Chaos Attraction

The Dreich

2014-12-03, 10:48 p.m.

Okay, this entry has been rewritten sooooooooo many times today, you have no idea.

Earlier in the day, probably somewhere between 1 and 4 p.m.:

I apologize in advance, because I am probably in the throes of SAD right now because it's pouring ass rain and while I also know I'm not allowed to complain about rain during a drought, I am soggy and too hot or too cold all the time and trapped indoors and it's dark and WAAAAAAAAAAH. I went out during lunch to shop at the bookstore because they were having a one day only whopping sale. While yes, I got Xmas gifts for cheap, I also ended up utterly drenched. Not to mention it was a sauna in the bookstore and there I am trying to carry my sopping coat and umbrella and purchases while not trying to get the latter wet, and I can't put them in my bag due to looking like a shoplifter. I can't put the wet things in the bag either, and the purchases are trying to stab me, and my arm started aching and shaking from the awkward positioning. Feh. FEH, I SAY.

I had two meetings scheduled for tonight: my regular writing group meeting and "oh, you didn't know there's a meeting tonight?" Um, nope, I did not get that e-mail. (I should probably clarify that #2 meeting thing is a class that usually runs Mondays and isn't supposed to be interfering with writing group meetings, specifically since I said I'm busy then, and yet somehow the instructor keeps scheduling extra meetings on writing group nights.) After being outside in the fucking dreich outside during lunch, I posted a grumpy NOT GONNA GO OUTSIDE IN THAT response to debating whether or not to have the regular meeting tonight, which led to a decision to cancel on going to meetings in December. To which I have to say, thank god because I'd be terrified to drive the causeway in that level of rain in the dark.

I'm still debating whether or not to go to a party I got invited to in Rocklin next weekend, which I have to RSVP for in advance, because if it's pouring ass rain that day I am probably not gonna want to go so much, especially since I'm going to Dickens Fair the day before and would have to start the drive from the Bay. (Also, while the company was lovely, the restaurant they like is just terrible. Great decor, tasteless food. If you cook food worse than I do and you run a restaurant, that is saying something.) Likewise, Merry wants me to accompany her to Reno on Sunday and even though it's possibly not going to be raining that day and I don't have to drive, I'm kinda not super psyched at that idea either (especially since I'm basically gonna sit there while she works). I can think of other things I might like to get done, like present-wise. But the weekend's not figured out yet either.

Around 4 p.m. the weather doodad on my computer started showing sun rather than rain. I just went out. IT'S NOT RAINING ANY MORE, IT'S EVEN SUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's amazing how much the asstastic mood just wore off upon LOOK THERE IS SUNLIGHT happening. I have been debating whether or not to go to #2 now that #1 got canceled (#2 is at least in my town and doesn't involve a scary wet dark causeway), but I think I shall be going after all. Also I finally dried out some, so that helps.

So since I wasn't going to the meeting, I decided to go to the elective class session thing in town. I should probably explain (since it will be coming up again later in the month) that I have been taking a 3 month long class in EFT/meridian tapping. The first round ended in October and the second round starts mid-December, but she also has a drop-in session once a month for random folks. Yes, I'm aware that it sounds wackadoo, but my shrink totally sanctioned me doing it and said she wants to take classes herself. It's about stress and pressure points and releasing tension about issues, basically. And I have been taking this class essentially to get myself over my fear of doing anything showoffy/noticeable, preferably as a career someday, because I am freaked out--or have been freaked out-- about bringing down a pile o'shit onto my head, as tends to happen to women nowadays who have been heard of well, anywhere.

I felt a little weird having to talk about my issue after everyone else went--let's just say they had heavy family/relationship drama going on and meanwhile I am all "Yeah, I feel like I should write an intro post for Holidailes and all I really have to say is "same as last year, I suck" (you're not seeing the attempts I made at writing that earlier today, thank goodness), "and why can't I be all like Cheryl Strayed and like, hike away my issues?" I also started feeling bizarrely sleepy, which I don't normally do there and she said might be some kind of blockage issue in itself if I wanted to escape by sleeping. However.... we did tapping for probably somewhere between an hour and two hours-- and...Shit. Cleared. Out. She has you rank on a scale from 1-10 how you're feeling at the start and then later on in the session at various points to see how you're feeling. I was about at a 7-8 or so when I came in and ended at...straight up zero. Unconcerned with this issue at the moment as I type. And it only took four months (been doing this since August) to get there!

(Some people go faster than others. Clearly not me.... but the instructor says it takes her longer too.)

Anyway, for the moment I am feeling remarkably un-angsty about this particular issue. Just kinda....clear. All right. Cool with shit. GO FIGURE. I really, really hope it lasts. Because uh, the Gavle Goat got mentioned on Metafilter again (they've got a new plan to prevent burning: move all the taxi pickups to that area!) and I posted the sweater there :)

I am definitely glad there was no meeting tonight for another reason: I hadn't driven my car in 2 weeks (can't drive on campus, Mom's been around on weekends), so I figured I should rev her up to make sure the engine still ran and all that, plus I didn't think it was the best idea to hike around in wet dark leaf mess even though it still wasn't raining by 6ish when I left. However, I don't think I ever did manage to de-steam my car all the way despite running the defroster, rolling down all the windows, mopped off the windows, the usual tricks. I could see enough to drive the few blocks over, but I still probably shouldn't have been driving, I suspect.

Anyway, I found the lone TIGHT parking space left in the nearest parking lot...and then I apparently left the car door open a crack and did not notice this until I returned hours later. During which time it rained again. I didn't notice until I got home that the bottom right foot well (or whatever you call that area) was sopping wet with at least an inch of water. The seat, however, was completely and utterly dry. GO FIGURE ON HOW THIS HAPPENED. So I removed the floor mat to let it dry outside in the hall, got a bunch of washcloths, and did my best to scoop water out of there and then dry it off as best I could without a hot day or a blow dryer or something afterwards. Man, I hope that doesn't secretly ruin the car or something that I did that. Sigh. I have been pondering going to a few out of town theater shows this weekend, but man, I don't think I want to drive to them in the wet dark now. Wet dark scares me.

And now it's nearly eleven and I have got to get this sucker posted SOMETIME.

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