Snores, Guns, and Shawls
2018-12-10, 6:09 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
I mentioned last weekend that Mom has a snoring problem and I gave her a bit of a useless ultimatum about “either go to a doctor or she clears out some space in the house.” I did go so far as to pack a sleeping bag in my car for the weekend in preparation for sleeping in the bathroom, though I ended up not taking it out of the trunk.
Well, I gotta give her props for this: she actually went to an ear, nose and throat doctor on Friday. She apparently had both an enormous amount of wax in her ear and had to get her nose cauterized. (I actually need to do this too but have put it off for...I dunno, 8 years? Like I’m going to get off my ass and go to a specialty doctor uh, ever...) And I can say that this time I was able to sleep at her house with the “good” earplugs in and she didn’t make too much noise beyond some snuffling-type noises. So yay for this.
She has also bought herself a loom knitting kit and a “How to Knit” kit/book. She has vaguely brought this topic up off and on for about 15 seconds for years, so I am surprised she committed to buying this. I asked her when she wanted to sit down and do this and she said “maybe when we’re going to San Diego,” so....I dunno, we’ll see. Like everything else in my world, this is a “probably not” scenario. But it would be nice.
I also want to tell a story I heard last night that I forgot to mention. Roger told a story about taking a married female friend of his named Lisa out shooting while her husband was in Tahoe. They came back to Lisa’s house and were stripping the gun, cleaning it, and having Lisa practice putting the gun back together. Little did Roger know that Lisa’s husband Terry* had some surveillance app on his phone that he could turn on at will long distance in the house, and at some point Lisa’s all “say hi to Terry!” Roger in turn was all “Hey, why don’t I give Lisa a hug and tell Terry to get back here?” Just screwing with him, I believe. Then Terry sees the gun field-stripped on the table and freaks out and Roger’s all, “hey Lisa, why don’t you put the gun back together and I’ll time it?” Lisa put the gun back together in 30 seconds, then pointed it at the camera and said “Bang!” I think I like this Lisa even though I haven’t met her.
* who according to Roger is a good guy, because otherwise I would wonder about this a lot.
Also, at Big Lots I found a "Musical Doormat Insert" for $10. Let's see, for $10 I could make my doormat musical...and then be able to make it stop? Mom also tried to talk me into buying a set of musical lights, but I pointed out once again that the neighbors would kill me.
As for today (the 9th), I met up with Jackie in SF to go out to tea at Lovejoy’s, which was fun as usual. I spent a lot of time on BART and driving to do all of that. I am trying to finish up a tricky shawl-thing for tomorrow’s knitting gift swap party. I tried to see if I could find more yarn for it on the way home, but that is all gone. So... I have been working on this for like a month and pulling it out and reknitting it again--it’s basically a squiggle but the pattern designer doesn’t clarify how much you need to be doing on each squiggle round. I need to finish the thing tonight or else substitute in a random scarf I made during the time I was working on the undersea garden piece for my show. Sigh. This is harder than it should be.
Edited to add: I finished it. I...don't know. I don't think it's perfect enough to hand off to someone else as a gift, but it's way too late to nitpick it now and it seems to look well enough on, at least. We shall see how someone reacts.