemic and depression.

(It finally dawned on me why I have been freaking out: when you lose your sense of humor, which he seems to have for 2 weeks, that is when things are really bad for me....)

Annoyingly, after that, I couldn't sleep. I mean, it figures, but still. Don't you just love wasting a weeknight on not sleeping?

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