Chaos Attraction

Coney Island Christmas Night 7: The Substitute

2019-12-06, 8:14 p.m.

(note: all of this went on Thursday the 5th, but I did not have time to write it all before the Holidailies time rollover.)

Mark (or is it spelled Marc? I guess it’s with a c now) had to be out this night for a school grade, so we had Jason from As You Like It subbing in. He did a great job after seeing the show once and presumably having a few days to learn the lines. Thankfully Marc doesn’t have a whole lot of them in one go or anything, but he managed to actually imitate Marc pretty well too, down to even hiding out on the same staircase in the greenroom that Marc is always huddling on watching videos. He was a bit more Shakespearean elegant than Marc is, as Marc is on the grumpy side for his characters (Herod and Scrooge, but Squanto isn’t so much). Jason got to run the scenes once before the show went on and hadn’t even tried on the costumes. But other than putting the Scrooge outfit on over his choir robe, that seemed to be just fine.

“Really, as long as his pants stay on, we’re good,” I said to Germaine about that one. Thankfully, Jason had his own pants.

Anita finally followed up on whether or not we’re going to be doing anything before the tractor parade. Answer: not if it’s raining because of costumes. I was wondering if we re doing anything like, under an awning or something. I guess not. She said we’d just sing, but it seems unlikely that it won’t be raining, so she wasn’t going to bother rehearsing us. However, we have to wait on notice until Saturday morning to get an email to find out what is going on.

Quotes and activities:

Amelia’s eye was twitching before the show, which was making her crazy. Quotes from her on the topic:
“Stab my eye out because I’m trying to put on mascara and my eye is twitching.”
(Kenneth’s response to this: “See, I wouldn’t have to do that, I’d just stab my eye.”)
“So annoying!”
“I would literally be without an eye right now!”

“Theater, live theater.” -Cameron
“Herding cats.” -Kirsten (baby’s mom), followed by “You must hear that a lot.”
“I had to herd kittens once for a photo shoot. That was nuts.” -Crystal (Jackelyn’s mom)

“I can’t Spanish in Spanish.” -Jayden
“I’m gonna use that line next time anyone asks me why I can’t speak Spanish.” -me

“I love makeup!” -kid

Abner was petting Drew’s beard, such as it is. Later he hugged Drew to the point of kinda knocking him over.
“You weirdo,” was Drew’s response.

Bridget brought Chex Mix and it was all gone by the end of the first act. The cheese balls were especially popular.
For whatever reason, Ava was feeling around the table for the Chex Mix with her eyes closed.
“We’re just kind of vibing with these pretzels.” -Bianca.
“This somehow doesn’t shock me that it’s gone by the first act.” -me
“It ended up all on this lady’s face.” -Kenneth on Bianca
I brought in some free weekly magazines and some kids decorated the lady’s face on them with Chex Mix, dubbing her “Vannelope Von Saltz.”

At some point Jayden thought he had something on his butt and made Germaine check it. “I can see the headlines now. Teacher of the Year arrested for inappropriate touching,” she said.

“I hurt myself 5 times in 3 days.” -Jayden, previously known for bragging about how he doesn’t get hurt when jumping around.

“I fell over because Hannah kept tasering me.” -Kenneth, I have no idea on context or who Hannah is to him.

“You know, my mom’s weird, she likes to watch Spanish soap operas.” -William

“I literally did not think that anyone could be that annoying... you win the Nobel Prize for that.” -Amelia to Arlo

“Because people are stupid.” -Jayden

At some point before the show started, Abner had tape over his mouth. Do we know why? No, but Josie said, “It’ll keep him quiet right now.”

“Jayden, you’re in charge of making everyone sing loud.” -Anita
“Why me?” -Jayden
“You have a loud voice.” -Anita

“Please don’t kill my hand.” -Jayden to Jason during the hand holding circle (which totally fizzled tonight, btw. We need to just do the wave rather than be subtle about squeezes.)

Robert was imitating “The Shadow Knows.”

As the various adults were yelling out New York insults from backstage, Izzy and Ava were acting that out backstage as well.

After I got Jackelyn into her Pilgrim outfit first, she yelled out to everyone else, “I won!”

Germaine’s History Lesson of the Day: James I wrote a “very boring” book on witchcraft that you had to read in order to get ahead in his court, and also he was dubbed “the wisest fool in Christendom.”

Now that Jason has subbed in, William can check off his theater bingo card for having worked with all of the (acting) Williams family members.

“I’ve done long hair, I’ve done a beard, now I’ve done both long hair and a beard.” -William

There’s STILL leftover food in the green room from Thanksgiving. “It’s 2 weeks after Thanksgiving, I might as well steal it now.” -William.

During the post Thanksgiving wardrobe change, I mentioned being in dance classes and doing “strip shows” like this in between dance numbers. Jayden was quite shocked and I was all, no, like we’re doing with costumes, nobody’s naked. Also, “you gotta learn this stuff somehow,” which he sort of objected to and then I was all, “Hey, I saw you reading Forever, buddy, that’s a lot worse than anything I’ve said.” Bridget was all, “let’s change the subject.”

“I’ve heard they practice trudging at home.” -Dona

After William said that Mr. Hilton says a lot of dumb things, like about Shirley being Jewish and Miss Glace can’t be French and Jewish at once. Scott’s reply: “Oh, I’m a complete twit.” Also that he doesn’t figure out that Miss Glace’s into him until she attacks him on the lips. (I will restrain myself from further commentary on this topic.)

Arlo put on a long coat with a hood and snuck out during intermission. “Arlo! You survived the bathroom visit!” -Josie

I am told there is an by game by Kenny G called “Keep It Saxy.”

“In my opinion, all board games don’t deserve to exist.” -Cameron

William said he ran into Cody and Cody couldn’t remember the name of the play he was last in, playing the lead. Also, “We played cops a lot of times. We’re always happy to not play cops.”

“Kids are so dramatic. Drama queens.” -William on the Jackie/Ira fight in the show.

Eliza pointed out that in all movies, the clocks are set at 10:10.

After we have a discussion backstage about how Santa is creepy with the constant watching: “All he does is make toys and watch children all day.” -me

Jayden on the angel, who says “Trust me:” “I don’t want to trust you.”

“That guy just likes to fall.” -me watching Kenneth doing another fall as Joseph (in addition to his “break a leg” moment).
“Finally, someone has a falling part besides me. Dona, you and I are always the go to fall people.” -William

“I have to go on stage now?” -William to Jayden

“Don’t you have GPS? How many times does Santa get lost? This is like the seventh time!” -William to Santa

“I have a hard time saying statistic, even as an adult.” -William

“He said utensils on the Christmas tree, not tinsel.” -kid

“I can scream like a banshee. Men, it terrifies them.” -Cameron on how screaming worked great as a fencing technique. “And then you stab them.”

“I think I literally have hairs up my nose from this thing.” -Robert

“Your fiance is having a baby and you don’t need to marry her.” -Jackelyn.

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