So, I'm sure you're all wondering how telling my parents went.

*shudder*

The day started out fine- Dave and I went out to get a "placeholder" ring to show off to the parents in case they asked for one, and picked up a pretty purpleish moonstone. (Which unfortunately is too big for my finger now, as wouldn't you know mine swelled up two sizes during ring trials.) After getting that, he proposed to me again out on the street. Awwww.

We then spent the rest of the day feeling calm and happy and fiddling around with CD burning, as Mom and Dad took forever to show up. They finally called at 4:45 to say they'd be there in an hour.

Fifteen minutes after that, Dave starts feeling sick. He goes to lie down for a half hour (he's gone back to the whole not-sleeping-at-all insomnia thing in the last two days), and I can barely get him up at 5:30. He has gone ZONKED. I sit there thinking "Aw shit, right when I need him, right when my parents are showing up, and he's barely awake! What am I going to do?" Not to mention I still have NO idea how to handle the parental telling. I had to go steal one of Hill's frappachinos (in my defense, she said she wasn't that likely to drink them) to get some quick caffeine into him.

By the time she knocks on the door, I'm a shaking, hysterical, hyper, oh-my-GOD wreck of fear. Dave tries to tell me to calm down, and I'm all "I can't." We're so slow making it to the door that she keeps knocking again.

I answer the door, hold out my hand, and practically yell, like I was announcing there was a fire or something, "I'm engaged!" (As Dave put it to Mom later, "I wasn't expecting her to blurt it out like that.")

Mom later said that I seemed "so excited!" about it. I didn't feel excited about it at all, more like I was having a panic attack.

At the time, she took it well. Not quite as "deadpan" as Dave thought it was (not up to his mom's standards in deadpan, I think), but fairly smiley/huggy about it. Then we got into the car and talked about other things, while I sat there shaking and silent. That was when I realized- shit, I still have to tell Dad, and now it's too late to blurt that out. Dave tried to get me to frigging calm down once we got to the restaurant (the parents decided they didn't want to go computer shopping after all), but that sure as hell didn't work.

He went to the bathroom soon after we got there, and practically the second after he got up, Mom's hissing at me across the table about "is there any other news?" So I said it. He asked to see the ring and then IMMEDIATELY burst into hysterical crying. Right in the middle of the restaurant.

I felt tiny. I wanted to die. I can't go to that restaurant again. Dave (when he returned) felt like shit for "taking his daughter away." We never did get any coherent words out of Dad the rest of the night, and Dave felt so bad he kept heading to the restroom just to get away from the situation.

There's nothing like a wedding in my family to absolutely KILL conversation. We avoided the topic the rest of the night, except for when Dave was in the can. During those times Mom kept wanting to know if it was going to be a long engagement and was I really sure about this and about finding the right person. In between those moments, she was smiling and winking! I just kept looking at my plate. Dave looked like he was going to pass out into his.

Worst. Dinner. Ever. And would you believe Mom thought it was fun? Seriously, she said that.

She also said she was glad we told. I'm not much feeling glad about it.

Oh, would you believe that SHE BOUGHT ME A WIG? Seriously, as in bought me a wig to wear every single day to work, because my hair (to her) is so bad. It's not the worst wig in the world- it's amusing, if kinda mullet-ish and way too big on top for my tastes- it'll work for Halloween- but it doesn't remotely look like my actual hair, and I'd feel like a freak wearing it any other time than Halloween. Incredibly obvious, and I can't believe she was serious about that.

After we got home, Dave had a meltdown. He'd been worried all night about them not liking him because he's not employed, etc., and the whole crying thing played into his fears big time. We had a long conversation about financials and stuff like that afterwards. What a fun night.

I knew I'd really hear Mom's true feelings about everything once Dave was gone, and I was right. Ugh.

She was being very nice about it, said Dad's crying wasn't necessarily because he hated Dave's guts (albeit it is hard to tell). And that Dave seems nice, he sure does seem to care about me, and it's good that we talk about stuff... but...

"Isn't this too soon? Why are you doing this now? Are you sure you're with the right person? What about his medical problems- you couldn't find someone healthy? (Well, Mom, you married Dad, and he didn't start having problems until you were married what, 8 years?) He's not even working now. However is he going to support you? (And what is with this question? Is it not 2002? Can't women at least support themselves yet? Does she honest-to-God think that I of all people want to stay home nursing babies?) You're not going to support him, are you? And he really should have a college degree. Everyone should at least have a Master's these days, including you, Jen. (The HELL?!?! First time I ever heard that one.) And what about his credit? He should get a decent car. I don't think either of you could afford very much now. Didn't we raise you to appreciate buying quality things? You go on about how cheap things were, but that's not good for it to be cheap. I'd feel a lot better about this if you two were settled already."

In short, exactly what I was expecting (except for the master's remark!). So why do I feel so goddamn bad anyway? Like a misbehaving three-year-old? Any parent would think those things and have to tell their child that. I'd probably do that. But still, I feel like a dumbass for getting engaged and then telling her about it. She's not even telling the relatives about it. And she made me promise I wouldn't elope. I'm not so sure if this was just to make sure she could be there so much as it was making sure we wouldn't do something even more stupid because we're stupid kids.

She's right. We're a couple of immature gits who aren't even remotely secure and settled yet. (I don't know anyone my age who is. Or hell, anyone 30 and under who is. That's my generation for ya.) Admittedly, that's why it's going to be a long engagement in the first place so we can work on that (I for one think it's kind of stupid to plan things without that in mind anyway), but still... I have a hunch that it's going to be a lot longer than two years before we're even "secure" enough for Mom to feel secure about this and not freak out at the idea.

I have vaguely told Dave the gist of this conversation, but never heard much out of him about it because his train came in. I doubt he wanted to talk about it much, since it's everything he was freaking out about last night.

I also told him to forget the idea of the two of us spending any family holidays together this year. I already know that going to any family gatherings of mine would require him spending the night somewhere, which is Not Okay with my family anyway, but if they don't even know, well... and likewise I couldn't go to anything of his. Oh well, at least I won't have to worry about that so damn much any more. Rather a relief. He is distinctly not happy about it, though.

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