Chaos Attraction

Cruise- Day Two

2008-12-05, 7:51 p.m.

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We have a window! I saw two cruise ships from the window!

Am currently (9:30) in a talk on shopping in Cabo. Seriously, there is a seminar (with free crap) on where to go, how to haggle, etc. They have "guaranteed" stores to shop in- 10 exactly. Honestly, not ones I want to shop in (i.e. mostly diamond stores- I am the lone person on the planet who doesn't like diamonds). Meh. I would like to point out that there was ONE restaurant on the list that they "guaranteed" would not make you sick, and it was a lobster house. I asked about Cabo Wabo (Merry wants me to go over there and pick her up some merchandise) and was told it got taken OFF the list for making people sick. Lovely.

I find it interesting what kinds of jobs people can have around here. For example, you can get paid to shop. There is a shopping expert on the ship who gets paid to go to Cabo twice a week and buy expensive stuff, and then tell everyone where they can go to. Yes, folks, a job like that does exist.

In between talks, I got a $10 purse and $10 "psuedo-pashmina" (yes, it's billed like this on the tag!) for formal night tonight. My outfit is gold, and I had nothing gold at home and the ship did. Everyone is stocking up at this place.

Now (11:14 a.m.), I am in the talk on Safe Excursions To Go To. DO NOT GO ON ANY OTHER TOURS or you will be late/missing the ship/screwed, apparently. Or you may end up DEAD. During this talk, it's all "OMG do the ones we say, otherwise you may DIE on a capsized water taxi." Whee. This does not make Mexico sound fun. Not that the excursion thing really matters because Mom does not want to go on any of them. I'd like to do dolphin swimming or the underwater sub, but all she wants to do is shop, so that wins. Did I mention that during this talk they are all, "GO ON AN EXCURSION OR YOU WILL NOT HAVE FUN IN CABO? NO REALLY, SERIOUSLY, YOU WON'T?" (I'm not 100% sure this is totally for "we're making the money" reasons when they say that, either.)

You know what? I wanted to go on a cruise all my life and I wasn't so picky on where as long as the weather was good. (Mom wants to go on a cruise to Alaska, and I do not. Every time she talked to someone who had gone on a cruise to Alaska, they talked about how massively seasick they got on it and how awful the water is while getting there. I am hoping this discourages her.) But that said, I have never actually wanted to go to Mexico, and probably would have flat-out turned this down if we were spending longer than a day there. I can't say I feel all yippie-skippie about going somewhere where everything is apparently completely unsafe or will make you shit uncontrollably for days. Call me white, privileged, and untraveled because I never left North America in my life and haven't even left the US since the 80's and when I did it was to Canada, 'cause it's all true, but choosing to go somewhere like that does not seem logical to me.

I find it ironic that today was the day I was most looking forward to on the cruise- LOUNGE DAY!- and yet here I am spending all day in talks on how to survive in Cabo. Okay, fine to spend the morning doing this, I guess, it's useful. But apparently this afternoon will be spent in MORE talks because if you go to the jewelry seminar, you can get a free sapphire. I was wanting to work out and/or lounge by the pool/spa while it's still daylight out, but now I'm not counting on it. Ouch.

6:30 p.m.: Well, didn't do much today. Ate fried crap at the grill! Went to the jewelry talk at 3. Napped. Went to "high tea" in a really funky piano bar. Got dressed for formal night.

(Written the next day, same night, I'll just leave it in the entry...)

Formal night is the best thing about a cruise. Everyone looks gorgeous (and the few who don't dress up, it's all like, what's wrong with you?). I got to wear my new gold skirt that I have nowhere else to wear it to during the holiday season. The new accessories looked perfect with it. Getting photos taken with Mom felt like prom night all over again. (I wore gold then too.) Went to the captain's cocktail hour and ate meatballs and some kind of veggie spread and drank free drinks. Got a lot of compliments on the outfit.

After dinner, I watched the karaoke for awhile. It made me wish I had signed up because I at least knew the lyrics, unlike most people. Incidentally, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" is not a particularly good song to try to do karaoke to. Long instrumentals, long periods of making "Ooh" noises, and flat out speaking rather than singing goes on on anything other than the chorus. Awkward for the couple who picked that one.

Then the rest of them went to bed, and I...went dancing for like 2 1/2 hours in the disco. It was marvelous. You know how most people are all, "When I die, I'll wish I had spent more time with my family?" Mine will be, "I wish I had spent more time clubbing." I rarely go because (a) I'm a nerd and most of my friends are completely uninterested in going, and (b) being a weirdo magnet, I get creeps finding me if I'm alone in a club. Here, neither of these things was an issue. I did dance with a few guys (surprise). I even saw people over the age of 25 dancing, which was awesome. I also saw a dude pole dance- he tended to take a running leap at the pole and slide down it fireman-style while everyone cheered. It made me think that someone really needs to write some kind of R&B/rap song about dudes pole dancing because it would get the attention of "the ladies." Call it... Brave the Pole, if you will.

I do not rap, but ah...oh hell with it, let's improv some crappy lyrics for this entry!

It's hot in da club
all the ladies get down
rub themselves against the pole
being so sexy there

She's braving the pole
brave the pole

then one dude steps up
he braves the pole
he swivels on down
while the ladies swoon

Brave the pole
Brave the pole

as he slides on down
one shorty makes her move
rides his pole...

Uh, you get the drift :)

I had a great time and there was no shutdown at 1:30. Alas, I had to get up early and left around then anyway.

Best night of the trip! Yay dancing!

Oh, and before I forget: tonight's animal.

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